I've been through this,but my kids are now 18 and 14,so it's not a problem now.
Family does come first and night rides are a great solution to the work/family life balance. I like to ride at weekends,but generally it's local,cos I feel a bit of prick driving somewhere to ride my bike. I try to have a couple of trips to the Lakes each year,but we also do stuff as a family at weekends.
Marriage is all about compromise,try and sort a rota without it descending into a row…..not always easy.

maybe you should give the bike up for a couple of weeks,go down the pub one night a week and get ratarsed and say its your new hobby,bet she lets you out on your bike.

Sort your priorities out man for f*ck sake!! You can ride your bike anytime but you'll never get the chance to see your kid grow up more than once. When she divorces you and takes your kid away to live with another man who will be called daddy then you'll realise what you lost! I'm not bitter by the way 😀

Im afraid its just part of the territory with young ones. My situation is similar, compounded by the fact that she works late shifts/evenings (so in effect we tag-team), so quite often there is tension between me getting out to do stuff in the evenings, after she is off shifts, meaning we do not spend any time together. I work full time, and cycle to work on the road/canal, so try to incorporate it into my time.

Its never easy, especially if you do not have extended family around to help!!

Whatever you do, dont let it become an issue between you- your partnership is worth more than a few bikes rides which I am hoping will become more possible as the kids get older!!

Good luck!

Never a right answer here and depends on circumstances. The missus was always keen to have some sort of lie-in at the weekends so an early start has not been an option, certainly not frequently. However night rides were, so bought myself a decent set of lights and can pretty much go when I want after they're in bed – as long as my minds willing.

Changed jobs about 18mths ago and now bike in most days which has made a big difference, so am less inclined to get out at the weekend as well as I try and put the miles in to and from work. When I do, I try and time it when the youngest is having her afternoon nap.

Having said that a mate of mine has four under 6, and has a regular sat morning ride for four hrs regardless – how he gets away with it is beyond me!

Had a long chat tonight about it. Seems there are a few issues here, mainly to do with knowing how long a ride will take.

Apparently she is pissed off because I tell her one time I'll be back then come back later. Where I tell her I'll only be out for a couple of hours thinking she will stop me riding if I say it'll be x hours rather than x-2 hours. That'll be easy to sort out.

The other thing is she wants me to organise things to do with the kids and rather than just being there and running things, she wants me to arrange outings and things with the kids when I'm not riding.

Crazy – been with her for 15 years and sometimes its so easy to forget that just discussing things openly and honestly is the best way to resolve things.

She wants to come to some agreement. She's suggested I have two weekends a month where I bike ALL weekend then two where I spend it with the family. I'm thinking that may be too much so going to discuss alternatives.

Strange how things turn out.

EDIT – Sorry english really bad after a few pints 🙂

Sat down less drunk and discussed it this morning. Come up with a right good outcome so I'm well chuffed!

Hurray! 😀

I've just comeback from a good ride and (Im) currently cooking a roast Lamb tea 🙂

Bushwacked – Member

Sat down less drunk and discussed it this morning. Come up with a right good outcome so I'm well chuffed!

Nice one, result

Excellent. Stw in producing a good result shocker 🙂 . Very pleased for you!

Yeah, she's agreed that twice a month I get out for a short ride. Once a month half a day and once a month a whole day 🙂

Means I can ride every weekend but can also plan those away days to places I want to ride with people I want to ride with 🙂

it's the age old dillema….all of us with kids face the same problem and for some reason the older we get we seem to crave the rides all the more, maybe because now we have all the fancy new trail centres and such!! My trick is to ride every where…i.e to work , to the shops, up the local woods and occasionally to the centres. when you add it all up it makes for quite a lot of riding. the good thing is though if you have kids that enjoy riding then maybe you can start to take them along?. i have a new found interest in skate parks and street stuff as my lad has got into it and needs lifts to these places, so while i'm there why not ride a bit,, it's not trail centres with the mates but it's all good fun and i have picked up some really good skills along the way. Have two boys so with a bit of luck i'll have them down the trail centres showing me how it's done in the near future.

Also find her a hobby.

I would say women (as parents) more so than men, don't seek activities that take them away from the family at weekends. It is amusing IMO however; some of the activities that some of them do choose to do instead which are officially not for their benefit but for "the whole family" like trawling round shopping centres etc ("I've bought stuff for you and the kids!") are I suspect perrilously close to hobbies.
I think it's important that individuals still get a chance to do the things that enrich their lives in relationships, but that one shouldn't go too often, that there are things you both do together and that as a guy one is pro-active with cooking and houshold chores and also doing stuff with the kids that everyone enjoys.

Yeah, my wife's hobbies and home furnishings and the family – perhaps in that order….