My son’s teacher wants me to come and either sing or read a story for the class (being offcomers, we are something of a curiosity). I can play guitar and have a stack of kids’ book – any ideas?

The Quangle Wangle’s Hat.

Or The Ace of Spades.

Anything Julia Donaldson I would recommend. They rhyme well and if you can show them the pictures, have fun illustrations. Personally I like reading “Squash & A Squeeze” and my lad really enjoys it. Other favourites of his would be “What the ladybird heard” or “Zog”.

I managed to teach my (then) three year old to sing When The Evening Sun Goes Down*. Possibly not suitable for nursery.

+1 for Julia Donaldson though they will all be familiar with the Gruffalo, the Gruffalo’s Child, Room on the Broom and Stick Man.

*the HMHB one, not Van Morrison.

Mr Brownstone. Always popular with the younger audience.

I really like reading the scarecrows wedding. The rhymes have a wonderful flow. I like “GRRR” too.

Moose T

Fox in socks! Try reading it with your little ones and you’ll fall about laughing.

There can be only one…

Here’s one I wrote about not having a proper GPS.

Logged my ride on my phone
On my way home
But I didn’t
It was disappointing

Proper GPS proper GPS
My life’s a mess
cos I don’t got no
Proper GPS

Remember this kids
Or your ride will diss-
Appear
Like a tear

Proper GPS proper GPS
My life’s a mess
cos I don’t got no
Proper GPS

Puff the Magic Dragon

Stabiliser I just properly spat my dinner out! Just need to come up with the chord progression

Polly Jean pyjama queen!

Heh heh

(your childs nursery teachers may or may not see the funny side)

See also This Is Not My Hat or the hotly anticipated (by me okay?) follow up We Found a Hat.

Farmer Duck.

Love “I want my hat back” but kids are now too old.

Fix It Duck by Jez Alborough might work.

I think ‘what the ladybird heard’ by Julia Donaldson comes with musical annotation so that it can be sung

I’d go with Yellow Submarine though personally

Surely the Berenstein Bears, the Bike Lesson.

I like the Gruffalo.

Sing ’em a made up song about an adventure you had when you were their age. Perhaps something about a fairy who granted you wishes, or a climb up a mountain. Kids love drama.

1001 recommends for squirrellking’s suggestion.

I do a reasonable effort of the “ladybird heard” in a country and western stylee. Reasonable to me at least. 😐
Failing that, to cement your place in local history it needs to be “Anarchy in the UK”.

thanks for the ideas, I’m leaning towards a song and Anarchy in the UK was the first one I ever learnt, so….!

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWXazVhlyxQ[/video]
Followed by a swift drop of the mic then he will show them who is boss

How about this, their teacher will thank you for it…

Go the F*ck to sleep

Octopus’s Garden?

We have a Julia Donaldson cd with stories and them redone in songs any of them would work

I absolutely love ‘Paper dolls’ by Julia Donaldson. Oh and all of the Hairy Maclary but particularly Zachary Quack.

Or Stickman. A love story for kids.

Little Rabbit Foo-Foo is a good one; “Little Rabbit Foo-Foo, riding through the forest, scooping up the wiggly worms . . . and BOPPING THEM ON THE HEAD!”

This one was always amusing:

Although this one is probably better:

“Squash and a Squeeze” in calypso style. My kids usually beg me to stop…

My friend Billy had a 10 foot willy
So he showed it to the girl next door
She thought it was a snake
So she hit it with a rake
And now its only 2 foot 4

Sorted.

I Want My Hat Back is genius.

The Swimming Song, by Eddi Reader; the first time I saw her play live, not long after Fairground Attraction had split up, she’d just sung it on Blue Peter, so very much a song kids can appreciate.
[video]https://youtu.be/HYb-bOFAEAw[/video]

Oh and all of the Hairy Maclary but particularly Zachary Quack.

It was drowsily warm, with dozens of bees, lazily buzzing through flowers and trees….

Blissful.

Plop goes the drop that drips in the cup.
Duck looks down and duck looks up.
A leak in the roof! Oh what bad luck.
This is a job for FIX IT DUCK!!.

That just dredged up from the back of my brain. You can get the kids to shout out at the right time, they love it!

At that age (as in, my daughter can testify) they only give a rats crap about one thing *

*ask me to sing it, I know all the words, whether I want to or not

Apart from my lad, they all speak foreign innit, so actual content isn’t too important!

thanks for the ideas, I’m leaning towards Yellow Submarine and a short story, perhaps: