Just had a sleep over for my youngest daughter’s 13th. Been told by one child that their mum will ‘be having words with us’ when she picks up as we removed all phones and ipads from the bedroom as is our house rule – then told them off when they went and took them back from the room we’d put them in. We even left it till 10pm – normally we take devices 2 hrs before bedtime.

This morning one girl is refusing to eat anything because we have no sliced white bread or crunchy nut cornflakes – despite having a load of other kid friendly cereal (cinnamenies, tropical granola etc) which we bought specially. They are also talking loudly about our milk only being semi-skimmed when everybody knows its fattening and we should only drink fully skimmed or some other nonsense which has even less fat.

This after one parent told me her daughter will only at maragarita pizza and tesco curly fries (which we duly bought as its a birthday party and we didn’t want it spoiled)

WTF is wrong with people? No wonder there are no normal kids left with parents bending to every whim of these little demons.

Or are we the abnormal ones for having rules that are enforced in our house and ensuring a healthy varied diet for our children?

Or are we the abnormal ones for having rules that are enforced in our house and ensuring a healthy varied diet for our children?

This, weirdo

kids are bonkers, our granddaughter (2 and a bit) turn her nose up at triple cooked chips and ketchup but later had a double helping of thai green chicken curry and sticky rice.

All those **** we knew at school have had kids and their double **** kids have produced quadruple **** kids.

Is this your first encounter with humans?

Been told by one child that their mum will ‘be having words with us’ when she picks up as we removed all phones and ipads from the bedroom as is our house rule

The usual reasoning given for this is that otherwise it would be difficult for the child to contact their parent for an emergency middle-of the-night extraction should the sleepover go wrong. Besides which, it’s not your phone, is it.

Surprisingly (or not), these are real world reasons, served up by real world mums.

I suggest that in future you agree the rules of engagement before allowing the kid’s parents to drop them off.

HTH.

So some kids disobeyed instructions from parents and played with their toys when they were told not to, then they got fussy about food. Sounds normal to me.

Yeah of course it’s for them to contact their mum. Its not at all for them to play Roblox and watch you tube all night long. If they need to reach their parents in an emergency they know where the landline is. Next?

It sounds like you have a healthy attitude and we would do the same, the only difference would be as someone mentioned above, we tend to set ground rules beforehand about food, electronic devices etc. I genuinely don’t think parents realise how damaging their lifestyles are for their children.

I started off like you mate, after numerous sleepovers (Which thankfully seem to have petered out!) you realise you just need to roll with it a bit.

And it’s not my job to feed folks fussy kids, if a kid doesn’t eat pizza for tea, or normal breakfast stuff*, then tough. They’re free to help themselves to the fruit bowl. 😊

Wee shites.
* not cereal, I wouldn’t feed that to a dog.

Its not at all for them to play Roblox and watch you tube all night long

It was a sleepover, not a school dormitory. They’re 13, of course they’re going to want to stay up all night mucking about and that’s *exactly* why they want to have one.

Treating it like a school night is not really your job on this occasion – it’s to keep them safe, feed them whatever they want and accept you’ll not get much sleep.

Those sound like “normal” 13y old girls being fussy about food, rebelling against authority, expecting a sleepover to be an all night party rather than involving sleep. Do you not recall what 13y old girls were like when you were that age?

The amazing thing is you expected kids to eat granola and whatever cinnamenies are (although congrats that seems to be a new googlewhack which is a very rare thing in 2020).

load of other kid friendly cereal (cinnamenies, tropical granola etc)

Errrr! My kids don’t like cinnamon cereal things or granola your kids are weird, bacon sandwiches here and on sleepovers rules are relaxed that’s kind part of the excitement for the kids.

I think you’re being confused by the word “sleep” in “sleepover”. Let them do what they want, they’ll eventually drift off around 3am and they won’t be awake in time for breakfast, so another problem solved.

