My heroes for ghosts
Hot ashes for trees
Hot air for a cool breeze
Cold comfort for change

But my best was probably swapping a shagged out CBR600 Sport for a much newer and more expensive 600F. I told the shop i wouldn’t tell the police of their highly dubious activities if they did a straight swap. They agreed 😀

£1500 = brand new nukeproof mega AM 2012 + nukeproof critical armour + free delivery 😆

a couple of 1 MB SIMMs for a kebab burner.
Not the best but probably the most pointless

I once asked in a shop for fork handles and I ended up walking out with four candles.

#sorry

Phoned up Guinness and offered them ‘sponsorship’ of student sailing team racing event in Liverpool in 1994.
= two casks, a dozen slabs of cans, a banner, loan of pump and coolerdooferthing and some more casks ‘purloined’ from the truck by colleagues as I signed for the delivery.
8)

5k off a house, because the owner had failed to present a list of furniture within a reasonable length of time. The furniture was worth about 300, and he still sold the house fully furnished 😉

Also had an ongoing dealer with the Burrows Hill cider bus (the one that goes to Glastonbury) for Burritos for hot and spicy cider, mutually beneficial deal for the 3 seasons I did running the wagon kitchen 😀