For a year now I’ve been bemoaning the fact I can’t get all of the travel out of my 57mm stroke shock.

I just found out it’s 40mm…

Anyone ever removed the top, securing circlip from a Reverb without de-pressurising it first?

My advice: don’t. As well as being lethal (it launched the top plunger over the top of the garage), it creates a sort of “roman candle fountain of oil” effect that is both spectacular and takes bloody ages to clear up. Not my finest hour.

Once I poured a small pot of dried peas into my fork lowers, thinking it was suspension fluid.

They felt a bit mushy afterwards…

Once I poured a small pot of dried peas into my fork lowers, thinking it was suspension fluid.

They felt a bit mushy afterwards…

At least this new suspension fluid was better for the environment than fork oil – it being ‘green’ and all.

At least this new suspension fluid was better for the environment than fork oil – it being ‘green’ and all.

I think you’re confusing pro-team and protein.

Ordered two rear shocks online in a closeout deal for a couple of old hack bikes with shocks that were seeping oil and too old for any spare parts. When they arrived I realized the mounting hardware has changed and I’d need new bushes and spacers, so ordered that. Then got busy with work, so it all went in a box until I had some free time. Months later I randomly picked up a shock and fitted it to one of the bikes without bothering to check the length, which was half an inch too short, with less stroke as it turned out. After several rides, I went back online to order a volume spacer kit because the shock was blowing through its travel and bottoming really easily. I figured I might be able to swap spacers from one shock to the other while I was waiting for the spacer kit to arrive, but when I entered the serial numbers online, the penny finally dropped that the shock I’d fitted didn’t match the spec of the one I’d taken off the bike.

Removed 10mm all travel spacer and now ….

I was bleeding my brakes, attached the syringes to both ends all ok, opened the bleed port at the caliper fine. I was then furiously pushing on the plungers to flush the fluid through. I was thinking the syringes were maybe just a bit sticky but I was pushing so hard it started forcing dot fluid out all the connections.

Eventually I realised I’d not released the clip on the syringe fitting that helps purge air from the fluid.

Slight variation, as this relates to several stupid mistakes my (ex)LBS made on a single “Gold Level” service (the one and only time I let them near it):-

1. Re-fitted rear shock upside down so that the air valve was actually touching the underside of the top tube. Luckily I noticed when I came to check the air pressure and couldn’t get the pump on. Had I ridden the bike it would have punched a hole through the frame.

2. Cranks left loose after BB service. Discovered during first ride when it started creaking and then fell apart.

3. New dropper cable cut too short – seat wouldn’t lock in place and there was no adjustment range left. Had to fit another new cable.

That was my one and only experience of “professional” maintenance thinking it would save me a bit of time and hassle!

I once put the outer chainring on a triple on back-to-front. It took me a while to realize what was going on once every crank revolution as the chain got picked up by the small metal stopper post that is meant to sit behind the right crank. D’oh!

Supersonic pistons.

The first time I ever bled brakes I used one of those Hope bleed kits that uses pressure from a tyre to provide a positive flow of fluid. I missed the bit in the instructions which said to only use a tyre with around 25 PSI in it…so when I attached it to the front wheel from my road bike the result was both instantaneous and spectacular, launching the pair of pistons at near superluminal velocities out of the calliper followed by a jet of fluid that coated most of a small room in atomised DOT fluid.

I just stood there in stunned silence looking at the total devastation I’d wrought on both the bike and the room.

Destroyed a set of square taper cranks trying to remove them with an octalink crank tool. Wrecked the tool as well

I couldn’t work out why they were so tight.

I had to cut the crank off in the end…

Snapped the foot nut off a set of Wotans in a moment of haste.

Had to drill it out, and then retap, and then try to find a new but, which I could only find from somewhere in France, who didn’t do anything in English, and my high school French didn’t stretch that far…

when I picked up my retrobike from a tip the bottom bracket was seized. No problem I thought I will put it a vive and then turn the frame. Did it the wrong way and cracked the bb. Took it to a trusted decent local little bikeshop then who amazingly cut it out. Was too embarassed to mention what I had done. All good in the end. Bike shop did a great job and saved the frame.

Another was sent by zocchi off to chain reaction for a service- they said the internal’s were not fitted correctly after I’d reduced the travel. Couldn’t face telling them I’d had it apart.

Once I was convinced that my Vbrake avid lever was bent and set up it with a mallet and vice. It was tough and withstood the blows. Good job as there was nothing wrong with it.

When I had a fixie I put the whole drivetrain on the left hand side. Only noticed when I couldn’t clip into the pedals

Snapped a foot nut off a pair for Fox 36s doing one last 1/8th turn for good luck after a lowers service. An expensive mistake.

Talking of snapping… not realising the torque wrench couldn’t read torques properly on a reverse thread, letting my son tighten the suspension bolt on his new Remedy… then saying “Stop there, that’s tight enough” and him going.. errrk… “bang” goes the bolt! Evening before a ride 🙁
Had to drive a long way to sort that out!

Over the weekend, fitted proper mudguards and was reminded of an earlier attempt. So I fit the mudguards. All seems fine, until riding the bike… now why the hell would mudguards effect the steering? Like, killed the headset bearings?! Steering is strangely stiff… realised that the front guard mount is bolted tightly overlapping the top of the forks and is firmly rubbing against the headtube. So everytime I turn the bars it’s taking paint off the lower bearing and causing stiff steering. Easy to not make that mistake again as the rubbed off paint reminds me every year.

Just invested in a torque wrench to fit a NOS Shimano 105 chainset and bottom bracket to my road bike, having heard horror stories about the V1 Octalink interface coming loose and stripping the splines.

I screwed in the drive side bottom bracket cup by hand with a T-bar until the cup was just about flush with the frame, then set the torque wrench to 45Nm and then attempted to tighten it up. To my horror it just kept going and realised that I must have stripped the BB threads, until I looked down and saw that I’d actually just unscrewed the BB because I’d set the ratchet on the torque wrench in the wrong direction… phew.

Removed 10mm all travel spacer and now ….

Similarly, after servicing my Z1s I put the top out springs on the wrong side of the damper assembly, cue a 10mm travel increase but a rather klunky top out.

Who hasn’t forgotten to remove the washer after extracting the bolt From square taper cranks. With the washer still in place, there is insufficient thread to grip the cranks and they strip. Or so I’ve errrr heard.

Ever failed to tighten a steel axle pedal into an alloy crank. If you have you’ll know the meaning of the word precession. Takes about five miles to learn that lesson.

When trimming a fork steerer, never confuse aheadset and conventional threaded steerers. Get it wrong and no amount of low stack stems will save you. That one is for a friend.

I once put a Phil Woods EBB back the wrong way into the shell after a strip and clean. Screwed the square taper BB and cup into where they fitted without thinking much about it.

Went for a ride, looked down after 5 miles to see the BB and cup had screwed themselves half out of the frame. Took me more than a minute to figure out WTF.

I’d put the oil, lower bolts into miss pj’s forks, torqued them up and was trying to fit the rebound adjuster before I realised I had them on back to front.

Edit – this is still far better than a manufacturer I’d sent my forks back to who sent them back not right about 4 times before the final straw of sending them back with the bolts the wrong way around and the rebound adjuster fallen out, oil pissed out all over the box…

Morning of a ride i fitted sks raceblade longs to my road bike as the weather was looking a bit iffy.

Fitted the front on the back and the back on the front in the workstand, didnt realise untill i was wheeling it out the door and the front wheel was skidding on the guard!

When I had a fixie I put the whole drivetrain on the left hand side. Only noticed when I couldn’t clip into the pedals

Not if you face the right way…

With Shimanho SPDs you might be able to fit the outer bits onto the “wrong” spindle and get a working left hand chain bike? Then you could test the theories about why left hand threads are needed on left hand pedals. Assuming rim brakes.

