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FGF POdcast Ep 16 - The Pissing in or out of shorts epsiode
May 23, 2025
Hannah is reviewing shorts that allow you to have a wild wee easily - because it's what we all need to do from time to time and it's important.
This episode is sponsored by Join.cc the personal trainer app that fits in your pocket.
You can try the full subscription for free for 30 days at https://join.cc/singletrack
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It takes everything into account, like your age, your fitness levels, what kind of riding you prefer to do
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and I read a great article on weight training for those of us at a certain age range
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No. Now, we should be picking stuff up and putting it down again, apparently at our age. I do like quite a lot, but it's only small items, such as remote controls
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by heading to join.cc forward slash Singletrack. Something doing
1:59
Hello, welcome to this week's Singletrack World Podcast. I'm Hannah Dobson, managing editor, and..
2:05
I'm Benji Howarth, blinded by the light. And today this is the Romeo and Juliet edition of the podcast
2:13
for those watching on the video. Or what about the, the, somebody in Waldorf, the, uh, the Muppets
2:21
Well, that might be more appropriate to the level of intellect that's about to happen
2:25
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So for those not watching on the video, we are on our balcony outside, on the edge of
2:33
single track towers, uh, because it's quite nice. It's all right. Uh, it's more comfortable like this than it was on the bench of torture last week
2:43
Indeed. So, yeah, here we are. elbows hurt now though yeah so this week's news benji what's this racing wasn't it downhill
2:55
downhill racing mate first one of the year it was a bit wet a bit snowy at the top very very
3:03
top snowy it didn't do any favors for portugal on the tourism front i have to say it was poland
3:08
Oh, Portugal, Poland. Other ones beginning with P. Jeez, Louise. I know, Rob
3:12
I did know it was Poland. I just haven't changed my HRC facts today, so we're aware of the mixed up
3:16
Well, it was... Yeah, it was good last year, wasn't it? The old Poland. It was a bit of a..
3:21
Oh, is that really Poland? And then it looked a bit like Poland this year. Yeah
3:25
So, there we go. So... Did you watch it? I watched it on the replays
3:30
I watched it live. Good. I watched the juniors on YouTube. Yes, I watched that while I was making..
3:38
tea or something, lunch or something. It was good to watch, and good fun racing
3:43
I'd have been quite happy to just watch the Juries and be done, in a way
3:49
Would have been nice to see the last chance qualifier or something. Oh, yes
3:54
Quite exciting as well. So this was the first time there's been
3:58
a last chance qualifier, wasn't it? Yep. So this is the new world order where there's no protected riders
4:05
Correct, yeah. And so they have first round qualification. the top 20 in the men get through yep and then the rest have to go and do another last chance
4:17
qualifying thing i tell you and another 10 get into the men yeah i can't remember the split for
4:24
the women but there's not as many women in the finals anyway so yeah it has gone up previous
4:29
years but yeah uh there we are but uh all the menus of eric there were a lot of people who
4:38
did not get through a lot of big names that did not get through to the finals
4:43
yes good my sympathy was very small for them oh well it was bad for anyone with a fancy downhill
4:51
team that made bad choices. We didn't get to see Reece, Wilson
4:59
Race. That was sad. I don't think he would have been protected though, would he
5:04
No, I don't think he would have. But I would have liked to have seen him in the final segment, and we didn't
5:09
Nope. He was missing. Who else was missing? I don't know. But someone who was there
5:16
was... Jackson nearly missed you, sir. It's the goldstone. Not in there. Anyway, go on
5:22
Joe Breeden was in. Right. And for a minute I thought he had it. Like I thought he was gonna take the win and I was very excited
5:33
I must admit my eyelids got quite heavy because I was watching it in on late not that late at night but late enough for an old middle whatever the word is person And I don think I remember that at all
5:45
Well, I did watch him, but my eyelids got so heavy that I fell asleep
5:49
Yeah. Especially watching it in the afternoon. I'd got up a bit too early. It was a shame, wasn't it? Because the course wasn't like a good wet course
5:56
It was slow. Apart from the last super steep Skechorama that was like four seconds
6:03
It was all just like it was Enduro Porridge chewing, didn't it
6:07
Well, so Enduro Porridge, that reminds us who was in, was Richie Roode
