Can any STW poetry enthusiasts help me decipher the meaning of this spam e-mail I’ve just received?

Subject: Your chickens Sandwiched, I help you guard

“Dear Carrying clip tail dog,

I am a person who will understand the meaning of the master and stick to the work,
I know that only survival can make the work longer,
So I will find some people and things of life value,
As my own learning and absorption of the goal,
But I can not let them know that I am doing the work of growing new teeth on dead wood,
I can only start with their lives,
Help others understand the meaning of life,
Also helped myself more have similar experience with basic instructions,
for Construction my own career lay basic,
Since then life worry-free.

Best Regards
Jane”

Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra

Viagra?

I think you need the STW resident poet.

Gisajob?

Yours insincerely,

Rob.

From what I gather they’re a Chinese mould making company who also dabble in telephone equipment..

That’s fowl use of language. Will they work for poultry wages too? IGMC

I love the “growing new teeth on dead wood” bit. Might use that in my next meeting.

Is that what is meant by ‘gnomic’? It certainly has a charming sort of random meaninglessness, like it’s been run backwards and forwards through Google Translate half a dozen times.
Yeah:
Gnomic
ADJECTIVE

1 Expressed in or of the nature of short, pithy maxims or aphorisms.
‘that most gnomic form, the aphorism’
More example sentencesSynonyms
1.1 Difficult to understand because enigmatic or ambiguous.
‘I had to have the gnomic response interpreted for me’

Covfefe  🙂

That brought a tear to my eye. Oh, my mistake, I’ve just been bitten by a plank of 2” walnut