Meds can be very helpful. Just remember it can take a bit of trial and error to find the right one and the right does.

They are not an answer in themselves but can help you to get rid of the worst of the negative thoughts which can give you “breathing space” to deal with your issues and to remind you what it feels like not to be sad all the time

IMO they should not be the first / default option but neither should you avoid them if needed as they can be very helpful

Thanks for the comments, all helpful.
Well started the antidepressants and now comming off them, the day after first pill side effects kicked in, two day migrain then all signs of life in the little fella disapeared.
Spoke to the doctor and we are going to start again on a much lower dose and take it from there. Review in 8 weeks.
Councilor is helping hoping the meds take the edge of anxiety issues that have been around for a long time.
The counciling really is going to be a long haul and at time feels like being broken down from back when i was a child to solve issues i kind out new had an effect on me but seem to have been cummulative. I feel better for trying to go through them but dont feel much progress (thats a lie it is helping but we seem to be looking further back at causes than i thought).
My counciling is all centred on self worth and i’m amased at some of the questions i can’t answer “what makes you happy?” “when was the last time you were really happy?”.
Work wise, we have a new boss who’s younger (not nessesarily a problem as i get older it alsways going to happen) trying to establish his position in an older team and throwing his weight around without having the technical knowledge to back it up.
This adds to frustration with being looked over, having advice ignored and micromanaged on subjects i know more than him about. But trying not to get too grumpy and explosive about it. Stressing about work has always been a problem for me since apprentice days.

Welcome to the world of younger wannabe managers 🙄

Counselling can be tough, what you thought was the issue turns out to be a cover for the issue underneath. And it can take a while to get meds at the right dosage. Hang on in there, it may not feel like it but sounds like you are heading in the right direction.

Long overdue update.
Mentally I feel better than I have been in a long time. I’m happy in my house and able to cope on my own for a few days.
Christmas was not too bad and got to see son Christmas day. Am talking ok with the ex, no point wasting energy being moody towards her.

Am slowly getting back to normal work (used to do a bit before everyone got up) but actual day job is horrible.
New boss is overlooking me and giving new project(s) I’ve kind of done for years are being give to the new employee. Have requested a meeting to see if being managed out the business.

So just about a year on and slowly getting it back together.
Cheers for all the help, support and advice it’s really appreciated.

Nice to hear you are doing better. its been a tough year for everyone without additional stressors

Cheers tjagain, had a quite frank chat with the bosses at work about how i feel i’ve been sidelined. To be fair it was gentlemanly bollocking both ways on my attitude to work latley (really couldn’t be arsed before christmas and did the bare minimum) and there attitude and conduct.
They said things i dont agree with i said things they dont agree with. So draw a line under that for a bit, left me feeling a bit drained and shitty but i know thats me over thinking and taking thigs to heart to much (am working on this with theropist).
Trouble is do i explain that was prescribed anti depressants and diagnosed with some degree of depression back in october? (I teally think it was depression back then as came very close to a breakdown in one of me theropy sessions).

I’ve just read your last update. Generally I would say yes to telling work about your mental health and suffering from depression. The caveat is if they are generally not a sympathetic company or too small to have proper HR support. I would always want to know if someone in the business has a mental health challenge and how we can help them.