6:13
Yes, he would have been on a podium in previous years, little fella
6:18
Fourth, I think. Yes, fourth. He's got little ol' his message. Like Papa, isn't he
6:24
That was another new thing, was the first three-person podium fella. And the racers didn't protest, unlike the good old XCers
6:32
Cowards. Well, kind of, sort of. Yeah. Unless they had bouncers on this time, they might have been prepared
6:39
Do you know what I mean? They must have, because I can't imagine. I don't know. I saw one of the younger riders doing, like, a jokey Photoshop
6:45
and putting Valley Hall and that in there. Oh, yeah, she was on a podium, but she wouldn't be. She wasn't, yeah
6:50
Sorry. Who did win? Tiny Seagrave. Tiny Seagrave. and i have to say she new bike is looking on form yeah like it's not only has she got a new bike
7:04
which we haven't really seen her like in great detail yet have we but um so it's still got a
7:10
special cover on it isn't it out it's announced in two hours oh is it well you will do by now
7:16
um but yeah she's got the new bike which appears to be functioning well right i think she just
7:22
looks happy like she just seems to be enjoying life um so yeah i feel like touch wood and all
7:31
that i hope this might be tarnie's year um i'm a little bit concerned that valley maybe
7:37
might have another of those where she keeps coming off in the last corner kind of thing like she just
7:42
doesn't quite string it together there's a lot it occurs to me or no it occurs to me well yeah
7:48
but there's 10 races isn't there there's loads it's not like where it's all kind of you know
7:54
what's happened after about 3 it's going to go for a long time
7:58
it's a lot of races and there's no protection so you've got to
8:02
be on it like every every round and you've got to, so Joe Breeden was saying
8:08
that he'd raced his qualifying run as if it was his finals run
8:14
because he thought that was he had to go for it and then
8:18
I think he got in in the Q2 maybe I'm not sure, he made the cut anyway
8:22
but yeah, there's no chilling out and just crossing the line you've got to pin it
8:28
no, I think all the previously protected riders were a bit didn't go quite as hard
8:34
as they probably should have done and they went, oh I didn't qualify oops
8:38
Rosnan and Goldstone and someone else I've forgotten the name of the person who wasn't
8:47
on a factory team, but got into the men's finals. I don't know
8:52
Excuse me. Answers on a postcard, please. Oh, Benji's going to retreat
8:57
Well, I've only got the top... That's all of them, isn't it
9:02
Yeah, that's all of them. There's not that many. Don Platt. That's him
9:08
Yeah. Don Platt. The rest have names, yeah. Yes. So that was good to see
9:14
Don Platt and Corrie. No, no. Yeah, that's good. So yeah, belted purse remains sealed
9:21
No one won on a belt drive just yet. No, she came off
9:25
And then someone's going away. But I don't think that's got the win
9:29
Oh, yeah. So Hattie Harden came off but still got on the podium? No
9:34
Didn't she? No, she was 30 seconds back. Oh, I thought she was on the podium
9:37
Oh, I thought she was flying. Oh, and then the Caped Crusader was running down the track
9:42
Yeah, we think works for Gates. No. Don't we? No, because he stopped winning
9:50
Exactly, exactly. They don't want to give that underground out, do they? Oh, so you don't think it was a Shimano Sramkola
9:54
Not this early in the year. I'm just trying to get rumours going. Yeah, exactly
9:59
Big derailleur steps in. Who knows? Okay. But yeah, she's already crashed
10:05
so the debate about her rerun is tricky because if you gave her a rerun after hitting the deck
10:09
and what, do you lose in a crash? Ten seconds at least? I don't think she's going to win
10:14
I'm going to give her more points I suppose with a tense
10:18
event season what do points make? prizes and I hear a little helicopter or something
10:26
that's a perfect point, it's time for an ad break four helicopters
10:41
he's been in a helicopter no I'm really scared of helicopters I've not been
10:45
in one it's like a recurring dream of one crashing into the power
10:49
lines besides my house sure I was a kid so I've never been very
10:52
keen to go into a helicopter into? I've been near them when
10:58
they take off on mountains and things not here not here kind of
11:03
they are kind of do me actually aren't they like it's usually bad shit happens
11:06
in a helicopter or you're ludicrously rich in which case Or you the T in Terminator 2 Judgment Day That great isn it when he blobs out of the seat when he driving it You drive a helicopter I don know Fly maybe
11:25
Fly. What other news? So, yeah, World Cup. Not a disaster, not amazing either
11:31
Bring on the next one in Ludenville. In a couple of weeks
11:35
Yeah. Well, a week, basically, by the time I'm doing this. Yeah. I think it is, yeah. Okay
11:40
We're good. Polgate! Ooh, et cetera. No one's bothered. Pole gates oh whether whether the course had been marked or people went round the pole
11:49
Anne-Marie repeatedly went outside the marker that was on the on the shoulder of a jump
11:54
they did it all week which might have just been there to show you that a jump was there
11:58
well yeah exactly so what he was like wasn't intentional it needs more tape yeah but it
12:03
means our boy Matt Walker good old Brit obviously the best ever uh did get in so I think track
12:10
We're a bit miffed. Fair enough. Rules is rules. But there isn't tape, is there? No
12:16
Do you think they'll be able to get a tape sponsor? I think it's a very, I wouldn't say tokenistic
12:22
but I just have effort towards sustainability bullet points they can put in
12:26
Well, we use less plastic. We don't use tape. We bend everything, don't we
12:32
Instead, they have It's a Knockout style big foam things everywhere. People whack into
12:38
I think what could you use instead of tape that would be more sustainable like cotton bunting
12:45
and then they'd have to like wind it in make it like
12:49
properly apocalyptic just put like mines at the side oh no that's bad
12:55
there weren't that many crashes actually were there? it wasn't slip and slide
13:01
it was like trudge and grudge there was quite a lot of slip and slide
13:05
in practice yeah Richard Rude was on full wet screen shout out to the old schoolers
13:13
don't see them very much anymore anyway you're so excited about the racing that we've gone back to the racing
13:19
nothing else happened this week in the world of worlds is it? maybe it has
13:23
you got your moustache review up I did yeah, read that if you want
13:29
it's not a review of facial hair it's a gearbox e-bike from france and germany with a opinion yeah m-g-u yeah right i don't think it has a good name
13:45
yep it's kind of in like the german tradition of um engineering naming those it's all numbers
13:52
in letters points it just continues the gearbox tradition of being no not yet again
13:59
there's always something niggling wrong with it maybe you're just pickling I think I'm far
14:06
too used to derailleurs I think that's not I won't I freely admit that
14:10
I think most people are for a little so I don't want
14:14
for a longer time I can unleash it a bit more and work out so I do think you'd probably
14:17
take different lines if you had a gearbox and stuff like that you don't realise
14:22
what you're always thinking about you should be ripping off your derailleur yeah
14:26
bearing in mind how wide you are at the back and stuff
14:30
Which bikes have got a boost, super boost, anything boost, axis rear mechs
14:38
like that wide. See, the back of your bike is that wide now. Until next month
14:47
Oh, before you do anything naughty, let's move on. So, on to product then
14:54
This week, I'm modelling. I'm modelling of this week's well this week's
14:59
product of the week is that slightly creamy funny what colour is that stitching
15:03
is it just in my eyes the text looks a bit silvery champagne-y no white probably
15:11
oh that's better fall out yeah so it says petrichor projects not products
15:17
oh there was quite a lot of petrichor around yesterday when it actually rained did you
15:21
did you have rain a little for about five minutes yeah oh I didn't
15:26
Well, maybe you might have just been, like, making some toast. It lasts very long
15:33
A bit jealous of that. Yeah. So, these are petchcore bib shorts
15:40
Only available for women, these. It's a women's brand. Right. And they have a little cargo pocket inside
15:47
And they also have a little strap at the back that you can unclip
15:52
And then you can lower your pants. which I'm not going to do in public
15:57
so that you can have a wee. And I have been testing a whole bunch of shorts you can pee in
16:05
is how I keep referring to it. But I mean pee out of
16:09
Yes. I mean, you can pee in any shorts. Yeah, yeah. And certainly the pro roadies do, don't they
16:16
What's at the bottom of these? Do they have grippers or are they just fabric? These ones have got lots of little tiny, tiny dimples
16:23
I'm beginning a campaign to ban anything grippy at the bottom of shorts
16:28
Ooh, controversial, because there are those who would definitely disagree with you. I was having this conversation in the pub on Tuesday night
16:36
because I was wearing some other ones, the other bib shorts. What's good about grippers at the bottom
16:42
Well, the other ones I was wearing had very little gripper, but I found really clumsy
16:47
And Rhys, sometimes of this parish, with his monster thighs, was complaining that companies are reducing the amount of sticky stuff that they put on the bottom of their grippers and then that the shorts ride up I don have this problem
17:04
Maybe his thighs are just too voluminous. Ride up what? Ride up your leg
17:10
As you pedal. From there? Yeah, they ride up. Well, that's what..
17:14
No, that's what... Well, I don't know. He says they do. It was grumpy
17:19
Well, fine, I thought there shouldn't be options. I often cut the bottom of lycra shorts off
17:25
You know when you're wearing knee pads and it's the bottom thing? It just pulls them down because they're basically on carrot-shaped limbs
17:32
That's what gripper stuff down there is. Only ever going to go down
17:38
On me. On you. Well, yeah, but you don't have the same thighs as Reese
17:43
I can't imagine. Same power thighs. I probably don't, but where is that
17:46
you would have thought the bottom of the shore is below that musk hole well i guess maybe not
17:54
i don't know anyway anyway whatever this this brings so i'm going to be testing a bunch of
18:00
these shorts that you can pee out of and um doing a bit of a comparison so and it's quite interesting
18:07
when you test a few things the same or sort of meant to be the same at once because you can
18:13
notice lots of little suckities so um and thighs since we're on the topic what yeah so we're on
18:22
the topic i was thinking about this like thighs they used to be like thunder thighs you have no
18:29
idea where i'm going with this people would be like oh i've got thunder thighs and you can
18:32
rebrand thunder thighs as like power and strength and stuff okay um can we rebrand the jelly belly
18:41
in some way. I know it's not a problem for you, but for some of us
18:46
Kind of like the post-apocalyptic survival jelly belly. Or so, say. I feel..
18:54
I've never heard jelly belly. That's a jelly bean dog. Have you never heard jelly belly
18:58
No. Beer belly. Or beer belly. Yeah, whatever. As I put on the bib shorts this morning
19:05
I was like, oh my God, these are not maternity bib shorts, but they possibly look like it on me
19:10
Yeah. Yeah, I need to rebrand the belly. Erm... So... The sustainability squidge
19:20
What could you call it? I don't know. The squidge of sustenance
19:25
Yeah, because it's like slow... I don't know how to think. We'll get back to you on that one. There'll be something there
19:32
So... Yeah. I don't have a beard belly, that's all I've got
19:37
A beard belly? It's a very small one, yeah. so it's particularly pronounced
19:43
Little micro-cad belly. Yeah, well, I think we need to be... There are people who are more overweight than I am
19:54
Sure. Okay. Well, suggestions on a postcard for belly rebranding. Yeah. Positive spin on the belly, please
20:06
Why don't we just call it Who Gives a ? because I need
20:12
I need to be able to feel better about it there you go who gives a
20:17
see it's like a catch all might as well have to bleep this now
20:23
yeah he is or rate it we'll get demonetised or whatever they say
20:27
on the internet right who cares who cares don't even rebranded anything
20:32
it's just another way of drawing attention to it innit do you know what we should have had
20:37
when we're here in the sun we should have had the new single trap book your hats on our heads
20:41
have we got any? well we have got them available to purchase through the single trap world
20:47
oh yes yes we have yeah so next week we can do the Oasis reenactment special
20:53
yes that's fine what do they do with their arms? something like that
20:58
they sway them we need to put them in practice you have to walk like that don't you
21:03
do you have a go force oh beauty into the night kind of a
21:09
Romeo quote. I just like to point out that the wherefore out thou Romeo
21:13
does not mean what you think it does. Go on, give us a fact. It doesn't mean whereabouts
21:19
Wherefore means why. Why are you Romeo is what it actually means. Like questioning
21:25
your entire being. Yeah. Why is Romeo here? What is the Romeo but why? Wherefore
21:32
She's not asking where he is. Why is he the one that is so irresistible
21:39
What is it about Romeo that I can't leave alone? Am I
21:43
There's so many reasons why I should leave him alone Wherefore, wherefore
21:48
Do English literature kids, it's fascinating Okay Go and ask, wherefore art thou in love with thy spouse
22:01
Bye Bye for now Mark's got a waistcoat a flea's waistcoat he has got a flea's waistcoat
22:10
it's a very kind of country park volunteering outfit oh you know
22:21
this is Patagooch Patagooch is fine
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