@wwaswas – you make a good point. To be fair, we left them to it and went to bed ourselves well before they did. The device thing is just a bit ingrained as I hate them in the bedroom and kids (even mine) spend WAY too much time on them – hell, so do I.

The food thing really bugs me as there is massive problem with healthy eating in the UK and it feeds (no pun intended) into most other aspects of life in general.

Personally, I’m all on board with the OPs intentions.

However. party sleepovers we tend to let things slide re devices and assume that there will be little sleep, but it’s the kids that will suffer. We do give them strict warnings about pics and social media.

If friends are just staying over, then our “no screens in bedrooms” rule is enforced. But they know that in advance, we check re fussy eaters, but ours aren’t perfect either.

Scout and Guide camps are fun – nop phones or tablets rule, then wait to see which parent contacts you first to tell you that little Johnny/Maisy is unhappy and wants to come home. Maybe if little Johnny/Maisy had obeyed the rule, not used their device and joined in with the other activities, they’d be feeling a bit happier

Your roof, your rules.

Food fussiness is par for the course I suppose, but regarding electronic devices, I don’t think they’ve been part of our way of life for long enough for there to be any societal norms that are accepted by the majority of people, which is where the friction occurs. It’s surreal to me that parents don’t strictly control such a potentially harmful item, but someone else will be thinking the exact opposite, and plenty more people somewhere in between. We haven’t yet reached consensus point on electronic etiquette.

Blimey I’m glad I don’t have kids and need to worry about all this stuff. Sounds a bit of a minefield to me. Not sure anyone can win when everyone has such different ways of parenting their kids. I do think however that when they stay in someone else’s house they should definitely abide by their rules. It’s only for one night.

They are still learning the rules of engagement. Today they learned that:

Not everyone has the same rules at home

They are not the centre of the universe

You go hungry if you don’t eat what is offered

The food thing really bugs me as there is massive problem with healthy eating in the UK and it feeds (no pun intended) into most other aspects of life in general.

One night off for Beatrix from her couscous with pomegranate and sunflower seeds isn’t going to do any real harm. Pringles, Percy pigs and pop overload will be fine for one night.

The Scout example is interesting. I’m a scout leader and even though kids have had phones for years it is only recently that there has been a problem with them always wanting them with them. Like most troops we ban phones at meetings and on camp unless its for emergency use and that was never (or rarely)an issue. Over the last year or so we have seen a massive increase in kids ignoring us or kicking off when phones are removed. They all know the rules and they haven’t changed in 5 years.

What ever the software and hardware companies are doing its turning phones from ‘cool devices’ into basically crack cocaine

@winston – think it’s the societal change from “toy” to “lifeline”, which is sad. Seems to be that bigger camps with more activities there are fewer issues than the odd night away locally. And depends on the kids – eldest went to WSJ last year in the States for 3 weeks, was pretty obvious a couple in his group were messaging parents daily, he didn’t contact us directly but we did see his pics in the WhatsApp group

I think all parents should help out at their local scout group, you’ll soon realise you’re own kids are pretty good and that there’s some weirdos out there (kids and parents)

WJS was a bit of a special case though – having your child in the US for 3 weeks among thousands of others would have most parents hyperventilating without frequent contact these days. Things have changed a lot. When I went off round the world in the early 90’s I called my parents once or perhaps twice in a year, now my friends kids whats-app daily from Chang Mai

What ever the software and hardware companies are doing its turning phones from ‘cool devices’ into basically crack cocaine

It feeds addictive behaviour by constant serotonin boosting from those moments of pleasure / feeling a part of things and also the games are designed in this way ie you “win” lots of small things / stages

Thus when you stop it you no longer have that serotonin boost and feel “down” – they reset “normal” to a state of constant small serotonin boosts

No hyperventilating from us 🙂

Peak jamboree in July – wife is on staff team this year as other leaders are taking her unit, daughter will be with her unit, eldest will be away at NSGSO that same week, the only one who will contact me as they need something will be the wife

a load of other kid friendly cereal (cinnamenies, tropical granola etc)

Whit? Proper lol.

