I also know I’m a bit of a roadie because the wine rack is full of bike bottles!

Yeah… real cool…

Jealousy isnt cool.

Some people just have the “gnar factor” – they can wear Sombrio clothing and get away with it

When ‘going for a walk’ involves a bow saw and 2 hours of dead tree clearance.

…you won’t ride anything other than 26” wheels.

Yup, hard as nails that! 😆

When you come across some tech fest and get so excited you make chimp noises! 😆

Jeezus !

I wish I was a REAL Man !
Then I wouldn’t have had to nip off 22 Years in the Army getting pissed and gobbing off thinking ? I could be riding now not getting shot at and blown up !

Oh sorry where were we, Yes ! You know your a real MTBer when you can fool yourself into thinking that you really are that bloke you pretend to be on the Internet 18 hours a day ! EVERY Day !
Its compulsory to hate any one who can afford a Bacon Butty after filling up their Audi A6,
And become a hater of any one who dare stray from the boundary of the yokel village to ride, then realising that little red riding hood was a story to refrain narrow minded in breds from wandering into adjacent Parishes and diluting the gene pool !

Pinocchio !

When you come back from a ride that challenged you despite only containing 2 ft drop offs and you can still laugh at egotistical bellends who seem to think they actually have a clue about the true essence of mountain biking.

…….. the hours spent not on the bike are spent wanting to be on the bike.

This. +1

…you love mountain bikes, but hate ‘mountain bikers’. 😉

self censored

When your on a long distance flight but instead of sleep or the on-board movie your looking at the mountain ranges below thinking of lines to take.

when “Singletrackworld.com” “Pinkbike.com” “Chainreactioncycles.com” are the only things you can touch-type 🙄

davidtaylforth – Member –
There should be two separate genres: mountain biking and trail centre cycling.

nice, I tend to think there is 2 types, one for the pretentious ****’s/snobs and one for those who enjoy themselves.

you know your a mountain biker when?
no idea but sticking with the bike leaving the tarmac.

You steadfastly refuse to admit that training on the road is any use to you despite the fact that you haven’t got any faster in the last ten years 😀 😉 🙂 😉

You know what tyres to use. 🙄

You know you are a mountain biker when………..

you ditch the 26″

You lot have got some right funny attitude about riding a bike in the woods.

When you’re eagerly waiting for winter because it’s more interesting then…

I think it’s frustrating that the true hard men of mountain biking, who get up at 6:30 on a sunday to drive 4 hours to the lakes to then spend another 2 hours pushing up the Walna Scar road before they even get to ride their bikes that cost them 2 months wages get mentioned in the same sentence as those that get up late, drive to llangdegla and spend an afternoon walking round the black route and eating bacon butties in the cafe.

You get up at 6.30 and drive for 4 hours?! You are indeed a hard man and a true mountain biker. I doth my cap.

You have your own mountain bike web site and Facebook page and spend more time on the internet than on your bike!

…your shins bear the scars

And you wear them with pride like medals

vickypea – Member

When your kitchen permanently has muddy camelbaks hanging on a hook, lights charging next to the cooker, a set of Allen keys on top of the microwave, 2 pairs of muddy MTB shoes lurking under the table, and punctured inner tubes slung across the back of the chairs

Are you single? fancy a drink getting dirty……

vickypea – Member

When your kitchen permanently has muddy camelbaks hanging on a hook, lights charging next to the cooker, a set of Allen keys on top of the microwave, 2 pairs of muddy MTB shoes lurking under the table, and punctured inner tubes slung across the back of the chairs

Are you single me?

Sate here working, wearing Troy Lee DH pants, with a newly trues wheel resting against my desk, 8 new pairs of brake pads just arrived piled beside the PC, with most of the week in my diary labelled as “Out Of Office” so I can go DHing.

You know you are a mountain biker when…..

.You come to the end of your ride due to time constraints and feel sad but elated because you’ve only done 20 odd miles and no-where physically exhausted.

.You waste time (by whizzing from side to side on the track or trying to pull wheelies or similar) or ride slowly when coming to the end of your ride, almost grieving because it’s been such a great ride but now it’s over.

When you go for a “quick ride to clear your head” the morning before a job interview, end up getting carried away and next time you check the time it’s 2 hours after the interview time 😳 I do think not going to that interview was one of the main contributing factors to me only getting to stay in Whistler for a few months rather than the planned year, as I didn’t get many other interviews – those I did manage to turn up to I didn’t have enough experience for!

tbh I don’t think I’d really call myself a “mountain biker” any more as I very very rarely ride anything that would be considered a mountain. More like oversized bmx tracks which are too rough for a bmx to be much fun. Even a full sus is over kill but I don’t like the unbalanced feel of hardtails any more.

When you spend £1200 on a frame you don’t need!,

The flat places in the world are totally dead to you.

When you agonize over how to pronounce any of the following…

EssRam,
Bontragger
Comenkal
Skwommish
Lez Getts

..And still come to the wrong conclusion.

Apparently knowing how every tyre combination feels for every trail condition and every season makes you a mountain biker! Degla gets a dogging on here but I reckon its good fun hitting those jumps every now and again I suppose if you can’t jump its a bit crap, as for hard men riding Walna Scar go check out Ben A’an that’s where real men ride I tried couldn’t manage it all respect to anyone who can!

Llandegla jumps aren’t really very good jumps, they’re more like weirdly designed/laid out lumps that are a bit too easy to overshoot.

When you ride as often as you can, but notice you’ve been a bit “slack”, because you have enough shorts and other kit for four or five rides starting with clean kit, but do the washing once its all been used in one hit and the stench of the pile of muddy kit even overwhelms you, let alone the wife and the cat.

then spend another 2 hours most of the day pushing

ftfy

Do I qualify? I like natural trails and trail centres too.

Also my contribution. … You’re miles away from civilisation and you think “nice view let’s find a rock to stand my bike on so I can include it in the picture!”

Awesome pictures!

yesterday I went to investigate some woodland near the M6 between junc 15 & 16 just because whenever I drive past it I wonder if there’s any track worth cycling there. I went all the way there and there was but mostly just overgrown fireroad which runs parallel with the m-way for about 3 miles so had some fun bombing up n down that.

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IMG_1161 by 100%of thetime60%ofthetime, on Flickr[/img]

You see this in the park and wonder if Tim is still a postie..

When you don’t recognise somebody who introduces themselves as a regular riding buddy from many years back, until 10 minutes into the conversation his wife mentions his Chas Roberts, and you instantly realise who he is 😳

You know you’re a mountain biker when…

You read end someone approaching a roundabout coming off a dual carriageway in your car because you was busy looking at what bikes those 2 blokes were riding!