Been on the whiskey?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

That made me and the Mrs laugh! Any more responses?

Smooth, mate. Smooth.

p.s I will be in touch this year.

Is shitting yellow not normal? Asking for a friend.

Hope she sees the funny side and you get a date out of it 👍🏼

I only ever get rude autocorrect mistakes. I feel your pain.

Also, “Patrice”?  bullet dodged.

That made me and the Mrs laugh! Any more responses?

Why not, it only got better.

Funny, but Patrice ???

It is a boy first name in France.

I think I’ve just snapped a fart string

Well whoever he is it’s going to be a fun night….

I think I’ve just snapped a fart string

That might well be the funniest sentence I’ve ever read.

I think I’ve just snapped a fart string

That’s certainly better than the banjo version.

Brilliant ! nice .

Patrice sounds ace!

If she can laugh at poo jokes and finds white men with a hair premium funny enough to agree to date, she’ll be just fine with N+1.

Well done 🐻

Just got me and the wife giggling on the sofa! I reckon you’re in there my son!

There’s something wrong with bald white men?

There’s two outcomes here:

1) you’ve pulled a hot young black lady who’s into middle-aged lapsed cyclists with a sense of humour who can’t type.

2) you’ve pulled a sock-puppet account owned by Derek who is either working in law enforcement or is on a number of registers.

I wish you’d managed:

“oh dear God”

“SLUT !! ”

that would have made my day

Evra looks good with longer hair.

TBH I found the excel formula from Rob to be more amusing than this thread.

Confused

Why do women insist on doing that top down photo shot.

It’s just not a good angle, unless they’re not wearing anything.

TBH I found the excel formula from Rob to be more amusing than this thread.

Courses for horses innit. I find anything inappropriate to be chuckle-worthy 🙂

Love interest on STW, I’m on the edge of my seat for the next installment!

Upcoming threads include:

“Remember that girl I posted about? – we’re going steady!”
“Moving in together, any tips?”
“Can anyone recommend a good wedding venue?”
“Nearly the big day – excited!”
“What would you do if your fiance found you’d posted screenshots of your chats on social media?”
“The house seems so big these days…”
“Recommend me a supermarket whisky under £7.99”

Why do women insist on doing that top down photo shot.

It’s, ah, “flattering” apparently.

You’re no Bloodninja but it’s a start

Well, I was going to pull cougar up on his use of the Derek stereotype, but apparently paste still doesn’t ducking work with Android and Chrome. Sigh.

Anyway, good luck op

Why do women insist on doing that top down photo shot.

It’s, ah, “flattering” apparently.

Yes – beware the “high selfie”.  This one is almost vertical.

Why do women insist on doing that top down photo shot.

Ah yes, I was fooled by a very clever version of this… using her arm, perspective and angle of selfie she managed to look normal sized.

The texting was as enjoyable as Bear’s.

The meeting was OMG. That is a large lady.

If I get any further message exchanges (they are sparse), I will cut it short for a meet. The last one, we got on in texts like we’d been friends forever. It was hilarious, sexy and interesting. Then we met and I spent the next 3 days thinking how it was possible to hate someone so much.

Why do women insist on doing that top down photo shot

Hides the double chins, shows the boobs and they don’t have bald heads 😉

Why do women insist on doing that top down photo shot

My current project is to perfect the drone dick-pic.

My current project is to perfect the drone dick-pic

It’s not small, it’s far away..?

My current project is to perfect the drone dick-pic