Today’s moral maze question:

Suppose you had a friend who is a single lady who wants to have a kid before the biological clock ticks out, but who doesn’t have a partner. Suppose she asked you to donate your goodies for a IVF procedure – what would you say?

Suppose you said “yes”, and the procedure was successful, how would you feel about seeing her with your kid? Could you detach yourself from that?

Depends on the delivery.

No no and no

You will be the father for legal purposes, you will have to support the child, its a moral nightmare

No, for legal reasons.

Nope would never give mine up to anyone… but only since having my own kid. As a man I really didnt think your child had much to do with you, but there are so many bits of my son that are like me that I certainly wouldnt now.

Besides I’m not that keen on IVF.

I would, no problem at all

I have had a vasectomy though 🙂

Pics of lady friend before i decide

I would and did. Unfortunately it wasn’t successful, and she could only afford the one attempt.

I’m not that keen on IVF

Why not?

Why is she having IVF – does she have fertility difficulties as well or is she simply going for the turkey baster ?

no.

I would and did. Unfortunately it wasn’t successful, and she could only afford the one attempt.

What price a gigolo? 😉

and she could only afford the one attempt

Are you a high class gigolo then?

You will be the father for legal purposes

For this reason, no. Don’t relish the idea of being chased by the CSA for something you did as a favour for someone.

linky

too slow hairy

not a chance ….

id donate under anonimity for couples who cant have any …. but not to a friend and id never want to hear about the kid either – to much emotional involvement to a friend – a father is he who raises imo …. has much more of an impact on you than your genes imo …. but thats just my view – some folk would see that as a dickish attitude ….

Damn you Stoner, damn you!

why use ivf? 😆

joking aside, I don’t know. it’s one of those situations life will throw at us that, in all honesty no one knows what they would do until they are in that situation.

I could agree with TJ re: no, no & no….but thinking about it more…if it was one of my very close female friends, I would certainly discuss it, not just blow the idea out of the water straight away.

Good luck with whatever you decide and I hope your friend the very best of luck.

Stoner – Member
too slow hairy

Does that put the price up or down? 😕

Does IVF increase chances over a normal bonk?

If not Shirley any good female friend would be going the latter route?

Depends on the delivery.

+1

Pretty sure I couldn’t detach myself from the kid. Have had two in the normal way, knowing there was another out there somewhere would melt my brain.

Mates went through IVF for 8 years. It was hell. Of all the testing and strain on the couple it damn near split them apart (they did seperate at one point). Utter chaos. However once they stopped trying… et voila!! little Johnny was born.. and they went on to have a second.

Though have to say little Johnny is a right royal PITA.

You will be the father for legal purposes, you will have to support the child, its a moral nightmare

Not if you donate sperm through a fertility clinic for IVF surely? In the same way as any other sperm donor is not the legal father – they don’t have a right to anonymity any more, but there is no way you can claim child support etc. off sperm donors.

There has to be some way in law that deals with this for fertility clinics in particular, as opposed to for sperm donation outside a medical setting.

and she could only afford the one attempt
Are you a high class gigolo then?

Have you seen how much the clinics charge? She had fertility problems, and, as it turned out, so did I, which came as something of a shock, as you might imagine. I did suggest a couple of natural attempts, just see what happens, but, while we’re close, we’re not that close.
Shame, and I wouldn’t have charged, either… 😉

Pics of lady friend before i decide

😆

In the wise words of Jamiroquai.

‘And now every mother, can choose the colour
Of her child
That’s not nature’s way’

I would under certain circumstances..

Interesting thread and my answer would be no as I would want involvement with the child and it could get very messy…

… But it does make me think about the link between sperm quality and cycling, is this a myth or is there any factual evidence anywhere?

decided my original comment was not funny…

I know a woman who tried artificial insemination through a clinic…she was getting older and desperate for kids.

Don’t think I’d offer to lend her some of mine for reasons all ready stated.

You will be the father for legal purposes, you will have to support the child, its a moral nightmare

In the same way as any other sperm donor is not the legal father – they don’t have a right to anonymity any more, but there is no way you can claim child support etc. off sperm donors.

This is true, my wife used to work in a fertility clinic and while kids can if they want, find out who their “donation father” is, they cannot go round with the “your my dad and you owe me for 15 missed bithdays and christmas’s” line.

As for helping out a friend, you could be left to payout unless contract is in place. But friends of both of yours would know if the baby pops out and looks like you. Plus you’d just have to sit back and let her get on with how she wants to bring it up.

Or would you want to play friendly uncle Dr J who just happens to buy the kid the most expensive bithday gifts ever…….but no one can work out why….

… But it does make me think about the link between sperm quality and cycling, is this a myth or is there any factual evidence anywhere?

good topic deviation 😀

Depends on what they wanted to do with my fanmat I suppose. I have no ideological problem with someone doing a Cameron Diaz, but if I have to fork out for it some way down the line then the answer is an emphatic “no”.

And yes, I have twice been asked if I want to be a donor before…

If she wants to scrape it off her face its up to her what she does with it afterwards. 😯 😉

Possession is 9/10th of the law after all. 😆

kids can if they want, find out who their “donation father” is

That still worries me that even under those circumstances (via a fertility clinic) you’re not anonymous. If they are allowed to do that, then what stops the CSA from persuing you?

they don’t have a right to anonymity any more

Didn’t they use to have and the law was changed and applied retrospectively?

but there is no way you can claim child support etc. off sperm donors

As above, I’d be concerned about possible future legislation

jon, think its all in the contract that you take out with the clinic. From what Mrs skip has told me, if your profile sound good, you may be popular and end up fathering more than one child. One may go to a rich couple and the other a poor couple.

As you have no choice in who has your swimmers, its also right that they have no background about you ie how much cash you’ve got. Poor couple want sperm from the richest man there so they can come begging later in life? Not going to happen.

Its not like you can say to the clinic “i want to donate some sperm but i only want it to go to rich people”, so you can go begging to your kid when times are hard.

The child can when they hit a certain age can find out who their dad is but they have no financial come back.

I also think the law changed in that you are not donating sperm for cash anymore either, more of an act of kindness to people who cannot have kids. Mrs skip is currently doing her dissertation on this topic so i get to hear all about this when i go home

only when they are asleep..

Didn’t they use to have and the law was changed and applied retrospectively?

No, it wasn’t retrospective.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4397249.stm

Didn’t they use to have and the law was changed and applied retrospectively?

Annonimity was removed but it wan’t applied retrospectively. I’m not sure that laws in the UK can be applied retrosepctively. The law still prevents any financial responsibilities provided it is done through an fertility centre.