@deadpool

Been there myself recently.

I sought help and doing better now.

This will pass. I promise.

Keep talking – when you say it or write it, your mind lets go and you can process it much better. Chat away

Sending big hugs.

I was made redundant and thought my life was finished. At the time I felt like a failure and contemplated ending it all.
Turned out to be one of the best things that happened. Started my own little business giving me the freedom to spend much more time with my kids and to work around the families needs.
Just remember that life throws up many twists and turns and when one door shuts another will open.
Keep posting on here.

Yep, you just have to hang in there and life will get better.
It’s so difficult to believe or see this when you/we are in the deepest of pits, but it’s true. We all have untapped reserves, cores of steel, deep within us. Hold on to this knowledge and battle through.
Brighter days will come.

I don’t have anything to say that hasn;t already been said, but they’re right. You’re kids will love you no matter what. It might seem bad now, but it can and it will get better if you talk to people.

Stay strong @deadpool

@deadpool I’m not really sure what to say, but did not want to read and move on.

“nobody will care anyway” People do care, this thread is proof of that!

Stay strong for your kids. Keep talking; here, the samaritans or CALM as linked above will all listen.

People care, kids care more than anything. Keep talking and try to get some help.

@deadpool You have done the right thing by posting and ‘talking’ on here.
People care, usually a lot more than we realise, and getting your thoughts out and interacting with them is a vital step in turning things around.

My brother in law took his own life last year and it has had a devastating effect on the family. We knew he had money worries but he refused to talk about how he felt or what thoughts he was having. I can’t help thinking that if he had opened up a bit he would still be with us. Because he didn’t talk to anyone or leave a note there are so many questions we will never get answers to and so many “What if?” thoughts that will never go away.

You have your children and they have you. Talk to people and get help so it stays that way. Please.

Nothing to add to the good advice so far, but want to say that I hope you get through this, deadpool.

I read somewhere that gut health has a direct influence on mental health and this can be referenced all over Google. As a result I now drink Kerfir and eat organic sauerkraut as they are extremely probiotic. I dont know if this is the reason why my mental state is much more consistent now, not full of the highs and lows of previous.

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20190218-how-the-bacteria-inside-you-could-affect-your-mental-health

https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/301957064

https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/305965589

Just be aware initially you get die off symptoms, where the probiotics in the above products cause a bit of bloating as they kill off ‘bad’ bacteria.

You’re not alone fella. Please keep sharing /venting on here if it helps !

Hey deadpool, good to hear you’re resolved to try, it’s all any of us can do. Have a good weekend.

@deadpool
Keep on talking on here. There’s no end of people who have been in your position and can offer some experiential advice, and this is a (relatively) small niche cross-section of people who like riding uphill. If you extrapolate that out to the whole population, there are so many who are going through exactly the same.
You are not alone in feeling like this.
All the posts above show how much you are cherished, even on an anonymous mtb forum! 😉
Reach out for help via all the avenues mentioned already.
Take care, and don’t do anything rash.
Big man hugs. 👐

As all have said on here, keep talking. We might be a grumpy bunch at times but we do care about people.

On a more practical note, if you’re struggling financially then worth exploring if you are getting all of the benefits you’re entitled to (try https://policyinpractice.co.uk/ or https://www.turn2us.org.uk/ for more info).

Speak to Citizens Advice too and your bank if you are at risk of missing payments on things. Most high street banks are supportive of people (particularly with the current economic situation) and if they know what’s going on can help to restructure re-payments which will help you in the longer term.

Good luck and keep posting.

@deadpool glad you’ve updated us. Keep posting, getting your thoughts and feelings down, just releasing them, can really help. Your kids love you for being their father end of. They don’t care about money or status. They just need you to be there, that’s it.

I’ve been where you are. I’ve sat with a razor against my wrists, tied nooses and even set one up once. One thing I can say, beyond a shadow of a doubt, is I am glad I never took that final step. When I’m not low I realise my value as a human being, a dad, a husband, friend and colleague. I know it can feel overwhelming but fight it. That too can be difficult I know. You’re needed, loved and cherished. Don’t ever forget that. Even this stranger on an internet forum cares deeply because I know all too well how you’re feeling and it will pass. It may not feel like it right now but it will.

Even this stranger on an internet forum cares deeply because I know all too well how you’re feeling and it will pass. It may not feel like it right now but it will.

👆 100% this.

