Physics teacher – They’ll never build a channel tunnel.
German teacher – The Berlin Wall will never come down.

What gems of knowledge did your teachers come out with only to be proved wrong soon afterwards?

“You’ll never make it past your AS Level year”

In July I graduated uni with a first 🙂

stop dreaming about killing people and get a real job 😀

‘If you don’t change your attitude you’ll be fishing shopping trolleys out of the canal for a living’

‘carry on working hard and you will do well in life’

How wrong he was 😆

‘You little bastard’

😮

Edit: No actually that was technically correct.

“You’ll look back at school and think that these were the happiest days of your life.”

Yeah right!!! 😕

LOL IDave good money doing that and no stress like being a teacher and normally use mechanical machines to do it 🙂

i cant remember what they said to me ? too much water gone under the bridge since then !
ah yes wait a minuit i remember one time, i was about 5, 6 or 7 years of age and teacher said ” draw one of the four sons” i went away and drew and coloured in a big yellow/orange sun !!! ” well that will do i suppose elaine” she said “we can still use it on the backdrop of our big wall picture.
she’s quiet as a mouse (we never hear or see her, she,s sooo tiny ! i never did grow ? 😕

“Do your parents know you smoke cigars ?”

This thread could be easily misinterpreted…

Monsta. Your comment reminds me of what Kurt Cobain said about the cover shot of Nevermind.

At boarding school to hide the smell of fag smoke in the dorms we used to burn josticks. I got hauled up in front of the house mistress for taking drugs. I found this extremely amusing and laughed in her face. She said “Karinofnine, aren’t you afraid of anything?” I said, “Well, I’m certainly not afraid of josticks!”.

I was expelled not long after that…

“I suppose a reach around’s out of the question?”

Repeatedly: “Spell Rhetorical”

You must have been very proud of your towering intellect to use that one so many times to a 9 year old…

“got a light.?”

…just looked up “reach around”… my, you do learn a lot on STW! 😆

In a maths lesson,

LAD, YES YOU, THE LAD WHO HASNT TURNED ROUND TO SEE WHO IAM SHOUTING AT.

Next minute he came running up behind me, gave me such a thump i shot forward out of the seat, and landed on the lad in front, who then jumped up, and tried topunch me, and hit the Pychopath teacher insted, oh how we all laughed.

Strangely in another maths lesson, different teacher, he hit a lad with a 4 foot plastic board ruler, split his head open, all covered up, and the lad rtransfered to another school,for being disruptive.

They might have done, but I wasn’t listening.

“SMITH!!! You’ll never get a job looking out the window all day”

I’m now an air traffic controller

“Andrew has a vibrant sense of colour”

Actually Andrew is very colourblind

“Andrew gets good results in tests but could do with being more forthcoming in class and participating more”

Actually Andrew is never in your classes, you just haven’t noticed yet.

“Andrew showed an indepth knowledge of the text”

Andrew didn’t read the book, but did watch 2/3rds of the film

‘If he put as much energy into his school work as he does in to trying to impress his friends, he could do well.’

This was a recurring comment in my school reports and I tend to agree looking back 🙂

“terry you are a lazy git and will never ammount to anything”

my pe teacher in 2nd year

last time i saw him he was standing at the side of the course at strathpuffer as i came round for the 9th or 10th time …

did the same to a mate – wouldnt let him do the schools XC running champs for non attendance of class …. he turned up and blitzed the field but it didnt count as a school win because he wasnt entered by the school….

Maths teacher who always said “Sorry” to the girl who sat just in front of the back row after throwing the board duster at the back row students. He bought a tennis ball after a while! Those were the best days of my life!

Ayhe Uphillcursing lad. Go polish bumpers on’t TVR till Ah can me arse in t shine.

He was from Barnsley I recall and as it was a glorious hot sunny day I didn’t mind passing double woodwork in that manner.

Your 27. You can’t hang around here any more.

‘WAKE UP lad or at least have the decency not to snore and disturb the rest of the class’

One of my rather laid back english teachers.

TheSwede – Member
Your 27. You can’t hang around here any more.
POSTED 4 MINUTES AGO # REPORT-POST

Although you should hang around until you have learnt it should be ‘you’re’ 😉

A direct quote from my maths teacher in my 1983 school report that my wife and i were having a good laugh over earlier this week: “Adrian is capable of producing some very good work. Unfortunately we haven’t seen it yet this term”. Classic!

Attainment A/B
Effort C/D

I saw this as a positive. 😕

We had a useless Biology teacher who couldn’t keep control of the class. He eventually decided to leave and work elsewhere.

I actually don’t think we gave him much of a hard time and discipline wasn’t really that bad, but maybe I was wrong on that because only 9 out of over 100 across four classes in my year passed their O Level later that year.

When he left, he announced to the class that I wouldn’t have a “cat in hell’s chance” of passing my exam. I was slightly bemused at his personal attack as we had always seemed to get along. It was probably because I didn’t feel like my efforts/abilities were ever recognised by him (coz he was so useless at his job) and this definitely affected my attitude in class.

Anyhow, I was one of the 9 who passed.

“Get a haircut.”

“Keep the noise down and put that beer away. Some people are trying to sleep.”

“I am not a fascist. I’m Jewish”

Boarding school, you see.

pomona – Member
“SMITH!!! You’ll never get a job looking out the window all day”

I’m now an air traffic controller

LOL at this, very good.

I spent my school life bored looking out if the window.

I wish i’d paid more attention as I might have a better job now

“You’ll never make it past your AS Level year”

In July I graduated uni with a first

“He will never make it past year 9.”

Said to the rest of the class after I walked out of a lesson in year 7.

Going off to uni tomorrow to start a 4 year masters course in maths…

Going off to uni tomorrow to start a 4 year masters course in maths…

Not Bath by any chance?

Going off to uni tomorrow to start a 4 year masters course in maths…

You mean you’re going to do an undergraduate degree that takes four years, the final of which converts it to a masters.

Concentrate on the important things at university: beer and birds.

Yeah the point of year 1 is to get drunk every night for as long as you can take it/til the money runs out. Year 2 you have to be more sensible, then year 3 even more so. I could do a masters, just can’t be arsed to waste another year and would rather be earning!

“Heroin is not necessarily addictive and harmless if used correctly.”
Biology teacher and occasional smackhead.

French teacher broke into school grounds one night whilst pissed and sprayed “Bollocks to Horrocks” in four foot high letters on the side of the gym. Mr Horrocks was the deputy head. They didn’t get on.
He took great pleasure in telling everyone on the day he left – nice bloke.

Mr Potter RIP. Unfortunately hung himself after his wife left him.
“what do you want me to play, Sex Pistols or Tom Robinson Band?”

“Heroin is not necessarily addictive and harmless if used correctly.”

True. It’s used as a painkiller. I had it just prior to an operation. Did me no harm at all.

I’m grateful I had one or two teachers who were open, honest and objective about drugs.

Never had their own gear though. Always bloody smoked mine. Mind, fair trade I spose for letting me sit in their office at break, and skin up.

Concentrate on the important things at university: beer and birds.

Sage advice. It’s very very unlikely you will get the same ‘opportunities’ ever again. Enjoy it while you can.

And don’t worry about a ‘career’ ffs; there won’t be any jobs when you come out of Uni anyway.