Stoner
2) Dumped the girl who took my virginity in a xmas card

How do you take someone’s virginity in a xmas card? 😉

I still feel guilty about pulling a bag of my sick onto someones head and slapping the top.

Stag do, in Belgium, well had enough, threw up a little bit of vom into a bag (rather than onto the coach we were all in) and just wanted to go to bed when we got off the coach, so I could hit it the next day…

Anyway a bloke (who sort of invited himself along) was giving me extra grief, all my proper mates knew to leave me be but this chap didn’t, Anyway I asked him to bow his head, he did, I pulled the bag of vomit over his head and slapped the top and said “night night” in a cheery voice and went off to bed.

He wasn’t best pleased of course.

In about 1998 or so I dumped a girlfriend at the “oooh! Aaaaah! Romance! of the The British Fireworks Championships

I am very ashamed of this. Still great friends with her and her far nicer-and-better-at-riding-bikes-and-better-looking-than-me husband, and every few years one of them will remind me of it. 😳

That is going with me to the grave

Told a Girl I loved when clearly I didn’t.

Said Yes a few times when clearly I should have said No, and meant it.

Told a Girl I loved her when clearly I didn’t.
Said Yes a few times when clearly I should have said No, and meant it.

’bout sums it up for me as well. 😕

Sisters. Not just the one set either.

I’m not ashamed, I’m incredibly smug about it and felt like sharing it here.

As you all were…

I so want to say Lisa Riley.

But actually she wasn’t that bad. 8)

Slept with my girlfriend on the night, slept with an ex the following morning, slept with the girlfriend again that night, then dumped her to start seeing the ex again. (Who I subsequently married).

I did feel bad about it at the time, especially as when I told her I was leaving her, she ran upstairs to get her bawling kid out of bed and held him up to me saying something like ‘look what you are doing to my child’.

Still…

‘look what you are doing to my child’

Quality ‘bunny boiler’ episode right there!

I steal bikes 😈

A moment of madness aged 8 I kicked in a Chatholic Church window in Calgary after school finished. Why? To this day I have no idea?

Got arrested after breaking into a local library’s old book store (garage round back) and was just having a nose about with a mate. We had candles as I couldn’t find a torch. They thought we were going to burn down the place. 😯

Quality ‘bunny boiler’ episode right there!

You know Louise then do you? 😉

Driven while drunk. Once. Only once. Never, never again.

I had my dearest friend, who oddly also happens to be an ex-gf, in the passenger seat.

Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.

Did I say I was an idiot? Well, I was. Idiot.

Punched a girl in junior school cos she smelt of wee.

Worse stuff since (can you believe, worse than that!) which can’t be aired in public.

Oh, woke up once with half empty bottle of Vod, and a puddle of sick by the side of my bed.

Is it true you can choke and die on your own vom? Anyway, cleaned it up, and didn’t tell my mum.

Sorry mum.

CF did that once, I killed a bunny rabbit. 😳

My old employer was going all out in the charm stakes to win a contract with a local business woman…

…with whom I got hideously drunk one evening and tried (unsuccessfully) to boink her friend.

Whoops.

Punched a girl in junior school cos she smelt of wee

We pushed a girl into a bed of nettles because she smelled of raw potatoes. We were made to stand up in assembly the next morning so everyone would know who did it.

I too have also driven whilst drunk just the once. I was so blind drunk I didn’t even realise I had done it till the next day. How the hell I managed to drive the car I will never, ever know.

Driven while drunk. Once. Only once. Never, never again.

Oh that? That’s nothing – where I grew up it was standard practice. 😳

I once broke someone’s arm playing football, not entirely accidentally. I don’t think I’ve really done anything that bad though….

Today, the worst thing was open this thread.

I once shot a frog with an airgun. I was about 13, and knew the second I did it that it was a repulsive thing to do.

I was also quite mean to some other kids in primary school. 😐

Put a guy in the hospital cause he touched my stuff.

Was very stupid. I was really lucky not to get expelled. Could’ve really messed up my life. Also his. Never felt worse then when I was waiting for the news of if he’d woken up yet.

Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.

Did I say I was an idiot? Well, I was. Idiot.

This..

He just touched your stuff 😯

wow

got sent to a place at kirk levington for a while.
it was not nice and i have regretted my actions ever since.

I think he meant he touched his ‘stuff’.

😉

Put a guy in the hospital cause he touched my stuff.

What like your king of the mountains jersey and stuff?

It was a bowl of something, I forget what. I didn’t lose it or anything, I just hit him way too hard, not even thinking about what I was doing, don’t think I was even looking at him when I did it. He went down hard, and ended up unconscious for quite a while. Paramedics, ambulance, etc. etc.

Not much I can admit to on an internet forum. The holier than thou brigade will be out en masse.

I see that now..

I’m not being holier than thou, just interested, sorry.

I had a bit of a spate of petty kleptomania at secondary school. Nothing major, nothing worth more than a couple of quid or so, but when caught and confronted about it by my folks, I got into a stand-up fist fight with my dad, and ended up choking him unconscious.

Needless to say, that scared me sh*tless, and I vowed to sort myself out ASAFP.

I once shouted at someone because they pressed the button on a pelican crossing straight after I had already done it

I was cross because it felt like they were questioning my ‘button pushing’ ability..

The worst thing I’ve done is drink-drive, and I’m very ashamed of it.

What I feel most guilty about I can’t admit to – have too many acquaintances in real life from here to let loose that particular nugget…

Needless to say, that scared me sh*tless, and I vowed to sort myself out ASAFP.

So now you just burn stuff? 😉

M-F: Yup. Quite often just myself, though. 🙂

I once shouted at someone because they pressed the button on a pelican crossing straight after I had already done it

Kinda like this one lol.

Kinda like this one lol.

Happens a lot waiting for lifts too. You’re standing there waiting for the lift to arrive, someone else will turn up behind you, barge past you, and press the very clearly illuminated ‘call’ button. Yeah thanks, I never thought of that, cocknocker; I was trying to summon the lift using the power of my mind.

I think that we should have lifts where if someone presses the call button when it’s already been pressed, the lift doors open irrespective of where the lift happens to be.

Crikey, nothing as bad as some of that lot!

Driven home the next morning when I probably shouldn’t. Messed arround a few girls (for which karma got me back with long bouts of being single and getting none).

Some of you have lead very very sheltered lives.

I used to play “knock and run”
I’ve pulled a girls hair whilst in assembly (I did fancy her, can’t think why I did that and still feel a small pang of guilt)
And gave a lad a leg and a wing off a pnotoon into a small lake where he promptly broke his collarbone..naughty.
Rode a motorbike on the road without a helmet/tax/mot/ins on the way to some fields/woods where we used to ride.

gave a lad a leg and a wing off a pnotoon

Eh?