I’m massively into my health. And a real anti-smoker. Partly because I see health as the most important thing in my life, partly because I find it anti-social and partly because it killed my Grandad, right in front of my Grandma…

There’s this girl at work who in many ways is very attractive and I get the feeling it’s reciprocated…
But she smokes. A lot. And doesn’t talk about wanting to give up.

Which for me is a major negative. A deal breaker. Partly the whole anti-social side of it (any non-smokers ever snogged a smoker?!) and partly I guess there’s a mismatch of values in there somewhere…

Anyone here manage to be ok with a smoking partner?

Aren’t you an ex-smoker? I seem to recall your username was related to that?

Anyway, I just wouldn’t/couldn’t be involved with a smoker from either the simple smell/etc pov or from the inherent acceptance of smoking as a reasonable thing to do and not at least give it a good go to stop.

when I was younger I dated a couple of smokers. Decided it wasn’t for me, resolved never to do so again.

There’s this girl at work who in many ways is very attractive and I get the feeling it’s reciprocated…
But she smokes. A lot. And doesn’t talk about wanting to give up

However the fact she smokes makes her instantly unattractive to me, personally I’d not even bother with her.

Plenty of non-smoking laydees in the world, dude.

A deal breaker…

… mismatch of values in there somewhere

This – but I guess everyone will have their own take.

Not an ex-smoker, no. Unless you count 4 weeks when I was 17. Always thought it was a nasty habit…

I guess it is one of those things which is a deal-breaker isn’t it…

I used to be really anti-smoker. Would never consider being with someone who smoked. I was cured by a stunning woman 17 years younger than me…. you learn to accept some negatives when there are numerous positives….. plus she smoked less when she was with me.

absolutely a deal breaker for me.
my gf used to smoke. quit a couple of years before we met. she can’t stand it now.
i’ve never smoked, and never had a partner that does. i have nothing against smokers themselves, just the smoking (if you get what i mean)…

Talk to her.
Tell her you like her.
If the feeling is reciprocated, make it clear you don’t like the smoking. If she likes you, I mean really likes you, she’ll give up.
If not, leave her to rot her insides.

My missus smoked when I met her. Took a while, but she cut down and down and now hates it. And I’m glad I persevered. Just had our 10th wedding anniversary 🙂

That’ll work. “hey, I really like you, but can we make a few changes?”

Deal breaker

Wow, yeah, I’ll overcome a powerful addiction for someone who means nothing to me at the moment!

Dated one girl who smoked when I was young and desperate. It’s not why we broke up but I didn’t like it much.

Wouldn’t date a smoker now. Though it’s not really an issue for me as I’m married to a non-smoker.

think you need to get over yourself somewhat, there are lots of things in the world just as bad as cigarette smoke, you have inhaled and or ingested them already today i will bet, not to mention the other ways you commit ‘self harm’

your fixation on cigarettes seems driven by the death of your grandad, you might need to come to terms with that before you open up your heart to another human being.

Bad breath and stinking clothes are the least of your worries, unless you already understand/accept what it means to develop a relationship with an addict.

when I was younger I dated a couple of smokers. Decided it wasn’t for me, resolved never to do so again.

I dated one. And she liked a glass of wine too. Kissing her was so revolting I can still remember how bad it tasted now, some 10 years later.

Never, ever again.

Wow, yeah, I’ll overcome a powerful addiction for someone who means nothing to me at the moment!

As I say, it worked for me. We had enough postive things to build a relationship on, that it didn’t matter.

be ready for lots of broken promises.

+1 Deal breaker.

Can’t find a smoker atractive.

my better half smoked quite often on nights out\when stressed etc, and it bothered me when we first got together. She’s cut it right down to maybe 3 or 4 a month (when out with her mates and drunk). I do plenty of stupid things/stuff she doesn’t like, so happy to accept it the way it is.

I’ve been out with some girls who smoked more, and some who smoked less. In my opinion, you should give it a shot. it might be that smoking is the dealbreaker, it might be that she’s so awesome it doesn’t really bother you, or in the long term she’ll change

Christ almighty there’s some pompous, bleating, self-righteous, holier-than-thou crap posted on here at times. And its normally this subject that brings it out.

