Woo-Hoo! The Kleeneze catalogue's here again!

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  • Woo-Hoo! The Kleeneze catalogue's here again!
  • PeterPoddy
    Member

    A while ago I posted A THREAD about the wonderful products available in the Kleeneze catalogue

    As you can imagine I was over the moon when a new edition dropped through our door this week, so I thought I’d bring you a sample of the current top products!

    First up we have some rather sexy looking incontinence pants –

    Washable and unisex? Is this so you can share them with your partner or other incontinent friends? The mind boggles! The adjustable waist size equates to 17-53 inches, which is handy I s’pose, but I’m just wondering if the pouch sags terribly when wet……Imagine that sloshing left and right between your knees on the way to the bathroom. 😯

    Next up some sleeve protectors –

    To be honest, I’m lost for words. Why? Just why? Roll your sleeves up further woman!!
    Looks like something my great great grandmother cut off her bloomers.!

    And this issues ‘Best Seller’, no less –

    A portable, unisex urinal. Wonderful. Lets hope the ‘tight sealing cap’ works well shall we? And that you don’t pull it off with a jolt whan it’s full. (SPLASH! Ewwwww!) And of course if you can pee more than 800cc, or you’re second in the queue, you’re gonna have to have some serious bladder control.

    That’s it folks, I’ll try and keep it wee-free next time! 😀

    Slashtastic!

    2tyred
    Member

    My mother in law is a Kleeneze devotee.

    She was very excited one time about a thing that you broke an egg into then put into the toaster. Do they still have the banana keeper thing? Always quite fancied one of those.

    robdob
    Member

    I notice both the wee products are supplied in "discreet packaging". I can see why, although I would be proud of owning such things as a bottle to store my most treasured wee's and a sports jockstrap nappy.
    I do wonder what "indiscreet" packaging is. Do they send a postcard of the item to your neighbours with a chirpy summary of your special order? Do they send a parade of dancing girls to announce you DO care about keeping your sleeves dry and WILL NOT ruin your fashionable twinset by creasing the sleeves when you roll them up?

    This is an exciting world PP has introduced us to.

    PeterPoddy
    Member

    Do they send a postcard of the item to your neighbours with a chirpy summary of your special order?

    LOL! 😀

    AndyP
    Member

    crikey. it's like the 'air mall' things you get on US internal flights. More, more, I want to see more tat! How does one get hold of this wonderful publication?

    grahamb
    Member

    AndyP, you don't have the delight of having these drop through your letterbox once a month ?. Think yourself lucky. The ones i get seem to be mostly in grubby reused plastic bags that look like previously it was used to hold one of those incontinence jock straps after it's been used.

    I wonder how anyone doing this makes any money. They pay for the catalogues. Round here they don't seem to get many back, i can't see many of my neighbours going for this sort of tat. I suspect the only people making money from it is the catalogue sellers.

    samuri
    Member

    My wife is an avid subscriber. She purchases items with the secretness of a middle manager pressing 'buy' on the CRC website late at night. Then that funny looking lady will knock on our door (always to my wife's embarassment – when I'm there), with her arms full of useless shite (although it has to be said, she's not ordered any incontinence pants yet), and we'll hand over 40 quid and be presented with a series of ridiculous and cheap gadgets that fix a problem that never existed. They invariably break after two minutes or never actually get used.

    As an example, I think we have a drawer full of corn cob holders, every time I open the hall cupboard a device for cleaning inside lampshades falls out and in pride of place in our bedroom, (because it's the only thing she's ever bought that is actually useful), is a hairdryer holder so she can use two hands to brush her hair while standing in front of it.

    edit: I'll add that while it's annoying and costs me money, my wife clearly has a mental problem that should not be ridiculed. Indeed, I'm sat here at home with 4 seperate computers within arms reach and at least 9 of my own bikes with fifty feet of me. (I think I probably have two or three other bikes that are on long term loans to people.)

    PeterPoddy
    Member

    is a hairdryer holder so she can use two hands to brush her hair while standing in front of it.

    I nearly posted that! 🙂

    Premier Icon Esme
    Subscriber

    Those Incontinence Pants could be very useful in the "Tour" – or long rides in urban areas!

    Diane
    Member

    Peterp you are horrible 🙂 Actually the whole catalouge should be filled with 'Why?'

    Premier Icon theotherjonv
    Subscriber

    thanks Robdob

    Peter, is there by any chance a portable mini wet and dry vacuum cleaner for removing coffee from my keyboard.

    Shibboleth
    Member

    This was my favourite…

    Premier Icon Drac
    Subscriber

    Between that and the betterware catalogue there will be enough plastic shit keep landfill sites busy for years. The **** never take the hint either, "I've come to collect the catalogue I put through your door last week."

    "What catalogue?"

    "The betterware catalogue"

    "Oh that, it'll be in the bin"

    They always look shocked and annoyed

    "I have to pay for those, it says on the note not to bin them."

    "I don't read them, don't put them through my door if you want them back"

    "Their property I need them for other customers"

    "Stop putting them through my door then, if it's in my house then it's mine so it goes in the bin"

    They wander off grumbling at this point but sure enough they'll be back within a few months.

    Premier Icon theotherjonv
    Subscriber

    shibboleth

    No way. that has to be a spoof surely. The marketing text is brilliant "penetrate deeply…. feeling of total contentment"

    Shibboleth
    Member

    Nope, I scanned it out of the catalogue myself jonv. I think it might have been Innovations catalogue, but could have been Kleeneze, can't remember. It was a year or 2 back.

    PeterPoddy
    Member

    PMSL @ shibboleth! How did I miss that! 😯

    samuri
    Member

    My wife's bought quite a few of those. She must have a really bad neck.

    Shibboleth
    Member

    I think that if you buy that, the doggy steps and the incontinence shield, you've got all the makings of a great weekend!

    AndyP
    Member

    AndyP, you don't have the delight of having these drop through your letterbox once a month ?. Think yourself lucky.
    nope. Used to get the Innovations thing in newspapers a few years ago but that seems to have stopped too. We occasionally used to get the odd scrote selling dusters or similar door to door but thankfully I seem to live in a tat catalogue and jehovas witness-free zone.
    Quite horrified by Drac's post above.If somebody puts something through the letterbox for you, then surely it's up to you what you do with it from there. Crazy.

    Premier Icon piedi di formaggio
    Subscriber

    The Kleeneze droids are not a happy bunch

    http://www.horshamforum.co.uk/Topic335-21-1.aspx

    😆

    boblo
    Member

    PMSL @ Samuri

    Premier Icon GrahamS
    Subscriber

    Between that and the betterware catalogue there will be enough plastic shit keep landfill sites busy for years

    I used to sell Betterware door-to-door in my younger days 😳

    It was absolutely soul destroying.

    grahamb
    Member

    lol @ Drac. God knows how many times I've had that conversation.

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