- When your kids and their mates start to drive..
..do you ever rest easy again?Posted 6 months ago
Dear daughter is at the age where her mates are passing their tests and getting cars, absolutely fills me with dread every time she now says “Oh yeah x is driving” I appreciate it’s a vigorous test but it does worry me. Am I alone in these thoughts?P-JayMember
“Dear Daughter” perilously close to Mumsnet…
Erm, less than when I was that age probably, kids these days seem more grown up somehow, almost boring compared to us… plus cars are generally safer, roads busier so if they do have a prang is more likely to be a slower, everyone going in the same direction type thing rather than Gav trying to drive the local unofficial race-track / country lane like Nigel Mansel in his 1.6 MK2 Astra after a couple of soapbar spliffs and ending up with the engine on his lap after meeting his doppleganger coming the other way.
Doesn’t make is easier though I know – take some comfort from the fact that sensible kids generally drive sensibly and try to manage who she lets drive her if you can.Posted 6 months agonickfrogMember
Tricky as they need their freedom… I had zero concerns about my daughter’s driving but my son probably picked up on my own bad habits over the years so he does worry me a bit behind the wheel although after 2 years he is still unscathed, and the car.
The only advice I could give is not buy them an old banger. We bought a 1 year old 1.0 Yaris for £7k 3 years ago and bizarrely they still seem to change hands for around £5k. Their friends bought bangers after bangers that have cost far more overall and had nowhere near the active and passive safety of the Toyota, plus were nowhere near as economical both in mpg and insurance terms.Posted 6 months agobruneepSubscriber
we teach this to pre drivers http://www.safedrive.org.uk/ loads of videos on you tube about it. always told my son never ever get in a car that the driver has been drinking, taking drugs or drives like a ****. We will pay for a taxi no matter where you are.
Wife and I watched this with both my sons.
They are both sensible drivers now, if any of this has made difference I’ll never know, but we did our parenting bit to try.Posted 6 months agofasthaggisMember
Like Bruneep,we did something similar with our two boys,talked through all the real world senarios, mostly because …
for years the #1 cause of death for young women was accidents in cars driven by young men.
, and there was a time in Fife when teenagers were getting wiped out every other month. My OH had to do some of the grief counselling with some survivors and friends.It brings home the full impact of these accidents.Posted 6 months agomatt_outandaboutSubscriber
Eldest is learning now. A few classmates and workmates already do.
We have always told our lot we will pick them up from a party/work/avoid dodgy situation on an agreed text code. He used it a fortnight ago to avoid getting lift home from work…
Or deeply worries me – two of his pals have written off cars already. One of his pals, who I know well, seems to just not understand the laws of physics that govern cornering…
Our lad (and second one) is really sensible, and gets his thrills on a bike. The youngest however…Posted 6 months agoeskayMember
My parents had a fit when we were younger and had a day out in Weston-Super-Mare with my newly qualified mate and returned home late (pre-mobile pohone days).My eldest passed his test about 6 months ago and it all made sense!
He drove himself and his brother to Newport velodrome last week and I think my mum stressed more about that than anything else I have known.
It can be a worry, but it is also handy for a lift home when you want to have a drink!Posted 6 months agoepicycloSubscriber
My kids were told they could ring us at any time n the small hours and we would come and pick them up, no pack drill, no repercussions.
I didn’t want them taking lifts from people who had been drinking (or worse), or who had been up half the night and needed sleep, ie almost every circumstance.
It was quite trying at times… 🙂Posted 6 months agojag61Subscriber
Middle of 3girls has passed test for 3yrs?happy enough with her driving of more concern is the 0000s of morons out there untaxed uninsured unthinking as above bigger worry is any of them getting lifts from male friends youngest and eldest are learning but needs expectations managing for costs of using car should be much harder to get driving licences I wouldn’t want to learn now with the huge numbers now on the road since approx.1978😫Posted 6 months ago
always told my son never ever get in a car that the driver has been drinking, taking drugs or drives like a ****. We will pay for a taxi no matter where you are.