“Hi… I really like you, but there are a couple of issues I have with you’re lifestyle choices”

“Oh really…. lets discuss them. Oh…. hang on. how about you go and shove them up your arse instead?” 🙄

binners isnt getting any coz hes a stinky fag-ash-lil 😛

@ Binners.
That’s not the plan.
If she wants to smoke it’s her choice and I’ve no plan to try and persuade her otherwise.
But I don’t think I’d want to date her. Which is a shame cos she’s really quite hot 🙁

I’ll take her.

pompous, bleating, self-righteous, holier-than-thou crap posted on here

Maybe so, but I don’t think posters were commenting on RIGHT or WRONG…

… just their own views on what they could live with. Smoking / not smoking is generally pretty polarised

brooess – have you also considered that nicotine is an appetite suppressant and she might not be so hot when she has a direct debit to Krispy Kreme?

binners you dirty stinky bastard.

@ the OP, try taking it up. She might be really into you then. 🙂

brooess – wasn’t commenting on you. But it seems like that’s exactly what some people are suggesting. I really can’t believe the attitude of some people who think they have some kind of divine right to dictat to people how they should be living their lives. In this case at the very start of a relationship

Perhaps they should get mail-order partners where they could get them to fill in a multiple choice answer sheet of their specific requirements.

My beloved always said she would never ever go out with a smoker. Now she knows me properly, that’s the least of her worries 😉

I’m with Binners, this is all a bit sanctimonious.

If you don’t like smoking don’t go out with her.

If you are fabulously rich and ridiculously good looking and well-endowed, know lots of funny jokes and have no mother, ask her out on the condition that she quits.

It’s all give and takle in relationships you know….

I smoke(ish) my GF doesn’t, it doesn’t really* bother her. I used to go outside, and I really cut down after she asked me (once) when she was drunk, to try

*depends on how narky she’s being, sometimes it’s ok, sometimes, she really bitches about it.

I can see that for some it’d be a deal breaker, but then again I was charming, funny, intelligent, good cook, and great in the sack, so how could she refuse,(some of that isn’t true 😆 )

If you want to go out with her then do, but don’t do it under the assumption that she’ll fall in love with you and quit immediately. If you get on and she does quit then great, but if she doesn’t you cannot hold it against her and you should prepare for that.

you dont smoke she does. who the hell are you to change that. what gives you the right to try & change someone to suit you. its a choice to smoke & a choice not to smoke. you have the choice not to be involved as you know she smokes. smokers dont moan about you being a non smoker. its up to us if we want to take the gamble with health problems. my mum never smoked, kept healthy by eating the correct foods & do excercise suitable for her age. she got cancer. life is a gamble who the **** are you non smokers to tell us different.

lynchmob – no one is telling anyone to stop smoking.

hels – Member

If you are ridiculously good looking and well-endowed, know lots of funny jokes
.

Hey..just like me.. But you’re totally right..

And she’s probably thinking, if only that dude smoked and didn’t hang out all day with nerdy halfwits in spandex on an internet forum..

And my mrs smokes, I don’t like it, she does it outside, I just don’t let her ‘have me’ when she’s been smoking, horrid smell and taste. But she doesn’t like me going off riding all day and coming back muddy..

Live and let live ladies.. It’s what makes the world go round..

Only dated one smoker, she didnt even smoke that heavily – around 5 or 6 a day but I still decided it wasnt for me. Take the same line with people who have to drink glass or two of wine every evening.

ok sorry druidh. it just read it that way i do apologise. im very considerate when i have non smokers around me & will move away as i dont want to take there freedom. i also agreed with banning it in pubs. i just happen to smoke & like it 😀

But I don’t think I’d want to date her.

I’m sure she’s gutted.

My girlfriend smokes, it doesn’t bother me in the slightest, but then I’m a smoker too.

Female smokers are inherently lazy, littering, self righteous gossips.

For those facts alone im out!

STW Disclaimer: The above is from personal bitter experience only and does not reflect all Females who smoke.