Replaced leaky rear caliper yesterday afternoon. This went so well I enthusiastically set about phase 2, the flush and bleed. The caliper end first and all looking good. Pushing back the other way to the lever syringe, rather than the sludgy gunk i have seen before, it looked a bit foamy.

It was at this point I spotted the 1 litre pot of brake fluid on the workbench, where I positioned it at the start of the job, and the 5 litre pot of muc off on the drive where I had filled the syringe. What a nob!

Attempted to bleed a reverb whilst it was dropped and no way we could press the plunger in the syringe, some head scratching and discussion later we decided to press the lever and try to press the syringe to be met with a spray of fluid at high pressure. My mate was covered in it I can still see the outline of him on our wall.
Don’t try bike maintenance after the pub…..

spinning the front wheel and then sticking my finger through the disc rotor whilst inspecting the pads was a pretty stupid thing to do! Blood everywhere!

was both instantaneous and spectacular, launching the pair of pistons at near superluminal velocities

As was my reaction…..

Brilliant

I knew a pressfit BB sleeve would be a tight fit, so I kept on pressing it in.

Little did I realise, a 2015 CAADX has a ridge inside the BB shell which prevents it going all the way through

I had to strip the frame and take it to work to get the shell pressed out, also had the offending ridge removed, before fitting a Praxxis conversion

Nipped out to the garage to change the cable on a lockout remote, should be a ten minute job at most, so obviously I took the cover off the remote then watched as a tiny spring launched itself towards the open door into the shadows. Took an hour on my hands and knees in the rain with a bike light to find it.

Heard that a 2p coin could be used to help press bearings into a freehub. It worked, but as I’d removed the cassette already I then had a (very well seated) bearing and a 2p piece held in nice and tight by the lockring, and nothing to attach a chain whip to in order to loosen the lockring off.

Ended up with mole grips clamped between my thighs to hold the freehub (protected by an old t-shirt) while I put my bodyweight on a ring spanner to loosen it off.

This was at 4am before my annual big bike ride with the brother, we left at 7am still smelling of WD40 – all of our rides seem to start with an all-night maintenance bash…

Ran my 15mm axled front wheel with 12mm for a while …
I hate to think what might have happened…

Who hasn’t forgotten to remove the washer after extracting the bolt From square taper cranks. With the washer still in place, there is insufficient thread to grip the cranks and they strip. Or so I’ve errrr heard.

I did this, but incredibly didn’t strip the threads out of the crank. Doubly impressive as I was standing on the spanner on the tool to try to get it to budge.

Fitting new set of wheels to the MTB, on the Hope Pro 4 rear hub on the set being removed, you would remove the push fit end cap on the cassette side to fit or remove the cassette.

Repeated this on the new DT Swiss rear hub on the newer wheels and fitted the cassette to then have an end cap which wouldn’t fit, spent 40 to 60 mins googling, watching youtube videos and swearing thinking I might have the wrong end cap to then realise that maybe I should fit it before the cassette… turns out it was this, very stressful 40-60 mins thinking having to order new end caps as they aren’t cheap and then weren’t in stock anywhere!

Servicing some forks just now. Thought I’d just pop the top off the air side before I had a quick coffee then I’d be ready to get busy afterwards.

I can tell you that undoing the cap with 100psi behind it is quite exciting!! Maybe I should have let the air out first!!!

Now sitting here drinking my coffee waiting for my ears to stop ringing…

Snapped the footnut of a set of bombers through over enthusiastic use of a nutgun.

There’s also a missing 3/8 socket in my toolset and one permanently wedged inside the steerer tube of a trek superfly. Hope the new owner never has to replace the starnut….

Today, luckily on an uphill rather than a speedy down, my rear axle came out.

Presumably because I’d failed to screw it in properly. What an idiot – that’s a 10/10 stupid maintenance mistake I reckon.