Hiya.

Trainee Nursing Associate on my first placement at a busy Children’s and Families Centre.

Been working with the Health Visitors, Nursery Nurses and School Nurses this week, everything from antenatal appointments, 8 week/8 month health checks,  pre school clinics and home/school visits with older children and families.

Love it, immensely rewarding and positive work, excellent management, great colleagues.

A huge contrast with my base placement, which let’s just say is massively different.

I’m the only bloke in the unit. They have had one male HV, but currently it’s just women.

Would you be happy with a male in this role? Would you feel you could be as open and honest as you would with a female? Would you feel uncomfortable?

It’s something I’d definitely consider once qualified, but would be interested to hear the views of parents.

Thanks in advance.

Yeah, why not.  Not sure how I’d feel about antenatal appointments though, is it sexist to prefer a woman?

As CG, yes, why not? I can see how it might get harder when it gets to the business end of things, and I can fully understand why a woman might only want a woman at that stage. For everything else, hell yes! Not least because, as a chap, there wasn’t anything in the HV set up before our two arrived that even acknowledged I existed.

By way of illustration on the technicalities,  I know an awful lot about bra fitting (Mrs CFH has rather specific needs) but I cannot imagine a situation where, even with all the training in the world, Rigby & Peller would give me a job fitting bras! It’s not even slightly sexist to prefer a woman in certain situations!

Well in medicine I’ve shown my junk to dudes and ladies, depends on your ideas really.

We always ask before I’m introduced to the parents and children, and there’s no pressure for the parents to say yes.

But they absolutely have a choice and I don’t think it’s at all sexist for people to prefer a female.

Well in medicine I’ve shown my junk to dudes and ladies, depends on your ideas really.

🙂 Me too Mike.

Personally, I’m happy to receive advice on male specific medical issues from a female health professional but I understand that this is very different.

I’m just after an idea of how people would feel about it.

Yeah, why not. Not sure how I’d feel about antenatal appointments though, is it sexist to prefer a woman?

Probably not, just personal preference. I prefer female doctors for that sort of thing but have no idea why.

Rusty – I personally couldn’t care so long as you were doing your job. The thing about all the pregnancy stuff is to make sure you pass on the relevant info (which our HV did) so that everyone has the support they need. And to reassure folk, that’s a biggie. All the best to you though!

Really, it’s nothing to do with gender and all to do with the right type of personality and people skills.  I can see no reason to feel uncomfortable or reluctant to share.  Definitely wouldn’t want to discuss pregnancy-related issues with a male especially a first pregnancy where anxiety and nervousness is inevitably high coupled with weird things happening to a woman’s body that one might not want to share.

As a matter of interest, do male midwives exist?

Yes, 100%, no issues. Was stay at home dad for my kids, so did all the appointments etc, sometimes I got some odd reactions though,

As a matter of interest, do male midwives exist?

Yup, not a huge proportion, but quite a few about.

Definitely wouldn’t want to discuss pregnancy-related issues with a male especially a first pregnancy where anxiety and nervousness is inevitably high coupled with weird things happening to a woman’s body that one might not want to share.

Thanks, CG, that’s very helpful and I totally understand.

We have female Health Visitors who don’t have kids, so have the same experience of breastfeeding and childbirth as I do. 🙂 It’s just not quite as obvious. ☺

Thanks for all your responses.

For our first born we had a male midwife. He was great no problem for us. I know some midwife’s, who are female, with no kids so he had/has the same experience as them.

Yep.

No one bats an eyelid at a male gynecologist and that’s far more personal.

It’s not eyelids they’re looking at…

Our second child was delivered by the midwife said midwife happened to be male, horror of all horrors. I’ve delivered 5 babies and can tell you that when it gets to the pushing stage woman don’t give a shit.

As for antenatal, it’s 2018 not 1970 again women don’t care they’ll happily talk about any issues with a medical professional.

We had a male Health Visitor with our second.

My wife didn’t like him but that was based primarily on his scraggly ginger beard and his rather ‘wet’ personality I think more than his actual gender.

You should ask this on mumsnet. Make sure you post a link if you do…

Just make sure that Elon Musk isn’t one of the dads and that you have a difference of opinion.

lol

I’ve not had a baby but I can understand why many people would prefer to have a female doctor or midwife during their pregnancy. I think it’s about empathy – if you have fears or concerns your natural  instinct might tell you that a female doctor might relate to it a bit more. Like Drac says though, during delivery you wouldn’t give a shit and it’d be interesting to see which gender consultant people would prefer if things started to get really tricky during a difficult labour. Would some people prefer a ‘no nonsense male’? It’s fascinating stuff!

We are never going to get equality in the workplace without men also doing traditional “womens” jobs. Just tell them your a feminist if they moan!!

I’d be more than happy with a male health visitor or school nurse. If you think it’s the right field for you then go for it.

when it gets to the pushing stage woman don’t give a shit.

Well sometimes they do… 😉

Our health visitor is a guy for our first sprog. To be honest I found it much easier talking to him about struggling with our daughter than talking to the lady HV.

One of the midwives at our seconds birth was a man. No issues with that either.

They are both healthcare professionals. Who care what gender they are.

Also, one of the nursery staff is male. Some of the mums were not happy and questioning his motives for choosing that career. When I questioned them on their views and concerns none could give a valid, reasoned response. After a couple of months they all love the chap and realised he just loved working with babies and kids.

If that is a career you want to follow; go for it and sod what anyone else thinks.

Yes, why not. HV for our first kid was male.

“Would you be happy with a male in this role? Would you feel you could be as open and honest as you would with a female? Would you feel uncomfortable?”

That sounds a bit defensive, Rusty!  I reckon lots of parents would actually prefer talking to a male health professional, especially someone a bit “older and wiser”.

But, as others have said, it’s all about personality, not gender.  The very fact you’ve asked these questions demonstrates you have the required sensitivity.  Good luck in your new career!

Would you be happy with a male in this role?

couldn’t give a shit if it was male or female.  The gender/sex of the person is irrelevant.

As a follow up. My wife didn’t like the 1st HV either. They were both far too ‘hippy’ for her and she wouldn’t mind a male or female HV as long as they have the right personality.

Well in medicine I’ve shown my junk to dudes and ladies

But everyone gets all upset when I do the same thing in Waitrose.

As far as health visitors go, I recall my wife bein very much of the opinion they were a formality in visiting and she just wanted to get on with things. Possibly the second one she felt a little more comfortable with a female as the visitor checked up on her condition after a c-sector.

With regard to school nurse, we don’t care what sex they are. Their qualifications matter more than the contents of their underwear. Personally I’d like to see more men in school roles. My son is struggling this year as after six school years it’s the first time he’s had a male teacher and it’s very alien to him. It shouldn’t be. Boys should have male authority figures around them.

No problem. With both of our kids we had involvement from the same male midwife (not for the final birth due to shift change) and it was never an issue.

HV is even less of an issue.

Genuine thanks to everyone who has responded.

There is a  brillant Mumsnet thread about this and I’ve done a hell of a lot of research, but your opinion is invaluable.

I’m 49 and will be 53 before I would be allowed to do the job, after much study.

I’ve specialised in dementia and acquired brain injuries for the past 15 years and loved every minute. Huge effort, but when you have a decent team around you the rewards can be extraordinary.

I feel this could be something equally rewarding that  I could be bloody good at for the rest of my working life.

I  like people. That’s why I’ve been a care worker for 20 years and am now training to be a Nurse.

Working with mums and small children is incredibly rewarding – it’s hard to explain and I genuinely wasn’t expecting to feel like this, but I do.

Lots more placements and a lot of study. Something else might grab me as hard as this has and I will be asking your advice.

Many thanks, love to you all.

Having the competence, skills set and right attitude is what matters – not gender. There are some people – but hopefully a few – who think gender is also a consideration.

I’m of a generation where too many people took decisions and formed opinions using gender as one of their evaluation criteria – both formally and informally; pleased those days are well behind us.

What you’re doing is great and you have my 100% support.

A bit late to the thread but yes, I would be perfectly happy with a man in that role. I’ve had 2 kids and in both cases the health visitor was a starchy old-fashioned type of grumpy old woman that I didn’t get on with !

“A Life’s Work” on Radio 4 last month was an interesting discussion between three generations of midwives – including a young man about to qualify.

Personally the sex of a doctor is irrelevant. I simply prefer a good one.

My once had a male midwife visit here at home. Fine except for dirty fingernails! But at the time he had to accompanied by a woman. Whatever the rights and wrongs of that, it seemed an odd choice of career as you are always needing supervision/under suspicion.

Whatever the rights and wrongs of that, it seemed an odd choice of career as you are always needing supervision/under suspicion.

A very good point.

My own motivation?  I’ve done a hell of a lot of dementia and end of life care. It grinds you down after a while, it’s very rewarding but ultimately you’re in a situation where you know the outcome. You can only do it for so long. No matter how much you try and remain detached you can’t help but like the majority of people you care for and there’s only so many funerals you can go to before you need a change.

That’s why I’ve loved working with people with Acquired Brain Injuries for the past five years.  You can see a positive outcome, everything you and your team does  has an impact.

I think that’s why this placement is so rewarding. It’s about helping people have a better start to life, with all the infinite possibilities that entails, rather than helping someone have a better death. That is very rewarding too, but at the moment I’m happy with the change in perspective.

I guess the question might be if you find it difficult

It’s 2018, I really don’t think people should expect to have a gender preference for their health professionals.

To some extent I can see that someone who has actually BEEN THROUGH something can be more understanding and perhaps more empathatic but then we don’t require midwives to have had childen.

Health visitor – possibly but IMO a very odd career choice for a man.

School nursing  women only.  You will not be able to be properly effective as a school nurse. How are young women going to be able to come to you with personal / sexual problems or for emergency contraception?

Midwife  again possible for a man but again a very odd career choice

Yes patients are allowed to specify the sex of their nurses.  As is right.

It’s a nurse. Regardless of gender.

Health visitor – possibly but IMO a very odd career choice for a man.

Midwife  again possible for a man but again a very odd career choice

<span style=”font-size: 0.8rem;”>Why would it be a odd career choice (based on gender)?  </span>

I can’t imagine why any gender would favour being part of bringing new life vs say providing palliative care.

The only real issue I see is due to perceptions and misconceptions …

Yes patients are allowed to specify the sex of their nurses.  As is right.

In what century is that “right”? That’s lie calling out the AA/RAC and then refusing assistance because they send a woman? How are perceptions ever going to change … I hardly want to be in the situation of needing a nurse and having that nurse taken away because someone has a ‘preference’ and won’t be treated by someone of the opposite gender.

School nursing  women only.  You will not be able to be properly effective as a school nurse. How are young women going to be able to come to you with personal / sexual problems or for emergency contraception?

Just propagating misconceptions and perception. Why would it be different for a young man to approach a female nurse for ‘personal problems’  ???

Which just seems to bring us full circle… it seems odd perhaps because its not a common choice for males… but it seems a large part of that is down to perception.  4/5 of my last GP’s have been female… I don’t go to a surgery and ask if I can have a bloke in case I want to discuss “personal problems” ….

If I ever need tricky CV surgery I’d be sure to go to the best CV surgeon I know who happens to be female…