*The Soks household, moments ago, Mrs Soks returns from a day out*
Me "Greetings, Sweet one. Hast thou had a splendid day?"
Mrs Soks (suspicious) "What have you been up to?"
Me "Oh, trifiling chaps stuff and some ministering to our offpring"
MS "What's that smell?"
Me " Questions, questions. Tis a pine fresh smell. A clean smell"
MS " Have you washed this kitchen floor?"
Me " Er, indeed I have, oh apple of my eye, and the work surfaces"
MS (accusing) " You've had those bloody bikes in here, haven't you??"
Me " Er, possibly, but see! The kichen doth shine"
MS " you know what I said would happen if I found you'd brought any of those filthy, greasy things in the house don't you?"
Me (Mutters, Basil Fawlty like, while moving swiftly towards garage) " You'll have to sew 'em back on first!"
Women, eh? 
