Your most pathetic crashes…
In les Arc had a great day not coming off once, came down the last trail onto the tarmac about 300 yards from the chalet – road works, with those 2 meter intermittent plastic barriers, i was one side then ducked through a gap, handlebar and finger caught the edge of the barrier sending me into a sprawling heap in the middle of the road, grazed back badly bruised fingers, no more riding!
more shamefulPosted 4 years ago
Yesterday, managed to fly down a DH section of trail and then started to peddle over a dam to the next section, rails on either side of the 1.5mtr wide path.Posted 4 years ago
All going well with the adrenaline started to fade when I looked to my right hand and noticed a spiders web dangling in the breeze, and a whooping big spider (reality, maybe an inch across) desperately clawing its way up the web to my hand.
I panicked, waved my right hand about to try and break the web and then promptly hit the railing with my left side of the handlebar and went toppling over.
As I lay on the floor bloodied and buried I noticed the spider causally walk past my head and drop down the dam wall.
I’ve done a bearnecessities on a towpath. Lifted the front wheel up a little step, stalled, failed to get my foot out and toppled sideways over the little wall next to me. Dropped 12 feet onto my back and lay there bewildered and winded while my 11 year old son thought I was dead. Rode the two miles back to the car ona bike with a bent saddle, drove home and was persuaded by the missus to go to casualty. Two crushed thoracic vertebrae. Thank the lord for hydration packs.Posted 4 years ago
My mate regularly reminds his daughter of this one. As you leave Cannock Chase car park heading out onto FTD through the GoApe ropes courses, there a sign on a tree under a zip wire that says: Dont look at the zip wire. He was directly behind her, saw her read the sign, saw her look up and watch the zip wire, till she is lookiing backwatds and crash straight into a very large tree most people manage to avoid. Split her lip right open. Blood. Tears. Muffled laughter.Posted 4 years ago
Couple of weeks ago on the road bike. Guy had sat on my wheel for 4 miles including up a big hill then passed me on the descent. I decided to drop him so after following down the hill I attacked on the next rise.Posted 4 years ago
Got to a corner within 50m of passing him, front wheel went out from under me and I went down like a sack of spuds.
He stopped to see if I was ok and said “I always back right off for that corner, it’s claimed too many of my riding mates”…
I had to pretend I was fine so he would leave me to straighten my bars and saddle & pick the grit out of my hip & elbow.
Trashed my brand new jacket too.
Set off for a ride to try to get me more comfortable on a bike I hadn’t really taken to. Bars wider than I was used to. The entrance to the trail was a hundred metres or so further down the road from where we’d parked.
Set off, took an arm off the bars to indicate the right turn while looking behind me, yanked the other end of the bar more than I’d intended and tipped myself into the road. Very sore ribs for a few weeks after that one…Posted 4 years ago
Crossed a stream too slowly. Bike level, front wheel halfway up the far bank, back wheel halfway down the near bank, feet dangling above the water as I came to a stop…
Crossed a ford that was signed “Don’t cycle across, slippery surface” or similar, I did and it wasPosted 4 years ago
Glad its just not been me on that dammed tricky gnarly leeds – Liverpool canal Toepath – riding along thought someone behind me looked over my shoulder – and the bars caught a tree – down I went – not in the canal – but I heard a distinctive “plop” checked rucksack – sh*t car keys!
Picture me lying as close to the canal as possible with one arm in the canal fishing for my car/ house keys – and miraculously i found them!
Rode all the way home with one arm bloody freezing ……. Kids and wife laughed alot……Posted 4 years ago
On a shoot for Grit.Cx I was standing, one foot on the floor, one foot clipped in. One moment I’m talking to the photographer, the next I am hugging a tree and the photographer is laughing. I have no idea how it happened. Does it even count as a crash if one foot is already on the ground?Posted 4 years ago
Summers day outside a very busy Cannock Chase cafe after a ride, I had a “clipless moment” getting onto my bike and toppled over. Very pathetic and a tad embarrassing 😳Posted 4 years ago
My last pathetic one was both embarrasing and painful.
Riding down lower cliff at Cannock for the first time after it was deforrested. On the bottom third, came to a family that really shouldn’t have been there. They were walking down the trail and didn’t think to move over (another story), so I followed them to the bottom and just enjoyed the view.
Decided to have another go and enjoy the last bit. Got to the same point I met them the first time and looked over to see them all stood by the exit watching chaps come down.
Shortly after I sat down for a breather and failed to notice the small hump that proceeded to launch me into a comedy front wheel balancing act before spitting me off superman style.
Also managed to hit my head on a rock, crack my helment, wind myself and suffer a seperated shoulder. They had gone by the time I got to the bottom but, I can picture the laughter and comments if they’d seen me crash.Posted 4 years ago
2 weeks ago at Thetford. Perfect trackstand for a minute or so while waiting for Katie to catch up. Went to move off, caught end of (newly fitted, longer) bars in leg of shorts, OTB into big muddy puddle.
Still can’t work out how – I can’t seem to get the two anywhere near each other when I consciously try.Posted 4 years ago
First ride out on new bike after a couple of years not riding at all.
Ride without incident to the first bit of single-track which is very easy roll-in and let out a let out a whoop and a little shout of ‘I’m back’. Front wheel gets hooked up in the smallest rut possible at the top and I’m OTB and cartwheeling down, laughing at the fact that I’ve crashed within 3 seconds of my return to mountain biking. What a dick.
Actually as I’ve been typing this whilst sat in the back garden, one of our cats has just attempted to walk along a sloping roof, slipped off and fallen into bucket full of dirty water below. It must be catchingPosted 4 years ago
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