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  • How do you tell a 5yo about death?
  • duckman
    Full Member

    Right my Wife’s 97yo Gran is on morphine,having had drip removed last weekend. She lived with my inlaws who also looked after my two boys during the day,so she spent a lot of time with them. We have explained to the older one who is 9, while upset he is ok with it.She had a damn good time of it(her words)drank copiously,frequently boasted that Goering couldn’t kill her,so she was going to live forever(she worked in Portsmouth during WW11) Thankfully she only got ill in the last month, so it has all been quite quick. My youngest is 5 and has a very strong bond to her. How do you explain to a child that age that she is going to die very soon and he won’t see her every day,as he pretty much has done all his life? I have never been in that position,either as a kid or as a parent.

    donsimon
    Free Member

    Honestly.

    Jamie
    Free Member

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    geordiemick00
    Free Member

    DOn’t tell the child until she sadly leaves us, he’ll only worry. My daughter at 6 watched her nan go through an 18 month battle with cancer which she lost on christmas day. Kids bounce really well and don’t truly understand grief like we do. best of luck

    qwerty
    Free Member

    Honestly.

    and obviously soften the blow. Incorporate it into whichever are your beliefs (god, heaven, science etc), and relate it to passed away family distant (your great great granddad etc). Explain that she is “poorly” at present and the docs are making her as comfortable as possible and answer any questions that are asked of you.

    martinhutch
    Full Member

    +1 honestly

    Only you can have an idea of what is the best approach for your child, of course, but when my two lost their granddad at a similar age, they coped OK being told pretty straight. I was surprised at how resilient they were.

    My only tip from passing on the news of a great-grandma’s death this Christmas, is that some children will internalise their feelings, and while not seeming particularly sad, won’t know how to express them, popping them out as changes in behaviour in the days and weeks afterwards, so be sensitive to this, even if he seems OKish in the immediate aftermath.

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