generally if you are riding a short reach bike (relative to your own body size) you would want the bars higher in order to weight the front wheel standing up, especially down hill.
if you extend the reach with a longer stem then you would likely run less spacers and ‘lower’ the bars to achieve the same.
note that a longer stem has the effect of raising bar height and lengthening reach at the same time assuming the same spacers.
stem length might not be your problem though and you may find that rolling the bars forward and/or adjusting your lever angle will allow you to get your elbows out more thus shifting your weight forwards.
ive only ever worried about how a bike rides/feels when stood up, you shouldnt be tackling anything of any significance sat down.
i wouldnt be afraid to try out extremes either, i remember Fabien Barrel used to turn up and win races races with 40mm of spacers under his stem bucking the ‘slammed’ trend at the time. then one day he turned up on what looked like a stretched out chopper and ‘forward geometry’ was born.
i used to spend hours repeating the same 30 second run adding and removing spacers, changing stems, altering rebound and compression 1 click in/out, adjusting bar roll, lever angle etc etc. you have to find what works for you, but that also changes over time as your riding evolves and/or the conditions change.
my only word of caution is that its easy to go down the rabbit hole of becoming all OCD about your setup!