What would Nicholas Witchell have to do to get your respect ?

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  • What would Nicholas Witchell have to do to get your respect ?
  • Premier Icon martinhutch
    Subscriber

    Possibly the toughest question ever posed on STW.

    Premier Icon Drac
    Subscriber

    Same as anybody.

    Be polite, work hard and be a kind person.

    ernie_lynch
    Member

    Get rat-arsed and have a fight with someone in a pub.

    Premier Icon hot_fiat
    Subscriber

    Possibly say “sorry” to the Prince of Wales for whatever it was that wound him up.

    cheekyboy
    Member

    Singlehandedly charge a gang of lager soaked edl brain donors in nowt but his underpants

    gwaelod
    Member

    Live outside broadcast from the palace swigging from a can of lager with his todger out

    marvincooper
    Member

    Bring peace to the Middle East, end starvation worldwide and invent a clean source of energy for us all. Or just bugger off never to be seen again.

    ernie_lynch
    Member

    Judging by the cheeky smirk on his face it looks like he had his todger out earlier this evening

    Premier Icon imnotverygood
    Subscriber

    wrestle with some militant lesbians?

    Ah, no he’s alraedy done that

    Premier Icon Harry_the_Spider
    Subscriber

    Bum a goat.

    oliverd1981
    Member

    Assinate Assad, straighten his tie and report on it in hi normal demeanour?

    Turn up for work in a Guy Fawkes mask?

    I don’t think it’s fair what they do to their old news stalwarts – they should be given a nice easy posting with sea views. Royal reporting should be left to the teletubbies, or whoever it is that does the news on BBC3, the news with no real news in it.

    project
    Member

    resign from the media, and work for a living.

    gordimhor
    Member

    Well he pissed prince Charles off which seems like a good start to me.

    I wouldn’t be surprised if he was caught stroking royal jewels and hissing “my precious”…

    A start to respectability would be bleaching his tongue to remove the ingrained brown stains.

    sargey
    Member

    Ride a unicycle up his own bottom and out again,click his heels together and say ta’daaaa!

    athgray
    Member

    If he squared up to Prince Charles when he had the chance. Think Ray Winstone in the snooker ball in a sock scene in Scum.

    Any thoughts ?

    tazzymtb
    Member

    wrestle a bear with chainsaws for paws, whilst tap-dancing on hot coals and fellating a goat and humming the joan jet classic ” i love rock and roll”

    oliverd1981
    Member

    The next time you see him reporting real news there’s a 50/50 chance you’ll will be getting a day off.

    Premier Icon binners
    Subscriber

    Start a bloody revolution, inciting baying mobs to bring forth the guillotine and behead every member of the royal family, starting with the queen, to blood curdling cheers from the masses. Then take over the country, establishing himself as a dictator to make Sadaam Hussain look like Ghandi, and rule over the country with an iron fist!

    The thing is, looking at him, I reckon this is what he actually dreams of. He just needs to know he has the back up. Are you with me comrades?

    CountZero
    Member

    He’s a news reader, why should I give him any respect? Kate Adie, yes, or any reporter who goes into decidedly iffy scenarios armed only with a camera or a microphone, with every chance of being shot at by either side. Pissing off HRH hardly matches up. And neither does facing up to a bunch of feminists who invaded the Beeb newsroom.

    ernie_lynch
    Member

    He’s a news reader, why should I give him any respect?

    Don’t get me started on Huw Edwards

    Smug newsreading tosser.

    Premier Icon mtbfix
    Subscriber

    What have I missed? He used to be a proper newsreader but then got the royal reporter job. Not sure that that means we have to deride the bloke. No more or less simpering than Jenny Bond used to be. Should we be rude about her too?

    Premier Icon kimbers
    Subscriber

    mtbfix – Member
    What have I missed? He used to be a proper newsreader but then got the royal reporter job. Not sure that that means we have to deride the bloke. No more or less simpering than Jenny Bond used to be. Should we be rude about her too?

    yes they both deserve mocking for filling up news24 with tedious drivel about ‘the royals’

    ernie_lynch
    Member

    He used to be a proper newsreader but then got the royal reporter job. Not sure that that means we have to deride the bloke.

    Royal correspondent, newsreader, all the same, as CountZero points out – why should we give them any respect, as they peddle their sick trade ?

    Only yesterday I saw George Alagiah causally read the news without even batting an eyelid, I was quite frankly disgusted.

    And to think these people except us to have respect for them….they must be having a laugh 😐

    I used to think of Witchell to prolong coitus when I was an over-spunky teenager. I could go for hours!

    ernie_lynch
    Member

    Thanks for sharing derek 😐

    Throw himself under a train.

    wrecker
    Member

    Beat John Snow to a bloodied pulp.

    Mr Woppit
    Member

    hot_fiat – Member

    Possibly say “sorry” to tell the Prince of Wales he’s a fakwit of no account and he only reports on him because a) it pays a fortune and b) it’s a really easy gig for whatever it was that wound him up.

    Premier Icon Harry_the_Spider
    Subscriber

    I used to think of Witchell to prolong coitus when I was an over-spunky teenager. I could go for hours!

    Wouldn’t it have been easier just to move the target thingie a bit further away?

    Excellent response from HtS!

    Premier Icon footflaps
    Subscriber

    Disembowel himself on live TV…

    jekkyl
    Member

    what did he do/say to charlie that made him hate him?
    I remeber that clip on the ski slopes, what was it charlie called him?

    Premier Icon stimpy
    Subscriber

    Gap jump the TdF.

    Premier Icon Nipper99
    Subscriber

    Didn’t he fall out with the broadcast unions for not observing some strike action and was black balled – might be completely wrong on that though.

    konabunny
    Member

    Replace all the crappy halogen light transformers in my house.

    And then bum a goat.

    And goat a bum.

    Premier Icon Rusty Spanner
    Subscriber

    Stop believing in the Loch Ness monster.

    And the goat, obviously.

    mike_p
    Member

    Go on a lads weekend with Bear Grylls, Ray Mears, Bruce Parry & Ross Kemp

    Edric 64
    Member

    Newsreader? it`s only reading out loud so why do they get paid so much ?

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 57 total)

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