sucks doesnt it 🙁

I think we should all carry these, in a handy cross draw holster built into the camel back.
a 120rpm, 9mm way of saying “i’m rather annoyed by your actions”

would make the mondeo easier to recognise you see, no other reason obviously

It felt really good,especially the realisation on his burnt scone of a coupon when he realised he was about to be “dealt with” by a large man in Lycra bibshorts.

It’s always funny when that happens. I once had an oldish businessman in a car try to overtake me on a narrow road with a car obviously coming toward us, so I motioned for him to stay behind me and not be so stupid.

He pulled in further on and was obviously looking to jump out and have words. He must have thought at some point – ‘I’m just about to remonstrate with an unknown, younger, fitter, angry cyclist wearing protective gear. I’m not going to come out of this well’. So he pulled off in a hurry. No great drama but it amused me.

A bloke (black but that’s irrelevant!) didn’t like me moving in front of his car whilst queuing for a roundabout – I wasn’t riding just pushing myself along with my feet. He pushed his car into me running over the end of my shoe so I brought my fist down on his car. He jumped out and I rode off through the traffic a bit concerned but assuming he would never catch me.

I’ve also picked up my Inbred and swung it at a guy in a lion taming keep back sort of a way. If people apologize for making a mistake then that’s fine, if they have a go at me then I make a point of not completely wimping out.

I once had a car full of chavs decide it would be funny to spit at me as they drove past me on my road bike. The look of horror on their faces when I caught up with them at the next set of lights and leaned in the car to have a polite word with them was priceless! Much apologies followed. I think they were terrified of getting their arses kicked by a guy in tights!

To add a slightly more positive spin to this, mate of mine was egged about 6 months ago. Police were great, we got a letter wrong on the plate but the description matched on the car and an officer visited them to have words. They spent a fair amount of time chasing it up and weren’t put off by the first bloke who answered the door at the registered address. He claimed not to know the car. Turns out it belonged to his son! This was across police divisional boundaries so not simple.

Ergo, it is always worth reporting this kind of thing to the police if you have some information. Mainly because it’s **** dangerous.

Round my way the chavs have all got those green laser pointer things. Havent had one shone in my face but I have heard of a couple of roadie lads who have been zapped on way home from training rides.

Who are all these people driving around with eggs?
It is kind of worrying that people have such a low opinion of cyclists that we are considered fair game for random violence. Or is it that certain sections of society have very little respect anyone?

I once had a bottle smash on the road beside me. I didnt see anyone around or where it came from so I accelerated thinking that if the trouble is ahead of me it is better to hit it at full speed. It scared the heck out of me

It is kind of worrying that people have such a low opinion of cyclists that we are considered fair game for random violence

In the last fortnight I’ve been spat on and had some fanny run out and attempt some sort of flying kick at me and I’ve been giving this some thought.

I’m 35, 6 foot 1, muscular and fit and devilishly handsome. Before I was a grown-up I used to work on the door of a nightclub in Glasgow. There’s no way on earth the perpetrators of either incident described above would have done what they did had I been walking down the pavement towards them. Nor would they had I been in a car. (well, you never know, some people are mad)

So why when I was cycling?

I’ve come to the conclusion that riding a bike in Britain today marks you out (rightly or wrongly) as a more intelligent person, and as such, unlikely to respond in kind to a random act of boorish thuggery, and this is what gives this kind of person the green light for this kind of thing.

I’m coming round to the philosophical approach – I’m worth a thousand of that sort of person, so why stoop to his level? I can’t think of an outcome that would make it worth my while. Physically injuring the perpetrator might give me some short-term satisfaction, but unless someone is threatening my safety, its never the best reaction. I’d look like the bad guy.

I would love to report such things to the police and at least make them aware, but they already know the streets are full of bams.

All of that said, I used to carry a small mineral water bottle (with the squirty cap) full of milk on my old commute in the summer. Several motorists discovered that the smell of rank milk in the interior of a car in warm weather is not nice.

Few months ago i’m on my way home from the GF’s, its 11pm on a main road. Some prick in a Vulva 740 (Where you find a vulva you will find a ****)throws and egg which smashes on the back of my helmet and proceeds to run down my back.

When i realised what had happened i gave chase but never got close enough to get a reg. Its all just evidence that there is much more than “one born every day”.

So happy i’m not a car driver.

On the other side three riders on their way back from a night ride refused to make any effort to get out of my way on Wednesday as they were riding the wrong way down a one way street towards me!

[/i]Kids always shout at me when I’m on my Brompton

We used to do that too – or shout for our mummies, “mummy, mummy the pedo on the Brompton is watching us at the park again”

MY brother had a egg thrown at him as he left the train station car park, a car pulled out and the passenger in the back throw an egg at him but missed. Shame the drive didn’t have much sense as it seems the car’s a regular in the train car park. So brother two days later went up to the car glued his wipers to his window screen.

Ive had bottles thrown at me too… One time i was out on a country lane, 1/2 full stella bottle was thrown from a really classy corsa with full body kit and comedy massive exhaust, packed with 4 or 5 chavsters, accompanied by shouts of “F*%$KING QUEER” and “POOFTER”. Strange how they presumed i was gay just because i was riding a bike…. Anyway, i flipped the finger (natural reaction). They didnt like that too much, and performed an emergency stop. Passenger gets out, invites me to a 5 on 1 fight situation. Didn’t really fancy that too much, so avoided him, passed the car, flipped the finger again. (Silly) As passenger got in, the driver stalled,car wouldn’t start and i managed to turn off and fly down a footpath, adrenalin flowing!!!
Sorry to ramble, but the moral here is try not to give idiots any reason to retaliate or get out, i.e. finger flippin’, cuz if that car had started, and i hadn’t seen the footpath, i can safely assume violence would have follwed. Some idiots just dont give a ****!

I likey the milk bottle tip..

We used to do that too – or shout for our mummies, “mummy, mummy the pedo on the Brompton is watching us at the park again”

😆

OP. Hope you have recovered from the initial abuse?