Hope you’re ok @Deadpool, we’re all here for you, keep us updated with how things are going and hopefully we can help 🙂

I’ve had a think about this, and a beer. The “point” is when you turn it around, get back on track, figure out a plan and enact that plan or something like it. Feels good. Seems impossible initially, but small steps and talking to people will get you where you need to be headed.

The universe is probably a hologram projected on the event horizon of something beyond the conception of any of us. And even if it isn’t, the massiveness of the galaxy alone should convince you that pretty much every idea put forward by any human being ever is entirely irrelevant and all that actually matters is coming up with an interesting next move.

Hey how are you this morning, well aware at 3am everything can appear be far worse!

Have you spoken to your GP at all?

This too shall pass.

That’s the mantra that kept me going at times.

Your kids love you for being you, for being there for them, for giving them a cuddle. Money can’t give them that. You not being here won’t give them that.

Remember, this will pass

How’re you feeling this morning @deadpool?

Take care fella. If you want a place to talk face to face in a similar environment to here then http://www.andymansclub.co.uk is an amazing setup and they offer lots of support

just to echo all the points above and hope you are doing well. I too have been there, a long time ago I did hang myself and the rope slipped up and off my neck. Incompetent and desperate is not a good combination!

I don’t often think about it now, although as others have said life can still be hard. I can pay my bills, but only by cutting back on a lot of the luxuries that I used to enjoy, please seek out all help you can financially to get through these times. In return, I think my own troubles have made me a more compassionate person.

Three things I do want to address. One tough, one middling, one tongue in cheek.

Tough – absolutely agree with the poster that said guilting someone into staying around because of the impact on others – it’s true but I find it also very unhelpful and just adds another straw to the camel’s back. We want the person to stay around because we want them to be here to enjoy the good things that are yet to come.

Middling – yes, life is a series of crushing disappointments filled with occasional high spots. Accept it, and also accept as you get older the ratio changes (and not in a good way). We have more stresses, we become the people that others rely on, parents get older and dependant and die, we ourselves get older and infirm and then God starts shopping on our shelf as well. All the more reason to NGAF whenever we can. Play on a bike in the woods, even if it is ridiculous for a grown up to do. Sing when you’re riding even if the squirrels are stuffing acorns in their ears. Squeeze every bit out of the high points, and don’t worry about what’s to come – you can deal with that when it arrives.

TiC – organic sauerkraut? Give me the train timetable before I’m doing that…… (Kefir’s alright though 😉 )

The point is your kids need you to be here.
Your their Dad, they love you so much and always will.
Money does not dictate how good a person you are in any way. Its warming up so heating wont be an issue in a few weeks time.
Please be strong and be there for your kids and family, don’t be afraid to reach out, everyone needs a hug every so often

You could start by putting some of the issues you are facing on here. I bet your not alone and many other people will have been up against the same thing and come out the other side so can and will help.

Life’s tough, especially in the uk right now, but being here is waaaaaay better than the other option.

@deadpool Hope you’re ok this morning. There’s a lot of people on here suffering with mental and financial problems to different degrees, myself included. Me and some others have given support, including financial, to other forum members over the years, some of whom are still struggling but reluctant to reach out to this community again as they think of themselves as a burden. Please, all of you share your feelings, (including you lurkers!) it will help to realise that we’re not alone.

@deadpool Hope you had a better day today. Please check in with us if you get the chance.

I agree with bentandbroken. Drop a message in here when you get chance. It would be good to hear from you.

@deadpool

hang in there fella

as above – put a post on this thread if you can

@deadpool. Been there too, it’s horrible and terrifying. I felt I had waves crashing over me and couldn’t move. Please, please get some help. Talking is the first step – here, mates, samaritans, doctor, anyone. There are lots of people who care even in your worst moments.

As someone said above, things can and will change.

I’m sure you can pm anyone on this thread, me included.

Take care.

@deadpool, I really hope you’re ok? Please put up a post, there’s more than a few of us on here that care and at present are a little worried. X

Trying not to let this fall away – @deadpool, hope you’re hanging in there.

My kids care, I know they love me and I love then more and they need that love more than anything else.

I don’t have kids, but I’d say hold on to this more than anything else.

Also, remind yourself that you haven’t always felt this way. If you’ve been in a better place before, it’s possible to get back there. You can’t always control the storm, sometimes you just have to batten down the hatches and ride it out. But yeah, it absolutely sucks 😔