Just want to share this with you.
Both my father and I have never really seen eye to eye. Nohing I have ever done has been worthy of his praise.
He grew up in a hard environment with both of his parents failing to show him any love. He has been unable to break this and in turn has passed this lack of affection on to both my brother and I. We haven't really spoken since I was 15 and I am now 38.
A lifetime of wanting to get close but being pushed away has lead me to be very confrontational whenever I have seen them, we have had some major arguments. Yet we are still a family that is close in every sense of the word - other than face to face( does that make sense)??
Just recently we have been starting to piece things together and I have just spent the last few days with my parents...no arguments.
Today ( I am a first response Paramedic)
I was called to a chap who the same age as my father had collapsed whilst out with his wife. He was normally fit and well and had the rest of his retirement ahead of him.
We tried in vain to save him - his wife on scene all the time reminding me of my mother and quite surrealy I felt as if I was witnessing the death of my father and my mothers anguish and feelings of loss.I felt out of body and looking down at a future event.
The ambulance departed.
I got in my response car......to head to the hospital
Turn on the radio....what is playing?
Mike and the Mechanics - Living years
Jeez....came home and just broke down.