..do you ever rest easy again?
Dear daughter is at the age where her mates are passing their tests and getting cars, absolutely fills me with dread every time she now says “Oh yeah x is driving” I appreciate it’s a vigorous test but it does worry me. Am I alone in these thoughts?

“Dear Daughter” perilously close to Mumsnet…

Erm, less than when I was that age probably, kids these days seem more grown up somehow, almost boring compared to us… plus cars are generally safer, roads busier so if they do have a prang is more likely to be a slower, everyone going in the same direction type thing rather than Gav trying to drive the local unofficial race-track / country lane like Nigel Mansel in his 1.6 MK2 Astra after a couple of soapbar spliffs and ending up with the engine on his lap after meeting his doppleganger coming the other way.

Doesn’t make is easier though I know – take some comfort from the fact that sensible kids generally drive sensibly and try to manage who she lets drive her if you can.

I’m mostly worried when she is in a car driven by one of her male friends. I don’t know if it’s still the case but for years the #1 cause of death for young women was accidents in cars driven by young men.

<span class=”pFQiGc”>I believe the children are our future </span>
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier…

To learn to drive..

🤣👍🚗

Buy her a Volvo V70 and pay her fuel bill – safest ‘older’ car by some margin. It’s the sort car my nippers will have when the time comes…

Tricky as they need their freedom… I had zero concerns about my daughter’s driving but my son probably picked up on my own bad habits over the years so he does worry me a bit behind the wheel although after 2 years he is still unscathed, and the car.

The only advice I could give is not buy them an old banger. We bought a 1 year old 1.0 Yaris for £7k 3 years ago and bizarrely they still seem to change hands for around £5k. Their friends bought bangers after bangers that have cost far more overall and had nowhere near the active and passive safety of the Toyota, plus were nowhere near as economical both in mpg and insurance terms.

we teach this to pre drivers http://www.safedrive.org.uk/ loads of videos on you tube about it. always told my son never ever get in a car that the driver has been drinking, taking drugs or drives like a ****. We will pay for a taxi no matter where you are.

Wife and I watched this with both my sons.

They are both sensible drivers now, if any of this has made difference I’ll never know, but we did our parenting bit to try.

<sigh>

****

= a person regarded as stupid or obnoxious.

not sure what the mods think it means 🙄 seen much worse on here. hey ho!

Like Bruneep,we did something similar with our two boys,talked through all the real world senarios, mostly because …

for years the #1 cause of death for young women was accidents in cars driven by young men.

, and there was a time in Fife when teenagers were getting wiped out every other month. My OH had to do some of the grief counselling with some survivors and friends.It brings home the full impact of these accidents.

Eldest is learning now. A few classmates and workmates already do.
We have always told our lot we will pick them up from a party/work/avoid dodgy situation on an agreed text code. He used it a fortnight ago to avoid getting lift home from work…

Or deeply worries me – two of his pals have written off cars already. One of his pals, who I know well, seems to just not understand the laws of physics that govern cornering…

Our lad (and second one) is really sensible, and gets his thrills on a bike. The youngest however…

Got the text to say they had arrived in town safely, only out for food which is good. Daughter starts her lessons in 4 weeks time when she hits 17.

My parents had a fit when we were younger and had a day out in Weston-Super-Mare with my newly qualified mate and returned home late (pre-mobile pohone days).My eldest passed his test about 6 months ago and it all made sense!

He drove himself and his brother to Newport velodrome last week and I think my mum stressed more about that than anything else I have known.

It can be a worry, but it is also handy for a lift home when you want to have a drink!

My kids were told they could ring us at any time n the small hours and we would come and pick them up, no pack drill, no repercussions.

I didn’t want them taking lifts from people who had been drinking (or worse), or who had been up half the night and needed sleep, ie almost every circumstance.

It was quite trying at times… 🙂

Trying to get my 17yo son interested in driving is akin to trying to get him interested in going to book reading evenings. It’s the same for all his mates ,too. I suppose it’s a side effect of growing up in a city.

Never worried. They are both sensible drivers. Even in what is a relatively rapid and small vehicle. Youngest flies a plane. He’s the VERY sensible sort!

Middle of 3girls has passed test for 3yrs?happy enough with her driving of more concern is the 0000s of morons out there untaxed uninsured unthinking as above bigger worry is any of them getting lifts from male friends youngest and eldest are learning but needs expectations managing for costs of using car should be much harder to get driving licences I wouldn’t want to learn now with the huge numbers now on the road since approx.1978😫

always told my son never ever get in a car that the driver has been drinking, taking drugs or drives like a ****. We will pay for a taxi no matter where you are.

