i have a had an ‘interesting’ project given to me at work that will involve me coordinating lots of members of staff to do bits of manual filing of documents. I work in an organisation that is rife with BS bingo, and this seems like a perfect opportunity to invent my own term. So…

I would like to plan my project so that staff are working hard in the early stages and the work load tails off towards the end.

I would like to whip out some BS bingo in my proposal.

So far I have

“Head end heavy labour schedule”
“reverse tapered man management scheme”

You guys are usually a goldmine of this stuff, what you got?

The initial stages of the project will be an intensive effort, pulling the branches down so that later on you can pick the low hanging fruit

“Working towards a successful crimp”

‘near inception zenith to the resource requirement curve’

you’ve been singing at too many people’s weddings

What fences for a unicorn? 8)

The initial intensivated people-hour inputs will evolve into a panacea of end-result deceleration of workload requirements.

DrP

The project has hit a wet root.

We will leverage the task-loading deficit in the delivery phase to flatten the engagement curve

A front-loaded, distributed engagement model

Aaarrgghh ^^^^^ didn’t mean to steal ‘engagement’. It’s the right word though 🙂

What fences for a unicorn?

you’ll be looking for a ring, sir?

Top effort sir! 😀

globally foster placement storage technologies (that is filing in the right place…)

You’ll need someone to honeybee on that.

“Shattering paradigms in the initial phase then transferring to a reactionary stance on thinking outside the box.”

That’s all I’ve got.

That ring is something else!

It’s like the ultimate set of corporate knuckledusters. Somewhere there is an office temp with the ringfenced unicorn imprinted on his forehead

Surely you shouldn’t be giving them false hope by giving them new age management speak.

“Put this in the right draw, you pleb!” should suffice.
HTH

But also remember
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499265 by tangwyn, on Flickr[/img]

Your project resource profile is hunting the long tail armadillo.

Imagine a graph showing number of people on the project over time.

Small group at the very start (head of the armadillo)
Ramping up to large group and then dwindling again (body and tail of armadillo)

I used it to describe the effect of a marketing campaign once. It was a bet that I couldn’t get Armadillo into my presentation. 3 months later at the annual company presentations the Sales Director announced that we were “Bringing home the long tailed armadillo”

i am sure you can do the same

Heard this at the weekend from a girl on our road ride whose employer has “Work Families” rather than teams, groups or departments.Bloody riduculous if you ask me!

Well from what WCA has said I think you need to ringfence the armadillo’s head then see how much the tail wags.

Giving 150% in the initial workload investment, allowing for a reduction in resource allocation in the latter stages.

If anyone said that to me, in person, for realsies, I would punch them square in the plums.

That ring is awesome 🙂

@ Bigbut slimmerbloke…Freemason?

‘schedule hominid analogue registry tabulation’ or SHART as the acronym.

Edit: Meteorite burning?

Push the turtles head out now so by the end of the project you’ll be touching cloth

I’ve managed to get some of the drones to start repeating the phrase ‘delivery narrative’

I did once sit through a meeting doing my best not to laugh, but eventually gave in, so unfortunately the procedure for the Adverse Reporting of System Errors was renamed.

Christ, how did I miss this?

working hard in the early stages and the work load tails off towards the end

Pushing the turd.

Pushing the turd.

This earlier version of that was more elegant…

“Working towards a successful crimp”

Don’t ignore the MP dinosaur theory…

Effectuate initial frenetic expansion of the original Columbidae orifice hypothesis harmonise squad output linking to a subsequent mellow set output and ensuing regulation of the fore mentioned feathered biped aperture… 😯

This earlier version of that was more elegant…

Ah, you’re quite right…I missed it, and significantly more eloquent.