1. Good tea and coffee
2. Cake. Good range of cake. Pref local from a proper cakey old person
3. Some clean bogs
4. Tap outside
5. Hopefully outside seating with optional shade
6. Real positive attitude/friendliness from staff and active community/local interest evident in the café

Very top of the scale for me would be a bikey version of The Quarry Café in Mach. And I’m not a vegetarian, they just serve hand’s down the best and tastiest cafe food I’ve ever had. Wholesome, hearty, warm and friendly. <— Four key words.

Some really good thoughts here…..

…..a couple of things stand out for me whilst I think about it:

1. Must be able to see the bikes – good food spoiled by stressing over the bikes is always a let down
2. Food portions need to be huge – Pete’s Eats mentioned above is a great example!
3. Food needs to be good quality but menu doesn’t need to be complicated (beans, cheese, eggs on toast all good – bacon butties, burgers, chips, chilli, soup, home made cakes all v good!)
4. Our current destination of choice (on road rides) is here, which has more or less all of the above : https://www.facebook.com/Tillys-Coffee-Shop-148626955209486/?rf=141294055936078

One Planet at Llandegla is a good example of what’s good BUT when it first opened it was TERRIBLE – the menu was more or less the same as now but the service was just awful – we went on a family ride once and waited over an hour for food – they cracked it fairly soon afterwards and I have to say the service there now is great, even if you order something slightly more complicated like their OPA burger/chips…..so a key message there has to be about Service and Speed of delivery!

Somewhere safe to leave my bike – however that happened

The ability to come in muddy – maybe a separate room with hard chairs, or a
nicer one if you aren’t muddy/are a roadie

Good coffee (good evaluated by someone who drinks coffee)

Really cold soft drinks or just one of those draught hoses like pubs have but with lots of ice. Icy but not too fizzy soft drinks are the best when thirsty.

Outside covered seating

Good chips – either on their own or with cheese/chilli etc. Nothing better after a ride.

A brush to brush mud off of back and shoes and legs etc. You may well have wipe down chairs but it’s still nice to knock off the loose mud.

Fast service. Some cycling stuff about is ok but don’t make it feel like it’s a cyclist only place. Don’t have videos on loop etc.

In the winter people want it warm but you will also need good ventelation. Wet people plus hot room = horrible steamy atmosphere

If i’m paying you to make me a cup / mug of tea…. take the f**king tea bag out and put some bloody milk in.

take the f**king tea bag out and put some bloody milk in.

Use tea leaves, in a pot

carrot cake and an outside shitter.

Wifi

A big ass strava leaderboard on the wall. All times verified by the staff, winner gets banned.

i misread the title as ‘what do you look for in a mountain bike cafe racer’ and was about to start a right old rant about fashion and trendiness and utter stupidity, i can’t believe it sort of thing.

See One Planet Llandegla. It’s brilliant. You could use the white bread as a functional mattress it’s that thick and fluffy. Big map showing where the food comes from and a simple but hearty menu.

A big ass strava leaderboard on the wall

YES!

haven’t read any of the thread but in no particular order:

– somewhere safe to park my bike
– a hose that i don’t have to queue for for half an hour to use
– inside nice and warm
– places to sit with a muddy pair of shorts but wiped clean regularly cos i don’t mind sitting in me own sh*te but i don’t wan to sit in other peoples
– generous portions
– cheap prices
– well made, hot tea and coffee
– home made cake and stuff
– spare tubes, simple tools
– friendly owner and staff, you can have all the above but if you’ve got some miserable b’stard serving it’s not gonna work
–

Not look at you like you were some sort of invading Martian when you ask for soya milk in your tea and gluten free cake.

Can we draw a line and just have an arrow to the garden marked paelo catch your own

Cafe Giro in Esher is roadie based but seems to have got the vibe right.

Plenty of non-cyclists use it too.

carrot cake and an outside shitter.

A man who knows his priorities!

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Nc1gTbe2KI[/video]

If this thread does nothing else, it should discourage anyone thinking of opening a cafe for mountain bikers.

a proper cakey old person

Looking forward to seeing that in the person spec for one of the chef positions.

Maybe an outside serving hatch for those who get anxiety attacks when they can’t see their bikes, or are caked with mud, or are steaming with sweat, or all three.

An alternative to wheat: flapjacks, and rye bread, pre-sliced, in the freezer for toast.

If this thread does nothing else, it should discourage anyone thinking of opening a cafe for mountain bikers.

Agreed. I read some of the replies and I think asking for a moon on a stick would be easier 😉

I’ll go with something that perhaps won’t repeat others. I like to be able to sit outside in pretty much everything other than rain and or snow

I’ll repeat others, a big mug of tea! I don’t want to be messing about with pots and poxy little cups!

Good sized slabs of home made cake. Tolerance for muddy arses.

Tolerance for muddy arses.

I know some mountain bikers are arses, but not all 🙂

So, if you were setting up a café catering predominantly for cyclists but also other general public users, parents/families etc, what would you look for?

Families? Child-size plates and cutlery. Decent child seats. Child-friendly bottles (local coffee shop does old milk bottles with straws. Very hipster, but also really effective).

Cyclists? Decent coffee. Good cake (homemade). Good stodgy food. Wipe-clean floors and seats. Roaring fire to dry kit out in front of. Area for muddy kit. Hot showers (or is that going a little far?)

Oh yes. Chips. And maybe lasagne. And chips.

Mmm. Chips…

– generous portions
– cheap prices

– shit food

Pick two. 😉

Pick two. 😉

Can I pick;

– generous portions
– cheap prices

The 2 cafes suggestion is good. Greasy spoon with outside seating for mtbers covered in emulsified dog shit and mud. Nice clean cafe for the rest who own mudguards.

Uplift
Beer
Proper fast WIFI
Cycling films on TV/good tunes
Mags to read (cycling not grumble)

I really like the ones with a bike wash and a shower! 🙂

Other than that hot drinks and comfort food all the way

Can I pick;

– generous portions
– cheap prices

See what you did there. And my mistake.

😳 😆