Fresh Goods Friday 704 - Jumping the Shark

Welcome to episode 704 of the Freshies, as nobody calls them. Benji is all waffled out, so you can have an opening rant from Hannah instead: I have builders. I don’t mean I have builders in doing work on my house that is disruptive and messy and expensive but will ultimately end up benefitting me in the form of a nice new kitchen, or extra bathroom, or whatever. No. In fact, I have been doing epic amounts of solo DIY, which only serves to add insult to the injury of my current position. ‘I have builders’ should be read in the same sort of terms as ‘I have herpes’ or ‘I have nits’. These are neighbouring builders. On three sides, at one point this week. But the builders on one side in particular are of such disruptive disrespect that I would be reaching for the lawn sausages were it not for the fact that the reason for their presence is the large scale removal of all things green and replacing with patio. I have wondered if perhaps I could lay the patio myself, over the builders. I have a builder/mountainbiker/friend coming soon to do some work that I cannot do. He could probably give up building and deliver builder education and etiquette programs. How Not To Disrespect Women – entry level skills. How Not To Make A Mess – advanced course. Appropriate Conversations For The Public Workplace – Intermediate Level. But I am tempted to get him to set his usual habits aside, in the name of revenge. With the lack of lawn, sausages aren’t an option, so what is the appropriate treatment for acres of hard surfacing?