Women, wives in particular!

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  • Women, wives in particular!
  • Sui
    Member

    badllama – Member

    globalti speaks very wise truths,
    But what happens then is she get wound up to the fact I can remember

    you banging my missus? The problem here then is that I get challenged to “my interpretation” of what she means and “do I agree” and if I don’t, then I may as well have killed lots of little children for how much of bad person I am! 🙄

    👿

    edit to add this seem to happen quite a lot actually and now we have “communication issues” – I tried quoting “don’t cry wolf” – it didn’t go down well.

    Premier Icon alansd1980
    Subscriber

    I find comfort in these threads knowing that I am not alone in putting up with mental behaviour!

    Please keep them coming

    i was always trying to ‘solve her problems’to which she didnt want a solution

    Agreed. That never works!

    The one I hate is: “What are you thinking?” [Do I look like I’m thinking?; shit!]

    Junkyard
    Member

    I was just thinking how much I love you and how lucky i am to have you in my life and how you make it better in every way. thanks I love you so much I am truly blessed you are amazing.

    Premier Icon monkeysfeet
    Subscriber

    Aw……..Junkyard!!!x 😳

    nealglover
    Member

    I was just thinking how much I love you and how lucky i am to have you in my life and how you make it better in every way. thanks I love you so much I am truly blessed you are amazing.

    That’s very nice.

    Thanks xx

    Premier Icon cinnamon_girl
    Subscriber

    Thank goodness I only have my bikes to argue with. 😀

    johni
    Member

    Sounds like we all fell foul of the age old rule when finding a better half…

    Single, Attractive, Sane.

    Choose max 2. (You never get all three)

    Tom_W1987
    Member

    Well. My wife doesn’t moan, is attractive, is intelligent, earns more than me yet is married to me and likes other women as well.

    haha **** you all.

    globalti
    Member

    I always find while watching TV she will to talk about the usual crap so now I just power down the TV and look at her and she goes quiet. I turn it on again and she talking again I’m sure the two are linked by the TV remote in some way

    Classic! Soooo true!

    Okay here’s another one:

    She: “I wonder why bla bla bla bla?”

    Gti: “Hmmm… maybe because bla bla bla bla?”

    (This might have been, for example, why aren’t the birds singing as loudly today as they did yesterday?)

    She: “You don’t really know the answer do you? You’re just bullshitting as usual!”

    Now I have learned that the correct answer to any pointless question where I’m not absolutely 100% sure of the correct reply is: “Oooh, I don’t know!” This kills the conversation stone dead and lets me get back to looking at girls’ bottoms on Pinterest.

    Premier Icon hatter
    Subscriber

    Well. My wife doesn’t moan, is attractive, is intelligent, earns more than me yet is married to me and likes other women as well.

    haha **** you all.

    I notice note you didn’t say ‘sane’ there.

    Awaits the “Boo-hoo my missus ran off with a welder called Mandy” thread.

    Premier Icon monkeysfeet
    Subscriber

    She: “You don’t really know the answer do you? You’re just bullshitting as usual!”

    I make random stuff up when Mrs monkeysfeet asks me stuff she knows I won’t know the answer to. If she recites my made up boll*x to other people I get extra points 😀

    Tom_W1987
    Member

    She’s at least as sane as I am. 😆

    Sui
    Member

    does anyones else missus start a conversation that bums them out (the woman that is), then turns to you and tells you to think of another subject?

    konabunny
    Member

    Oscar WAS married for four years.

    Kinell, really?

    Premier Icon alansd1980
    Subscriber

    om_W1987 – Member
    Well. My wife doesn’t moan, is attractive, is intelligent, earns more than me yet is married to me and likes other women as well.
    haha **** you all.

    They all start out that way, I used to have the same conversation with my married friends before I was married. They just gave me the knowing look and disapproving shake of the head.
    Now I understand!

    bikebouy
    Member

    It does make you wonder if, you know, they come with a returns policy 😆

    murf
    Member

    After 7 years of marriage I’ve come to the conclusion that dowries should be supplied in the form of sand/cement/aggregate and paving slabs 🙂

    Just wait till they hit forty and go properly batshit crazy

    Premier Icon timraven
    Subscriber

    Just wait till they hit forty and go properly batshit crazy

    😆 😆

    Too Late!

