Anyone phoned ribble cycles? Good god it’s beyond terrible.

If you have 2 minutes free try it.

Infact don’t it’s a 25sec loop of white noise thats absolutely beyond comprehension.

Its actually making me want to vomit. It’s like the noise used in security systems to disorientate intruders

Try phoning Skoda. I can’t work out of the message about the inspiration behind the branding is genuine or a blatant piss take.

On the phone to works IT helpline a few years back with an irritating problem and they had “eye of the tiger” as hold music. Certainly had me fired up and ready for battle!

Temping for a pensions company, had to phone others on a daily basis. One, I forget which, had William Henry Davies poem Leisure.

What is this life if, full of care

We have no time to stand and stare…

F right off

Temping for a pensions company, had to phone others on a daily basis. One, I forget which, had William Henry Davies poem Leisure.

What is this life if, full of care

We have no time to stand and stare…

F right off

It’s not the music for me just the jarring out of sync cuts to “thanks for calling but really we couldn’t give a toss about you” messages every fifteen seconds. Yes! I know, I understood your in sincere and hollow platitudes the first time!

An acquaintance of a mine (chap lived in the flat above a mate) composed lift music for one of the huge lift companies. They’d install some lifts in say a Mid Eastern hotel complex and he’d have to come up with the music that’s suitable. He hated it, but the money was good enough that not doing it would’ve meant finding something else and as his other job was teaching piano there wasn’t much call  .

Not music, but I had to call my car insurance co for the first time in 2 years… hold information was “yourcallwillbeansweredshortly” every 10 seconds. For. 20. minutes. They couldn’t have made it more irritating if they tried. I ended up going on the online chat and asking for a better number (while I was on hold). They gave me the underwriter’s number and that was answered immediately. Now I know why the insurance is cheap!

https://youtu.be/jM8XdUNhNmU

This classic.

Cisco Opus Number 1

On January 1st, 2000 I woke bleary eyed and hungover in Glasgow  to discover that someone had spent the first hours of their new millennium trying to break into and steal my car – clumsily – frankly it looked like it had been **** by a rhino. Door pealed open, dash hanging off, steeling wheel collapsed.

It was undriveable and the doors couldn’t be closed so I had to call greenflag to get them to tow it to somewhere secure until it could be made secured weather tight.

So that entailed calling greenflag during one of the most universally observed bank holidays in living history and, surprisingly no-one was picking up. According to my phone bill I was listening to a loop of the first 45 seconds of ‘Come on and rescue me’ from around 9 until early afternoon

Next time I had to call greenflag was in 2017 and they still had the same hold music and it still loops, mid-bar in the same spot. If it hear the tune in any other context its a mild shock to have it not jump back to the beginning.

peekay

This classic.

Cisco Opus Number 1

https://youtu.be/pais41IW5dk

Don’t worry Buhler UK use that as well, TBH you get so hypnotised by it you have a real “Huuurrrppphh” moment when someone actually answers.

Could be worse though as our Citrix (Shitrix) help number goes through to an Indian call centre where the music is very “Tandoori House special” so I get very hungry dreaming about a Garlic Chilli Chicken dish 😮

I actually don’t mind that Cisco one but after 5 mins it could get tedious. Virgin money had some good tunes on their phone system – must be free licensing from the record company.

Without doubt, the crap award goes to Greensleeves – a DWP classic.

Doctors office has some kind of freeform jazz or perhaps a child playing with instruments, recorded through a phone.

O2 business support, which I had to call multiple times a day for a few years in a former job, had the same 5 pop songs on a loop, full of crackles and static.

I work for a Local Authority. Social Work hold music was “Walk On By”, and the Educational Psychology Dept. had “Closest Thing To Crazy”. Incredible.

You probably think I am joking. I am not. I pointed it out, there was a nervous “Really?”. There was a change and now everyone gets Kylie.

My favourite ever was several runs through of The Kinks’ “So Tired”.

I have also had Blondie – Hanging on the telephone!

I assume these were done on purpose….

Our IT Department used to use 99 Problems by Jay-Z for their queue music. Someone complained though because of the mild profanity so it got pulled for some lift music.

https://youtube.com/shorts/yzRaLJkxsFc?feature=share

Yea DWP should’ve switched to Dolly Parton’s 9-5

I phoned Apple recently and was given a choice of musical genres for hold music … classical, jazz, &c. … I was also given the option of waiting in silence … lovely. I started the call in a calm frame of mind. Impressed.

Not hold music but…
For six months I worked beside a guy who whistled the same few bars of que sera sera. Never got past what will be will be. Easy work, decent pay but I really needed to leave before causing actual bodily harm.

Again, not so much hold music, although some sound like the demo track on an 80s £30 casio keyboard, but more the fact of being advised regularly that I ‘can self serve online and manage my account ad infinitum’… No shit sherlock, except, as I already know this, I wouldn’t still be sitting on chuffing hold listening to this drivel over and over again, unless the reason I was on hold in the first place, was for the very reason that what I need CAN’T BE BLOODY DONE ONLINE. AAAARRRRGGGHHH

Rant over. Thanks for the safe venting space.

Our GP’s surgery plays Lifted by the Lighthouse Family…the whole song over and over and over again.
It must be some sort of test to see how much you REALLY want to see a Dr.

lister

Our GP’s surgery plays Lifted by the Lighthouse Family…the whole song over and over and over again.
It must be some sort of test to see how much you REALLY want to see a Dr.

I would have changed surgery’s rather than endure that!!

@peekay !! That Cisco song (for which I never knew the name etc until now) is EVERYWHERE!!
On hold to the local hospital… calling my solicitor… everywhere!

Though, it’s obviously very low quality over a phone, so is even MORE annoying!

DrP

Panasonic consumer electronics used to have a musical only version of suicide is painless (Theme from Mash) on repeat. had to listen to it for 2 hours once, it wouldn’t have been painless but it would have been a blessed relief at the end of that 🙂