I’m wondering how you were stood holding the air hose before your car got there?  And having read your version of events I’m also wondering how your wife’s description of events would compare?

I’m fairly sure that you are mild mannered by STW standards.

There are a number of us on here that are definitely bigger pricks than you Renton – including me.

People who use mobiles whilst on self-checking machines annoy the shit out of me so much that I am prepared to pay Ocado prices to avoid the **** entirely.

I go through similar phases, although fewer and further between as I’ve got older. Mrs OTS always lays into me as a result and it often feels as though I’m getting it from all angles, but the reality is that she’s worried that one day I’ll kick off and someone will stab me or similar. She is of course right, and whilst I may feel I have the moral high ground, that isn’t going to keep the kids in data or Nikes if I’m dead. Smile, count to 10 and walk away – that’s what I try to do.

There’s nowt to be gained by telling an idiot, they’re an idiot. Just leave it. You’ll end up with someone wrapping a tyre wrench over your head. For what?

RENTON!! Oh jesus christ Renton.

RENTON!! Oh jesus christ Renton.

Reference?

😀

Can’t say I’m seeing anything from the OPs description that is shouting “anger issues”. I might have done things differently but I’d say he’s in the normal range.

I do think he needs to talk to his wife to try and get to the bottom of her reaction though. Either her description is very different, her previous experiences make her see things very differently, or there’s some attempt at undermining and control.

Or the OP’s version is very different.

I’d be more interested in why the bloke in the car tried to run a pedestrian over TBH.
Using vehicles as weapons isn’t clever and plenty of Laws back up that sentiment.

CCTV should help the OP’s position on if if he should decide to take this little matter further with the Police.

Seems you have mememe syndrome.

The second instance I genuinely think the bloke was trying to bully me out of the way with his car.

To be fair, he was being a dick.
However, there was an empty space and he tried to drive into it to be met with some bloke waving his arms around and shouting.
You and your wife should have sorted your shit out and been more organised (was she sat on her phone by any chance?)

The first one does sound like someone who is angry (about something else) and looking for things to rant/criticise complete strangers about for no real reason (sorry)

The first incident is certainly an over reaction. How many of us here have seen people using mobile phones whilst filling up at the petrol station and how many of us have shouted at the person using them to stop? Also did you consider that shouting at her was more dangerous (she could have done something unexpected with the pump) then her using the phone?

Second one. Odd again. There are no clear “queues” in most petrol stations and your wife was sitting in a car on the phone (ironic for the above situation) and the air bay was empty. Instead of a usual UK “sorry” “sorry” you and the other driver were arses.

I think if you have the need to write on here for our opinion you might have an issue but it’s probably more that you just embarrassed your wife as much as anything

Sounds to me like the behaviour is just embarassing and your wife is asking you to consider how you act.
I get it regularly as I am autistic so say things bluntly at best and things other people wouldn’t say at all at worst. Luckily my wife points this out so I can at least have a chance in addressing it and realising it is not expected behaviour

Where has it come from that my wife was on her phone ??

She was too busy trying to reverse out of the slot to move into the air and water slot.

The bloke that tried to force in was sat well behind in between all the pumps and had a clear view of me getting out of the car and setting the tyre pressure level on the machine. He blatantly just tried to muscle in.

There isn’t any other parts I’m missing out. Genuinely how it happened.

She was too busy trying to reverse out of the slot to move into the air and water slot.

The bloke that tried to force in was sat well behind in between all the pumps and had a clear view of me getting out of the car and setting the tyre pressure level on the machine. He blatantly just tried to muscle in.

If she was parked elsewhere then how could you also be in a “queue”? Think I’m agreeing with the “both were arses” view for that one

If she was parked elsewhere then how could you also be in a “queue”? Think I’m agreeing with the “both were arses” view for that one

This really.

While you ‘think’ you may have a ‘system’ this guy may not know your system, the system may only exist in your head anyway. If you’re not in a line behind the pump, then IMO you’re not in a queue. Simple as that.

Personally i wouldn’t have run you over… but i can see why he felt he was in the right.

As for the mobile phone thing, meh, you were an arse.

You’ve come onto STW to ask about anger issues 😳😂

I think one way to look at it is if these 2 incidents are isolated and nothing similar has ever happened before then that’s all they are – isolated incidents.

But…if things like this keep happening to you ie you keep finding yourself in lots of confrontations – well, maybe just maybe it’s something to do with you rather than the rest of the world.

She was too busy trying to reverse out of the slot to move into the air and water slot.

So not in this queue you told us about.

OP – are these 2 instances the only examples of you getting overly vexed?

Well there was the wheelie-bin incident…..

OP – it doesn’t matter what we think or what you think – your wife thinks you’re being ‘angry man’ in public spaces.

If you continue to behave in the ways that make her think that she will continue to think that, however justified you believe you are in your behaviours.

You have a choice – behave differently and earn her approval or continue with the behaviour and accept her criticisms.

fwiw my pov: the first incident I’d have kept schtum or asked the station staff to intervene. The second was all a bit of willy waving on both sides but using the car as a weapon to try and move you put you on the moral high ground.

Try swopping places with my brother in the USA if you want to know about anger management – he’s married to an absolute fruitcake of a women who is a cross between Native American and Lebanese and came fully equipped with the emotional baggage of her first marriage to an abusive man and two sons who are off the rails. Everything he says and does is subject to scrutiny and hours of analysis and discussion and when he does lose his rag with it all he’s told he has psychological issues and needs to go to anger management sessions. She and her buddies all take tranquillisers and visit their therapists every week. I wish the poor lad could get out of there as he’s wondering how much longer he can stand it.

I don’t feel angry as in want to fight someone for the slightest thing. I was quite calm in both instances and only raised my voice to get the point across.

Whichever way I explain the second occasion to you it makes me sound in the wrong. There is a system where if you want to use the air and water but the space is in use then you park in the space next to it. Then when it becomes free you move your car into it. Simple as that.

Thats a pretty stupid “system”. If I was to rock up to that petrol station today would I have any idea that your system was in place?

Sounds like the cones system from Daddy’s Home.

There is a system where if you want to use the air and water but the space is in use then you park in the space next to it. Then when it becomes free you move your car into it. Simple as that.

I got that in your original post, but as your wife didn’t move as soon as the place became clear the driver just looked to pull in and use the airline, there’s every chance he was unaware of the unofficial qeuing system. You standing there without a car becomes irrelevant, he’s there with his car first.
David Attenborough didn’t need to go to S.Georgia to film Elephant seals, the same behaviour could be observed at his local petrol station 😂😂

I can probably understand your reaction on the Air pump incident but the phone one is bit odd. Mention it to the staff if you are really concerned about safety – although I think that the dangers are largely unproven. You are also shouting at a woman which could be seen as bullying behaviour.

Invest in a compressor

Sorry – misread the phone part.

There is a system where if you want to use the air and water but the space is in use then you park in the space next to it.

The “system” at most garages is to hang back allowing the current user space to get out of the air area, looking like you’re waiting to use it, not park in a space near it.

He probably didn’t know you were waiting. He shouldn’t have driven in to you though.

If I was to rock up to that petrol station today would I have any idea that your system was in place?

Absolutely you would – the red-faced angry man waving his arms at you as you pull forwards would tell you about it. But only if you ask nicely.

There is a system where if you want to use the air and water but the space is in use then you park in the space next to it.

This might explain your frustration.
This isn’t a “system” it’s just a parking space that’s next to the reserved space for the air and water machine.
Anyone can park there, regardless of wether they want to use the air machine or not.

The other guy may have been a dick for driving into you, but he doesn’t know about the imaginary system you’ve invented 👍

Like bees to pollen, bravo.

Maybe he thought it was your job to pump up the tyres. Like you know 1960s America where a team of attendants would fuel your car, do windscreen clean and tyres all at the same time.
If he saw you there waving the air hose around like budgie the heli cock ter its possible he thought you would pump up his tyres

Clearly it’s not just these two instances that would make her say you have anger issues.

These are two easy situations that highlight something she clearly thinks regardless.

I don’t have anger issues; I just need everyone to stop p***ing me off.

Could be worse, you could have wanger management issues.

It’s not worth arguing with anyone nowadays just incase they have weapons or knives. There are stories you see on the news of deaths due to arguing.

There is a system where if you want to use the air and water but the space is in use then you park in the space next to it. Then when it becomes free you move your car into it. Simple as that.

Is there a sign letting users know about the system? If not, it’s not a system. We have a Tesco garage near us with the last parking bay also having the air/water pump next to it. There are no signs, and often people will park there and do their shopping…it’s just the way it is.

In the years I’ve been driving I have never heard of a system like the one you describe, and I would have assumed the bay was free if there was no car in it.

Maybe it’s just me then. I thought it would be pretty obvious that if he’s watched me get out of the car and walk over to the air machine and start setting it and my wife outs the car into reverse and starts moving back then we are going to use the machine ??

Anyway cheers for the replies. It’s been interesting.