+1

How many of you are model drivers when your kids are in the car? How many of you won’t drive even if you’ve had only one? IME the way your kids drive when they’re 18 will reflect how you’ve driven all those times they’ve been in the passenger seat.

if be more worried about what she gets up to while the car is stationary parked up a country lane with bf/Gfs

Don’t all new drivers need black box to make the insurance even half way affordable? If you were really bothered you could make it a condition of having a car

Youngest flies a plane. He’s the VERY sensible sort!

I learnt to fly long before I could drive!
Was doing aerobatics (with an instructor obviously) aged 14 in the RAF Cadets at school, I’d flown gliders solo by the time I was 17.

I reckon it helped immensely when I finally got around to learning to drive (aged almost 18!). I think my cycling helped as well, it gave me a good sense of road safety, distance/speed calculations etc.

Passed first time.
My sister (who did none of the cycling / flying stuff that I did) took 4 attempts to pass.

Back when I was learning, it was very much seen as being the cool thing to be able to drive. Now many of the teenage kids that I know don’t really seem to care too much about it.

I’d definitley opt for your sister as driver rather than you, Crazy-legs. I bet she’s never had a serious accident.

When my nephew passed his test we were at my brother’s house and his wife was a bag of nerves saying “I’m just waiting for the call.”
The call came the next day. Crashed his car on a bend and killed his lifelong best friend.
It happens.
We were all indestructible at that age and even this age but we all need to remember IT DOES HAPPEN.

Never worried. They are both sensible drivers. Even in what is a relatively rapid and small vehicle.

I was always a sensible driver when my parents were in the car. Drove like a loon when they weren’t.

STR Jnr has just got back from York – drove there and back in the dark, via motorways. She passed last May, her first drive after passing was bringing her first car home, following me down the M1.

I tend not to worry too much, Mrs STR never stops fretting.

She’s got a black box, which is showing no dangerous or erratic driving and (touch wood), she’s had no dings yet. Fortunately though, she doesn’t get in cars with young lads very often.

No, I have flashbacks of pulling dead teenagers out of cars I’ll be shitting myself. My eldest wanted to go to a concert with her friends, an older kid offered to drive. It was an absolute outright no.

Yeah probably oversensitive but there’s some horrible memories in my head.

My eldest wanted to go to a concert with her friends, an older kid offered to drive. It was an absolute outright no.

Understandable but did you take them all then sit outside and sleep in the car till it was time to take them home. Bin there, done that.

My boss brought in a newspaper article last year. Summary was along the lines of:
Young driver = 2x more likely to crash.
First year = 2x more than young driver.
Passenger = 2x again
Passenger 2 = 2x again
Passenger 3 = 2x again
Dark = 2x again
Male = 2x again

So just passed lad with pals in dark = be very worried.

Understandable but did you take them all then sit outside and sleep in the car till it was time to take them home. Bin there, done that.

I was prepared for her to by train then I’d pick them up but they decided not to go anyway.

Dreading this stage when my three are only a couple of years older…

IME the way your kids drive when they’re 18 will reflect how you’ve driven all those times they’ve been in the passenger seat.

Not always. My father was a thrill seeker who drove fast. His father was a Jaguar works teat driver in the days of unrestricted roads and would take an E Type out of Browns Lane and down to Torquay sea front for lunch and back. As one did. My father died in a car crash at 29. I passed my Advanced driving test at 18 in my first car. I’ve driven sensibly ever since.

I think the more recent testing gives much better driver preparation that my test 30 years ago. My two are very aware of the dangers of driving.

She’s got a black box, which is showing no dangerous or erratic driving

They’re not that sensitive IME. Son had a hard collision (not his fault) that resulted in pretty much a new front on his car. All that the tracker shows is one instance of “braking”, but otherwise smooth driving

I think that you probably know your child and their attitude to risk better than any gadget, and you getting an occasional lift to the shops or pub will reinforce that 😉

Bruneep’s videos are a good idea imo.

“for years the #1 cause of death for young women was accidents in cars driven by young men”

Sadly this was the case for my missus’ sister. Scarred the family for life.
Will never forget the late night call…

Son passed back in October. He has a policy coming up just after he finishes college in July. He’s been told he can use the money for a car, but must have the insurance paid for (he has a part time job).

Ultimately a car is a lot safer than a motorbike.

I can well remember driving around in my mate’s Singer Vogue borrowed from his mum when I was 18 and a couple of close shaves caused entirely by inappropriate speed. I also drove my parents’ car and had one minor prang when I rear-ended a car at a roundabout when the driver changed his mind but apart from that, a few close shaves but nothing serious, thank God.

10 months to go before my daughter starts driving – soooo looking forward to getting shitloads of time back! 🙂

My daughter had her first lesson last week.

Mixed feelings, probably best describes my reaction 🙂

Our daughter has not learned to drive she is 26 and lives in Cambridge so doesn’t feel there is a need.
When she was 16 happened to mention she was going to Paris for the weekend, this was just the start of her many travels, usually alone on public transport, so if they don’t drive the stress can still be there.