Humans are free spirits, having to spend every waking moment of your free time with a female is bad for the soul! Most women don’t like stuff like cycling and things of that ilk. I reckon if you find a bird who likes this sort of thing and she’s hot with a cracking personality you have hit the jackpot! Most of them just want to shuffle about shopping centres and look at holiday brochures all day in there spare time. On the other hand Maybe its good to keep your hobbies separate from you partner. People need space to find themselves sometimes.

Sorry but I really don’t get all this asking permission stuff

I agree

All the wife says to me is “have a good ride but be carefull love you see you when your back”

My wife has more bikes than me. I bought them for her. She uses them all regularly. This is not a problem with either of us.

I tell her what I’m doing so we can work around it. We do have a young baby though so she needs me to make up time elsewhere to give her a break. Not riding much at the moment but should be fit again reasonably soon. I’ll just make sure it all balances nicely. It’s definitely harder with a baby because they eat time. When she’s older I’ll be back out at weekends again no doubt.

For example, tonight I’m going out for dinner so I’m leaving work at 3.45 to give her a couple of hours off before I go out. I’ll also be sure to be home reasonably early and sober. My wife looks after Lili much more than I so I do feel a little guilty sometimes.

Doesn’t really surprise me that a lot of stw forum members are under the thumb 😉

Being ‘allowed’ out lol

Snot about being under the thumb. I love my wife and daughter, and I care about how they feel. They also love me, and love having me around. So I don’t like to ditch them on the two days out of seven I get to spend with them.

Seems normal to me the wife looks after the kid. Is this not what nature asks of a woman! 😛

Snot about being under the thumb. I love my wife and daughter, and I care about how they feel. They also love me, and love having me around. So I don’t like to ditch them on the two days out of seven I get to spend with them.

Hear hear!

There’s a huge difference between mutual consideration and ‘being under the thumb’.

Seems normal to me the wife looks after the kid. Is this not what nature asks of a woman!

Ahh, didn’t study nature then? Depends on the species!

Possible Solutions:

Option 1: Get some decent lights and wait for whatever tat she wants to watch on telly (Realist crap in my case) to come on or have a look ahead at the listings, and then say: “Youv’e had a Tough Day/Week/Year, you watch what you want to night, I’ll get out of the way and play with my bike” Bosh! – Guilt free night ride…

Option 2: is to over state the number of rides/races you want to go on; give these fictional rides a date and time and make out you are definately going on them, make plenty of reference to these dates well in advance (put them on the calendar if you have one) and when the enevitable happens and a few hours before you are due to go she drops a bombshell, then be all reasonable about cancelling your fictional rides say things like “Well I can always go for a ride but your operation/manicure/coffe morning is a bit more of a priority” when a real ride rolls round you have plenty of “Personal sacrifice” stored up to offset her complaints, maybe even make her feel a bit guilty…

Option 3: Make constant references to how little you get out on the bike, how you feel less fit as a result, but then feign acceptance of the whole thing with “Still I suppose once you get older and Kids/Mortgage etc come along you have to give up some things…” She might see this as an early indication of a pending Mid-life-Crisis and allow the riding to make a come back for fear of a sportscar and a Leggy mistress…

Basically it’s all mind games with women, it’s all OK though they often say one thing and mean another, which is effectively lying, so you might as well do the same back…

Ultimately though not all women are the same, some posters seem to have very understanding missus’s, my wife is not a practical/pragmatic person (Much like the OP), she will geet very animated if I screw up her plans but think nothing of pissing all over my parade if I want to go out for a ride, the best solution is to plan and let her know what and when I plan to do, f I’m going to be gone for a Day at some point this weekend I make sure I let her know ASAP…

My partner just comes with me on the ride, she’s into stuff like that and is a keen kayaker so it’s never an issue if we want to do something. 🙂

My partner is a horse, so we go out riding together.

Seems normal to me the wife looks after the kid. Is this not what nature asks of a woman!

I enjoy looking after my baby 🙂 And kids require compromises from both of you, much more from the woman generally. In Poland, where my wife is from, the traditional gender roles are still firmly in place. That’s not how either of us think though. If you want a wife who cooks, cleans and looks after the kids on her own there are likely to be plenty out there. You’re missing out on a lot though (apart from the cleaning, that’s shite! And rarely gets done in our house) 🙂

Basically it’s all mind games with women, it’s all OK though they often say one thing and mean another, which is effectively lying, so you might as well do the same back…

Ultimately though not all women are the same, some posters seem to have very understanding missus’s, my wife is not a practical/pragmatic person (Much like the OP), she will geet very animated if I screw up her plans but think nothing of pissing all over my parade if I want to go out for a ride, the best solution is to plan and let her know what and when I plan to do, f I’m going to be gone for a Day at some point this weekend I make sure I let her know ASAP…

Once you start putting up with this behaviour you are effectively under the thumb.

My girlfriend is very demanding and we have had many arguments about me riding. Same situation applies, she thinks she can do what she wants, but if I want to do something all hell breaks loose.

After some time she seems to have got the message that I need my own time alone, away from her and I am going to take it regardless of how much of a fuss she makes.

Never give in to a woman’s unreasonable behaviour. Ever.

Have you thought about getting another girlfriend? That would do my head in a bit. The OP has 3 kids though, there just won’t be a great deal of spare time for either of them…

It’s not about being under the thumb, looking after children is hard work and it’s only right that I do my share. I would love to ride more, but it is a struggle at the moment.Also I think it depends where you live, if there is great riding on your door step you can get a riding fix without using too much time, but as soon as you stick an hours travel at each end it becomes a long time out.

I’m already feeling guilty about my bank holiday Inners trip, I know if I was me looking after our baby three days straight I would find it tough.

I have a good life, married for 8 years & 1 child aged 7. I share responsibility throughout lifestyle & respect plans. I get to ride whenever I like because my wife, bless her, knows that I love it.

What loving partner would deny you something which you like to do if you have been pulling your weight in the house? That’s just unfair…

My girlfriend loves cooking, so when I go out riding she makes the dinner and often gets a wee apple crumble on the go as well. She tells me to go out and have fun, and to make sure and invite the lads I ride with back for dinner after.

Obviously no guilt here!

I willing to bet 90% of the people scoffing in this thread about “being under the thumb”, or “lololol i’d never ask a woman for anything” are either:

A) Virgins

B) Single

or

C) Single Virgins

It’s not about being under the thumb, looking after children is hard work and it’s only right that I do my share

That’s how they get you – Right there.

Hard work is hard work, looking after kids is a pleasure and a doddle to boot.