    Premier Icon deejayen
    Subscriber

    No sign of marriage on the horizon, so probably safe for a few years at least, but what an eye-opening thread! 😯

    Surely not every wife exhibits these traits…? 😕

    …and what about the wives’ points of view – I wonder if they think their husbands are infuriating and no longer the men they married?

    rene59
    Member

    Some men spend too much time with their wife, and not enough time in the pub.

    cfinnimore
    Member

    I have a woman who I consider may as well be my wife. We are in love.

    Except now I laugh at Lee Evans jokes and wonder if she secretly married me and forged my signature.

    wrightyson
    Member

    Its as if that 5 minute conversation never happened last night, all is exciting and rosy in ensuing festival land once more. Roll on the weekend!
    However we have to pack the car Wednesday night yet….

    Suggsey
    Member

    Rohipnol works see, she’s forgotten about you wanting to cop off with your friends misses 😆

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    Sounds like we all fell foul of the age old rule when finding a better half…

    Single, Attractive, Sane.

    4) Expensive.

    slowoldgit
    Member

    Thank you guys. I used to think I was a mysogynist old git and unlucky too. I now realise I’m normal.

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    I don’t think those states are mutually exclusive.

    Tom_W1987
    Member

    I don’t think those states are mutually exclusive.

    I think there’s probably a correlation between the two.

    slowoldgit
    Member

    What, normal and misogynist?

    trailmoggy
    Member

    The only thing you’ll understand….. is that you’ll never understand them

    Premier Icon MoreCashThanDash
    Subscriber

    Just wait till they hit forty and go properly batshit crazy

    Dear God, you are so right!

    Premier Icon woody21
    Subscriber

    There are two things in this world that you’ll never understand one is the scent of a fox and the other is the mind of a woman

    Premier Icon wallop
    Subscriber

    Just wait till they hit forty and go properly batshit crazy have an early menopause

    You bunch of poor fools don’t even know what’s coming.

    I’m clinging on to the slender hope that this little ‘life experience’ gets itself out of the way and she might be sane again by her 50’s – just when the rest of you are packing to take a stay in the pit of hades.

    You think you’ve encountered irrational? Think again boys

    matther01
    Member

    Read ‘Why men don’t listen, and why women can’t read maps’…very insightful…but still hasn’t helped me.

    OP – was there a set of keys and bowl in your hands when you mentioned ‘partying’ with the attractive 20-30s?! 😉

    20’s – 30’s, festival – going to be some laughing gear of some description. Is this what Mrs Wrighty has the tits on about?

    konabunny
    Member

    And Hora.

    and counting 😉

    globalti
    Member

    Marriage is full of men who can’t understand why the woman they married had changed to much and women who can’t understand why the man they married has changed so little.

    badnewz
    Member

    The most amazing thing is how normal your other half can appear to other people.
    Oh the Horror! the Horror!

    globalti
    Member

    The columnist Minette Marrin wrote this a few years ago and I though it was so good that I kept it. It gets better towards the end:

    The good wife is an old fashioned realist

    Minette Marrin

    How to be a perfect wife is not, you might have thought, a very contemporary question. Decades of feminism have been much more concerned with how to be a perfect career woman, exotic lover, fully fledged fashionista, alpha female and, latterly, yummy mummy; being a wife has been somewhat incidental, even for those who get married or stay married.

    Gloomy research appears from time to time, suggesting that when women who try to have it all find they can’t, the first thing they give up on is their husbands, not least on sex with their husbands. That may be partly why two marriages out of three end in divorce and most people don’t marry at all; marriage rates are at their lowest since records began. So was rather quaint to read in The Times last week an article entitled “In search of the good wife”, complete with a questionnaire from 1958. “Do you renew your nail varnish as soon as it chips?” it demands. “Do you go through his clothes every month or so to check on minor repairs? And then do you make them? Would you stay on at a party when you knew he was tired and wanted to go home? Do you use table napkins? Do you know the cheapest cuts of meat? Do you clean your handbag as often as you clean your shoes? Do you resent it when he has a night out with the boys?”

    A familiar picture soon emerges of a carefully groomed woman with primped hair and a wasp waist who calms down the children and touches up her lipstick when her husband comes home from work, listens charmingly to his day’s debriefing, and then offers him a well cooked but thrifty dinner. There was a time not so long ago when that would have been simply ridiculous. This traditional vision of matrimonial labour was considered not just laughable but repressive: a woman’s abilities and ambitions were sacrificed to her husband’s, without any security other than his goodwill.

    Now, though, it seems that this vision is being revisited, and not only by Stepford wives, or those alarming “surrendered wives” of the American religious right. Ordinary women are at last beginning to realise that feminists, in their passionate rejection of traditional marriage, may have thrown out the man with the bathwater, and that they rather wish they hadn’t. A man, like a woman, needs an incentive to get married and stay married; feminism forgot that, and forgot too that marriage is more in women’s interests than in men’s. So the old fashioned question has become interesting again, at least for women who want to find and keep a husband and realise, increasingly, how difficult that is: what makes a good wife? I think women should start by facing some awkward facts. It’s a mistake in any relationship to insist too much on egalitarian principles. Feminism, understandably, has concentrated too much on women’s rights and, by extension, too much on husbands’ duties. Why, on top of working long hours and forsaking all others, would a man put out the garbage and change the nappies for a woman who is too busy with her own career and too tired by her own schedule to bother much about him? Or, to be blunt, to have sex with him? It may be his duty to put up and shut up and keep on doing the late night feeds and the early morning commuting, but it’s hardly very appealing. Nor is insisting on these duties a very clever way of trying to hold on to a husband, if that is what a woman wants.
    One hard fact a would-be wife has to face — and I was absolutely horrified to realise this myself — is that it’s not possible for a married couple to have two demanding jobs and children and a good relationship. Something has to give. If the relationship has to be neglected, then the marriage will fail, which will be very bad for the children. If the children are neglected, then the marriage is worthless anyway.

    So something must give on the work front and this is probably, for many women, the price of being a good wife and having a good marriage. Unless a couple are extremely well paid, and have plenty of domestic help, her brilliant career will have to be less brilliant for a while; she will have to spend some time in the Mummy lane. It could, of course, be the other way round. But another harsh truth is that alpha males won’t stay at home in the Daddy lane and nor will plenty of other males of all descriptions; they refuse to be ersatz housewives. They would rather not get married, and as the figures show, increasingly they aren’t, and increasingly, if they are, they move out. So rule number one for a wife is to forget about equal rights and entitlements. Think instead about motivation. When you want to please your child, or your lover, you think hard about what might make them happy and then do it. It’s not a chore, or even if it is that hardly matters; it’s an act of love or of loyalty. Yet strangely, in marriage this obvious motivational technique seems to wither away with the wedding flowers. Women are convinced it is their right not to have sex when they don’t feel like it, and it is a man’s duty to wash up, though he hates it — and so it is, of course. But that’s not the point. Granny was right; never say no, and never nag.

    I think that my generation, and later ones even more so, have been led astray by romantic 1960s notions of sincerity and authenticity; it began to be believed that in the name of existential good faith and psychological well being individuals ought always to act and speak in accordance with their feelings — telling it like is and letting it all hang out. So sex without passionate desire — the boffe de politesse of a kindly marriage — is inauthentic.
    Similarly, talking without expressing all one’s resentments and expectations and anxieties is a kind of insincerity, or dishonesty even. But this rather adolescent attitude is entirely at odds with the tolerance, discretion and generosity of body and spirit needed in a good marriage.

    Husbands are mostly quite simple. Generally, what they want is unlimited, enthusiastic sex, constant reassurance, good food and plenty of freedom, of at least three of these four. Some can be trained to be very helpful domestically and some even enjoy it; but most are not bred for it. But they have many excellent and endearing qualities; the rewards of living with a well-motivated husband, if not quite above rubies, are very considerable, high though the price may be.

    jwt
    Member

    We are not Alone……not Really………

    badnewz
    Member

    Husbands are mostly quite simple. Generally, what they want is unlimited, enthusiastic sex, constant reassurance, good food and plenty of freedom, of at least three of these four. Some can be trained to be very helpful domestically and some even enjoy it; but most are not bred for it.

    Sex – local hooker. Reassurance – local hooker. Good food – local restaurant. Freedom – local bike trails. Bosh!

    globalti
    Member

    Interesting websites. Both writers make the simple mistake of actually arguing with their GFs. I don’t argue about anything because I know that my grasp of semantics is not good enough to win. Therefore I just bite my lip, say nothing and store it up for the future.

    One thing I have stored up is that many years ago, she admitted in an unguarded moment that on the extremely rare occasions when I do reach the end of my tether and lose my rag, she finds it frightening. She even said that she finds it frightening when I lose my temper with other people. I pretended not to hear her but I noted it carefully and I don’t lose my temper; I just quietly bide my time knowing I’ve got that available to me as the ultimate weapon to be used only in moments of extreme need.

    slowoldgit
    Member

    Minette Marrin’s website is worth a look. Thanks Mr G.

Viewing 45 posts - 46 through 90 (of 117 total)

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