• This topic has 108 replies, 85 voices, and was last updated 11 years ago by timc.
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  • Woman problems
  • bwfc4eva868
    Free Member

    Well looking for advice really. I split up with my missus over christmas due to her wanting a break after apperantly me not commiting and saying i dont want kids till i finish my nurse training. So basically we split for about three weeks and she spent it tarting about with some cross breed half Italian rocky balboa wannabe. She said all they did was kiss but spent the night at his house.
    Fair enough we’d split up, however we got back together and have from the way i saw it become rock solid again and she became pregnant till unfortunatley she had a misscarriage. at 8 weeks,this was a month ago. Now for some reason i checked her phone last week and Italian boy has been texting her some how are you texts and another which is quite forward in the style of “I’ll come down and we can make our own bedtime story” now she also text him the week after she had a misscarriage when we were out on the lash as she didnt like the fact one of my ex’s happened to be in the same bar as us,said ex was a two month shag piece.

    I asked her yesterday if still texts Rocky balboa and she saidvshe hasnt,now i know that its a lie but dont know if i should leave it or have it out.

    project
    Free Member

    This should be a long runner………

    anagallis_arvensis
    Full Member

    women, cant live with em, cant kill em.

    but you can run!

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    Munqe-chick
    Free Member

    OOOO, so what do you want from this relationship? Can you see it going long term? HOw long have you been together? Are you married? Seems that you are both quite insecure types, why were you checking her phone? (obviously gave you a reason to) but why is she getting annoyed about an ex being in the pub. Unless you are 15 years old you have to accept that probably your partner has some ex’s some of which will mean more than others.

    you cannot take advice on here, as it depends what you want out of it. On the service IMO with what little I have it appears there is no trust and you should split up and go your seperate ways. Good luck though whatever you choose.

    cynic-al
    Free Member

    Got to confront her, it’s only going to rot otherwise, even if she stops contacting him.

    Trust is paramount!

    cinnamon_girl
    Full Member

    Have some self-respect.

    bwfc4eva868
    Free Member

    Been together 4 years. Now up untill december when she thought i wasnt commited we trusted each other but since we split up its a bit hit and miss. Id like a future together but i dont want this little shit interfering.

    emma82
    Free Member

    She’s just lost a baby that was very much wanted, she’s bound to be all over the place. You need to be supportive but firm that this guy isn’t going to feature in your lives from now on. If she carries on texting him then you probably have your answer to be honest. Does she trust you?

    Munqe-chick
    Free Member

    Just sing the Jay-Z song to yourself “I have 99 problems but the b*** ain’t one” 😉

    emma82
    Free Member

    Ha, MC my husband was in the garage the other day and the couple next door were having a huge argument and the chap was shouting away and that song could be heard in the background. I chuckled.

    Kevevs
    Free Member

    dump her.

    oliverd1981
    Free Member

    Find a woman you don’t like and give her half a house. Saves time in the long run.

    mattzzzzzz
    Free Member

    I wouldn’t believe the “we only kissed” bit that’s a damage limitation thing to stop hurting your feelings especially as it was probably discussed when you were both thinking of getting back together
    IMO ( I have Been through something very similar and not while on a break either) you need to understand why she is lying to you- she’s not seeing the Italian stallion is she behind your back? And if you say no to this question are you sure?
    Confrontation is the only way- its gonna hurt you but better to know the ugly truth and move on than live a life of doubts and lies
    So ask her the truth or you walk- only with the truth can you know whether you can get your head round it or move on
    Good luck with your decision it’s hard , speaking from experience

    convert
    Full Member

    Difference of opinion about having kids or not (did you change your mind, cave in or was the pregnancy that ended in miscarriage a mistake?….or Italian); a break up; she finds time and is ready emotionally in a 3 week breakup to get back out there and at it(you know it was more than a cuddle); lack of trust and checking for messages; her still in contact and lying about it; childish attitudes to ex partners- writing’s on the wall I’d say. Savable or not, defiantly not secure enough for starting a family so I’d be keeping it in your pants for the moment.

    Three_Fish
    Free Member

    Savable or not, defiantly not secure enough for starting a family

    And again for good measure…

    Savable or not, defiantly not secure enough for starting a family

    sneakyg4
    Full Member

    Walk away, there is no happy ending on this one.

    Munqe-chick
    Free Member

    So true convert and three fish! Listen to these people ….

    neilsonwheels
    Free Member

    Find a woman you don’t like and give her half a house. Saves time in the long run.

    Another pearl of wisdom brought to you by STW. 😀

    In a lot of cases it’s true unfortunately. 🙄

    DezB
    Free Member

    As below, keep my bitterness to myself

    mokl
    Free Member

    Edit as decided to remove my ridiculous advice. Hope you work it out.

    higgo
    Free Member

    Walk away now.

    rogg
    Free Member

    You’re in a no-win situation – if you have it out with her, she’s going to be pissed off because you checked her phone, and because you’ve caught her out, and for your part, you’re already in a position where you feel you can’t trust her. And if you don’t have it out, it’ll fester, and the next time you have an argument, chances are you’ll bring it up whether you mean to or not.
    I hope you can work it out, but if you do, I’d give it a good long while before you think about starting a family.

    paddy0091
    Free Member

    Life is too short, only you know what you want out of this, the stw lot can only advise. I would be pretty peeved through regarding the Rocky communication though.