How many of you are model drivers when your kids are in the car? How many of you won’t drive even if you’ve had only one? IME the way your kids drive when they’re 18 will reflect how you’ve driven all those times they’ve been in the passenger seat.Posted 6 months agocrazy-legsSubscriber
Youngest flies a plane. He’s the VERY sensible sort!
I learnt to fly long before I could drive!
Was doing aerobatics (with an instructor obviously) aged 14 in the RAF Cadets at school, I’d flown gliders solo by the time I was 17.
I reckon it helped immensely when I finally got around to learning to drive (aged almost 18!). I think my cycling helped as well, it gave me a good sense of road safety, distance/speed calculations etc.
Passed first time.
My sister (who did none of the cycling / flying stuff that I did) took 4 attempts to pass.
Back when I was learning, it was very much seen as being the cool thing to be able to drive. Now many of the teenage kids that I know don’t really seem to care too much about it.Posted 6 months agozippykonaSubscriber
When my nephew passed his test we were at my brother’s house and his wife was a bag of nerves saying “I’m just waiting for the call.”Posted 6 months ago
The call came the next day. Crashed his car on a bend and killed his lifelong best friend.
We were all indestructible at that age and even this age but we all need to remember IT DOES HAPPEN.TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsSTRSubscriber
STR Jnr has just got back from York – drove there and back in the dark, via motorways. She passed last May, her first drive after passing was bringing her first car home, following me down the M1.
I tend not to worry too much, Mrs STR never stops fretting.
She’s got a black box, which is showing no dangerous or erratic driving and (touch wood), she’s had no dings yet. Fortunately though, she doesn’t get in cars with young lads very often.Posted 6 months agoDracSubscriber
No, I have flashbacks of pulling dead teenagers out of cars I’ll be shitting myself. My eldest wanted to go to a concert with her friends, an older kid offered to drive. It was an absolute outright no.
Yeah probably oversensitive but there’s some horrible memories in my head.Posted 6 months agomatt_outandaboutSubscriber
My boss brought in a newspaper article last year. Summary was along the lines of:
Young driver = 2x more likely to crash.
First year = 2x more than young driver.
Passenger = 2x again
Passenger 2 = 2x again
Passenger 3 = 2x again
Dark = 2x again
Male = 2x again
So just passed lad with pals in dark = be very worried.Posted 6 months agoTiRedMember
IME the way your kids drive when they’re 18 will reflect how you’ve driven all those times they’ve been in the passenger seat.
Not always. My father was a thrill seeker who drove fast. His father was a Jaguar works teat driver in the days of unrestricted roads and would take an E Type out of Browns Lane and down to Torquay sea front for lunch and back. As one did. My father died in a car crash at 29. I passed my Advanced driving test at 18 in my first car. I’ve driven sensibly ever since.
I think the more recent testing gives much better driver preparation that my test 30 years ago. My two are very aware of the dangers of driving.Posted 6 months agotimbaMember
She’s got a black box, which is showing no dangerous or erratic driving
They’re not that sensitive IME. Son had a hard collision (not his fault) that resulted in pretty much a new front on his car. All that the tracker shows is one instance of “braking”, but otherwise smooth driving
I think that you probably know your child and their attitude to risk better than any gadget, and you getting an occasional lift to the shops or pub will reinforce that 😉Posted 6 months agoglobaltiMember
I can well remember driving around in my mate’s Singer Vogue borrowed from his mum when I was 18 and a couple of close shaves caused entirely by inappropriate speed. I also drove my parents’ car and had one minor prang when I rear-ended a car at a roundabout when the driver changed his mind but apart from that, a few close shaves but nothing serious, thank God.Posted 6 months agotwinw4llMember
Our daughter has not learned to drive she is 26 and lives in Cambridge so doesn’t feel there is a need.Posted 6 months ago
When she was 16 happened to mention she was going to Paris for the weekend, this was just the start of her many travels, usually alone on public transport, so if they don’t drive the stress can still be there.
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