Yeah of course it’s for them to contact their mum. Its not at all for them to play Roblox and watch you tube all night long.

As said, I think you’re missing the entire point. A sleepover isn’t about sleeping, it’s about getting to dick around with your mates far later than normal, waking up knackered the next day and having an easy Sunday before you go back to school. Don’t worry though, I don’t think they’ll be asking for one again any time soon.

If they need to reach their parents in an emergency they know where the landline is.

That’s funny…. They would have no idea how to use it or what number to call.

Sorry but I think you’re going to be in for a hard few years as your 13yo gets older, wiser and more independent.

Absolutely fine having your house rules for your kids (and well done for getting them to stick to them so far) but I’m not sure about imposing them on others.
As said, it was a party sleepover, so maybe normal house rules shouldn’t apply…it’s only for one night.
So, instead of being ‘cool’ and relaxed for the night, your daughter now thinks you’ve embarrassed her in front of her friends.

If they need to reach their parents in an emergency they know where the landline is. Next?

Most unreasonable thing in this thread. Who has a landline in 2020?

I’m most amused that half the group is too healthy for semi-skimmed milk* and the other half demand pizza and curly fries. I guess 13 is right at the kid to teenage transition.

*I didn’t even realise people bought the other types. Thought they were just there on the shelves to reaffirm that semi-skimmed is always the correct choice.

Lol whatever – took them dry slope skiing yesterday and they all loved it. Bought hover shoes and blu-tooth led headphones which light up in time to the music….WITH CAT EARS!!!   All my daughters friends want the exact same presents for thier birthdays and think my  daughter has the coolest parents who are a bit strict. All of them have slept over many times before and will do so again I’m sure.

The mobile phone and food issues are getting worse the older they get though and that what what I was highlighting.

As for ‘a few years time’…..I have older children who are already well into their teenage years thanks.

You think tropical granola is a kid cereal- that’s your problem right there 😉

There are no normal kids.

Weird is the new normal.

Normal is the new weird

@db  It is in our house. And my kids like sprouts too! (though one hates parsnips and another won’t touch onions – can’t all be perfect!)  Don’t talk to me about the veggie one.</span>

Have we worked out what the cinnammenes are yet?

I always wonder if as parents there is much thought about what we did when we were kids. Compared to me and my brother my kids are angels.
When we have sleep overs, which is fairly often with my girls, if it’s a celebration then there’s not much sleep happening. If they want to eat junk for breakfast that’s fine with me, for a celebration. (My kids and their friends just finished a pretty gruelling cross country running season yesterday, they were treated to an afternoon in one of those dessert only restaurants. Totally unhealthy, but it’s a treat, which is the same as a celebration sleep over, a one off treat.

So, the answer to the OP is “everywhere”. Don’t try to impose your version of “normal” onto others.

Control – gaining it, keeping it, maintaining it. Even more difficult when kids or animals are involved. It’s a **** tightrope, one slip and…. whooooooooosh!

Thank **** neither the kids or animals know how tenuous our grasp of control really is.

Or, we learn to roll with it 😁

Just for drac

The very progressive and wacky cereal choice. 100% processed sugar and by far the most popular choice in our house by those under 15 when allowed.

I guess this is fundamentally a question or lesson in when and how normal rules are broken or bent and how they then get reapplied after ??

For Winston, perhaps an observation made by Voltaire in his “Letters Regarding the English” is an interesting perspective. Earliest letters are regarding Quakers whom he greatly admired in many ways yet observed that (my phrasing) better to break rules within limits

What I find disturbing is not kids wanting to play with mobile devices all night but that they somehow need to be in contact with their parents from their parents perspective.

Ah! Cheers I thought you meant those. Can’t say my kids or any of their friends have asked for them.