    All the best though.

    Jamie
    Free Member

    [video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXt723fN1ss[/video]

    j-cru
    Free Member

    Text him back using her phone, tell him ‘stay away from my wife’

    buzz-lightyear
    Free Member

    “her wanting a break after apperantly me not commiting … we split for about three weeks and she spent it tarting about with … rocky balboa wannabe”

    Sorry about her miscarriage but I think it’s muddling the main issue. Do you suspect she split because she was already after Rocky? Do you think things will get better? Can you live with that? <entirely personal choice>. But perhaps your instinct not to commit to children with her was correct?

    Best of luck whatever you do.

    zokes
    Free Member

    I was thinking more this:

    [video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=fjFzUVCQ1vM[/video]

    Junkyard
    Free Member

    Savable or not, defiantly not secure enough for starting a family

    this times amillion she left you for rocky is still seeing/contacting rocky and you want to have a child together

    PS anyone who gets annoyed because an ex is in the same pub as you is IMHO a mentalist best avoided.

    No offence but you sound like teenagers who think a child will bring you closer together a child will do many things for a relationship but making it easier or bringing you together is NOT one of them for the first few years.
    You need to tell her the truth if you wish to save it [ WHY she lied about seeing him and if you think they only kissed you are naive ] you read her phone, she talks to Rocky WTF is going on…when she says you dont trust her just explain you were right not to and her lack of honesty is the issue here as yes you should not snoop but she should give you no cause to snoop. Dont expect this chat to go well but in the long run it is the only way to “save” what you have and turn it into a trusting relationship.

    Good luck

    Hard though it may be i would run away and not look back personally. dont trust her say
    No shit sherlock would you afte rwhat you have done

    bwfc4eva868
    Free Member

    She split with me and got with Rocky because apperantly they were both singing from the same Hymn sheet. in their relationships. But then she fired him off. Probably realised i was the better prospect, good job etc. Now im no oil painting but he is a toothless little whippet.
    I thought things were getting better we talk more openly and when the last lil bump was on the way i looked after her during the short pregnancy and was excited. I have supported her since we lost him/her. So cant understand what keeps drawing her to communicate with him.

    Its childish i know but maybe putting the frightners on him maybe an idea. I think id find it hard walking away,but. i cant have the piss taken out of me.

    bwaarp
    Free Member

    Well…..thank **** she had a miscarriage because this will end up with either one of two outcome:

    1) She has your baby, runs off with bigger and better looking bloke. And forces you to pay to bring up the baby you never see.

    2) She shags said Italian bloke and then has you paying for and bringing up his child.

    Run like **** (this is a no brainer, no questions asked…. run). Perhaps splash her with holy water on the way out because it sounds like she’s possessed.

    higgo
    Free Member

    So cant understand what keeps drawing her to communicate with him

    You are nice and safe but he excites her (at least for now). That’s why she can’t/won’t let him go.

    i cant have the piss taken out of me

    You are.

    disclaimer: I may be wrong.

    paulosoxo
    Free Member

    No advice, but good luck. Make the right decision instead of the easiest one and you’ll be fine.

    bwaarp
    Free Member

    Just to ram the point home….this is effectively your girlfriend.

    Game over man, game over.

    Jamie
    Free Member

    Lawmanmx
    Free Member

    vote with yer feet and get shut pal, there is better for you out there, it may not seem that way at the moment but there deffo is! all the best 🙂

    project
    Free Member

    Ring the chap in question ask him out for a bike ride,drink,sport etc, you may well become good freinds, and dump her asap.

    bwfc4eva868
    Free Member

    I know of him from boxing and he’s a unfit twit who cant handle his booze. Have a good mate who’s on the market and up for a poke. Shes a bit older than me tho at 31

    Junkyard
    Free Member

    Its childish i know but maybe putting the frightners on him maybe an idea. I think id find it hard walking away,but. i cant have the piss taken out of me.

    its is stupid as well as childish.
    She left you for him, she keeps contacting him and you want to frighten him away 😯
    Is he in a relationship with you and betraying your trust or is she doing this?
    I cant even be bothered googling face palm for this please use contraception whatever you do

    convert
    Full Member

    Have a good mate who’s on the market and up for a poke. Shes a bit older than me tho at 31

    Sorry, this makes no sense. Are you saying you might consider leaving current lady but only if a bit of action is available; or are you saying this good friend could be used for revenge sex whilst remaining with current lady?

    Either way, you are not ready to be a dad. Sorry.

    cookeaa
    Full Member

    I’ve been in your position (or at least a similar one).

    It might sound a bit “loose Women” but why should you put up with this sort of thing?

    There are women about who won’t behave like this they are not all the same. You don’t trust her so just have it out its better to know at least.

    This other bloke is incidental a “bit of rough” not a long term thing from her POV but probably enough of an indication of how she truely values your relationship…

    Often women want out but somehow need for you to be the “bad guy” and end it the phone snooping confrontation might be the trigger for that. again at least you’ll know one way or t’other. By the way did you check her sent messages or just the inbox? often sheds more light can be a tough read so prepare youself… If it turns out she’s been doing the dirty don’t engage in a long shouting match pack a bag and leave quietly give it 48hrs for your head to clear after. no booze no texting her get yourself some space and time to think.

    Good luck with it all.

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