Following on from the ‘I’d like this as my nickname’ thread…
You very rarely get to choose a nickname so what’s the best/most apt you’ve been given?

I used to work for a major Japanese machine tool manufacturer and, not long after I started, did a charity fashion show at a big ball (free booze, transport etc so well worth it). Once the major p-staker found out I was lovingly nicknamed ‘Naomi’ after Naomi Campbell..

What’s yours?

My favourite was ‘the fruitbat’ currently ‘polarbear’

I’ve always been larger than average and got coined with the nickname of Billy Bunter at the age of 10.
It stuck so much that people even now think that my name is bill or billy
Even the wife calls me by it.
I’m now 33 🙄

Bagpuss & Shaggy

Bullheart

Hoover

Roy boy toy boy joy boy!

Basically anything that rhymes with Roy 😕

Mop.

Although these days I tend to go to the hairdressers for a polish rather than a hair cut so it’s probably lost its relevance…

F.A.B!

My initials are AB and the F doesn’t stand for thin!!

Roy boy toy boy joy boy!

I reckon that’s your gay bar name really.

‘twatface’

i had *just* started work at Stocksbridge Billet Mill, first 5 mins of my first morning.

Geoff shouted at me ,

“ere, twatface – git fookin’ kettle on an Mash, yer Basterd”

and it stuck.

happy days! 🙂

I used to work in a ‘hazardous’ development lab which had everything you could need to fix any electrical appliance. The lab became known as the surgery and predictably, I was ‘The Doctor’

I did have a nickname of “The Captain” as I’m famed for being super-organised.

My wife used to call me “Page” – as in Page the Oracle – on account of my great wisdom.

Flipper in one factory because of my size 14 feet!

On a biking trip to Interlaken a few years ago I became known as ‘Mr Clean’ as I didn’t fall off and managed to find the best routes through stuff.
One of the others became ‘Crash Bandicoot’ because he fell off – a lot!

Captain Caveman. Not entirely sure why but possibly as the public school was full of brighter people than me….

Er, Lumpy. 😳

I liked my nickname at university which seems to have died now.

I moved into a flat with another guy with the same 1st name, he was there 1st, so I had to have a nickname.

I am from GRIMSBY (yeah I know). So they started calling my haddock for a while (so funny), luckily this evolved to Haddook, and eventually Dook (or Duke) which I quite liked.

^ – ‘ed’*

There is no such thing as too much food.

*ed was added as I lost access to my original account, since regained but fear the rath of the mods if I use it…

Lord Tubbington by my stepdaughters.

Dearest Leader.

p/s: this is above Dear Leader and maggots.

I’ve had loads.

When I was a baby I had a blue baby grow with a white hood, so the first I had was “smurf”.

When I was a little older if asked what I wanted to eat I’d always ask for sausages, apart from I called them porkywalkies, so got the nickname “Porky”.

As a teenager my older brother was tiny, so he was nicknamed “maggot” among his mates I got called “worm” as they thought it went together.

Playing football once my mates were calling me by my surname with a y on the end, some lads who we didn’t know were playing thought my mates were calling me “boney”, so that stuck for a bit.

Like Stevied, one season I played centre forward for a crap team who had a white kit, didn’t get much action and stayed clean so started to get referred to as “Persil” as I was whiter than white.

At university my flatmates thought I was a Londoner (southerner in with a bunch of northerners), I also had a dodgy laugh, so my mates called me “Boycie”.

I don’t really have a nickname any more though!

the yank at work calls me j-dog. I call him white settler

In my late teens I was called ‘Hormone’ as I’d go after anything with tits (not with any degree of success mind!) and was driven by hormones.

Gliding, over the radio I was called Brat, still not sure why.

Err, Lady Gresley, or simply m’Lady 😀

“Mort” – short for Morticia. I got that at work a lot, until I had my hair cut.

Also “Evil Evil Grumpy One” – from all my lovely friends…. 🙂

I seem to have recently been christened Baldilocks by my mates little lad

Bugsy Malone at school.
BigBadBob at college.
’im wi’ ’air at work: I had longish bobbed hair.
Bert at work too, apparently Robert was too long and Rob was too short…
Now I live in Scotland, ‘Big yin’ seems to be quite popular these days.

For some reason I keep getting called “Rambo Junior” or just “Junior”. Which is bollocks really as I am in no way related to the chap that keeps getting called Rambo.

Other than that, the other one seems to be “Lanky”