Who farts In the Office?

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  • Who farts In the Office?
  • Liftman
    Member

    We wait till four o clock when our office admin leaves then we release the fury ๐Ÿ˜ณ

    Premier Icon binners
    Subscriber

    I go and do it in the (small) kitchen. This regularly leads to people sending emails around requesting people kindly remove any out-of-date/rotting food from the fridge, as there’s an unholy aroma in there.

    Muhahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ๐Ÿ‘ฟ

    jota180
    Member

    I do all the time – I do work from home mind ๐Ÿ™‚

    I wouldn’t hold a fart in anyway, office or not

    uwe-r
    Member

    My job involves a lot of lunching with clients folowed by afternoons spent dissipating fart smells around the office.

    nbt
    Member

    If I didn;t I’d float!

    butcher
    Member

    I’m holding one in right now.

    I just snuck out a crafty little one.

    Ha! @ Binners. Good tactics

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    I’ll be out on the real ale tonight, so I expect tomorrow I’ll be turning the air brown.

    headfirst
    Member

    As a teacher, letting rip opportunities are slim unless you are absolutely certain it’ll be an SBD. In which case, one positions oneself next to the most annoying little brat, does the deed, moves away and watch the little scrote get the blame for it. Always makes my day.

    docrobster
    Member

    I do it all the time and blame the smell on the last patient ๐Ÿ‘ฟ

    Premier Icon edsbike
    Subscriber

    Guy next to me does it loudly and regularly and doesn’t understand when no one reacts when he looks round expecting laughs and a round of applause. Grotty old ****.

    Ho hum
    Member

    Wherever you may be let your wind gang free!

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    Guy next to me does it loudly and regularly and doesn’t understand when no one reacts when he looks round expecting laughs and a round of applause. Grotty old ****.

    At least he’s honest, rather than being underhand and blaming someone else.

    emma82
    Member

    me but I have an office all to my little old self so I’m safe

    Kuco
    Member

    A few of us at work do it. You know when its bad when its outside and everyone walks away ๐Ÿ™‚ But I do blame mine on medication ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    Does anyone *not* do it?

    Seems weird to me. Might as well ask, “so, who breathes at the office?”

    stanfree
    Member

    I fart whilst Im driving my train at work , but was caught out this morning when the guard chapped at the window and the reek billowed out. ๐Ÿ˜ณ

    brakes
    Member

    never.
    people complain when it’s 1 degree too hot or if the air is a little too dry.
    people would be apoplectic if someone made an anal announcement.

    Premier Icon on and on
    Subscriber

    It’s a tough one in my office. I end up ‘rebreathing’ them and letting out on mass every toilet visit.
    The office chairs are made of mesh so produce a high pitch squeeeeeeel when releasing a sly one.

    10pmix
    Member

    My old boss used to think it was the most amusing thing to let rip the most ear splitting trouser coughs in an office full of people he didn’t know. Was never sure what to say so just tried to ignore him…

    Mooly
    Member

    Just thought i`d ask as in mine there seems to be some strange odours floating around today.
    Thats all.

    soobalias
    Member

    guy that sits behind me does, most often silent.

    my nose twitches and when i spin round he has left the office, thats usually a split second before the odour sensitive air freshener jumps into action.

    dirty bastid.

    he got a Johnny Fart Pants mug in the secret santa last year, seems to be getting the hint.

    curvature
    Member

    Quality topic…just had me in stitches.

    Lucky for me my colleague is adept at letting a few go too!

    My best ever though was walking into the car park down at Excel in London. Just as he opened the door I did a spectacular rendition of a tug boat…the two girls at the ticket machine just looked at him in disgust!!

    Anyway such childish behaviour is not big or clever!!!

    Premier Icon househusband
    Subscriber

    Well the pupils do it and take great pride in their creations… so why the hell shouldn’t I?

    Premier Icon plumslikerocks
    Subscriber

    depends who else is around. call me old fashioned but I don’t in front of ladies. also try not to in front of those who don’t return the compliment. however the the gloves are off when the boss is around as he sees it has his way of being all “alpha”…

    mattk
    Member

    sitting in the corner means I have nowhere to let one go, as they’ll know its me. my only option is silent crop dusting

    cynic-al
    Member

    Real men/women do it in the lift ๐Ÿ˜Ž

    ask1974
    Member

    If I didn;t I’d float!

    Very good… Made me giggle that did.

    organic355
    Member

    Real men/women do it in the lift

    That’s wrong on so many levels.

    IGMC

    Premier Icon timidwheeler
    Subscriber

    Real men/women do it in the lift

    That’s wrong on so many levels.

    Lol

    duckman
    Member

    Just like headfirst I unload next to the horrible wee scrote in my classroom..Poor wee buggers,I eat loads of soup and veg as well… ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

    Premier Icon Stoner
    Subscriber

    after a heavy bout of real ale the night before, I was once deploying the most horrendous smell bombs in my team’s cubicle. Fortunately all but one were out of the office. The smell got too much for my team-member and I so we went outside for a coffee.

    When we came back in, someone from a cubicle the other side of the office had called the janitor in, who was now rummaging around in the ductwork “looking for a dead rat”. I made my excuses and left.

    hugor
    Member

    I prefer anonymity myself.
    Fortunately I don’t work at a desk so there are plenty of cropdusting opportunities.
    A few weeks ago I was walking down the main drag in town cropdusting with every step.
    Unfortunately it was much louder than I anticipated.
    I looked behind and there was a homeless guy walking along who looked like he’d had a pretty rough night. He looked up at me and said “thanks mate, that’s all I needed!”.

    qwerty
    Member

    Just to clarify, are we talking front bottom or rear bottom here? Front bottom fish farts have gotta be up there on the trumps ratings.

    Mooly
    Member

    eeuuww!!!!!

    nbt
    Member

    cropdusting with every step.

    AKA smuggling ducks (ยฉ Binners)

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    Twice today someone’s come over to talk to me about ten seconds after I’d quietly unleashed an eggy landmine. Worse, one of them introduced himself as we’d never met before.

    Zulu-Eleven
    Member

    We used to wear things like this at work:

    Which was a high risk policy – as you could sneak up behind someone and leave them a present that was sucked straight into their dust filter… but at the same time you would subject yourself to a significant risk of collaterol damage ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

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