What to do about people that are a bit tight?

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  • What to do about people that are a bit tight?
  • _tom_
    Member

    I don’t like buying in rounds, when it starts I feel a pressure to keep track of whats been bought so I can reimburse properly. Fine for the first few drinks but after that it gets too confusing ๐Ÿ˜†

    mogrim
    Member

    ….. its you hosting the party. Surely its up to you to provide the food & drink then?

    Depends on the party, your social circle, age, etc. etc. The fact that the OP’s stingy friends took a couple of beers with them implies that bringing a drink is expected.

    Premier Icon firestarter
    Subscriber

    Each to their own I say, if I invite people round I make sure I’ve loads of ale in enough so I don’t need any bringing. One of my mates doesn’t bring owt (but he has loads at his for drinks round his gaff) but another always brings at least two crates. I don’t expect people to bring stuff when I invite them and they don’t expect it of me I just take it as I think its right. Some don’t, horses for courses ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Tho our kid did hammer my laphroaig the other day which was annoying as he wasn’t sure he liked it lol on the other hand I’ve four crates of cider some bitter and Guinness left and a bottle of wine so its swings and roundabouts

    TandemJeremy
    Member

    I find the differeing attitudes with wine to meals interesting

    When I cook for people I tell them to bring wine. I tell them what the meal is so they can chose the right wine.

    I’ll make a joke out of opening it – ” which ones the best we will have that first”

    I do tend to cook for others more than they cook for me so this way it evens out. I buy the food they buy the wine

    Premier Icon chakaping
    Subscriber

    I’d say it does matter – if I took a bottle round to someone’s house and they opened up a bottle of cheap table wine I’d certainly feel offended.

    Yeah, but (without wanting to sound ungrateful or poncey) I usually serve better, more expensive wine than people bring – and I stash their Blossom Hill away quickly.

    I do check that they’re happy to drink my wine (people’s tastes differ of course), but am I committing some horrifying breach in social etiquette?

    Is this why I didn’t get any Xmas cards?

    mogrim
    Member

    Yeah, but (without wanting to sound ungrateful or poncey) I usually serve better, more expensive wine than people bring – and I stash their Blossom Hill away quickly.

    I do check that they’re happy to drink my wine (people’s tastes differ of course), but am I committing some horrifying breach in social etiquette?

    Probably – middle class living is such a minefield – but you wouldn’t offend me.

    If the rumours are to be believed you didn’t get any Xmas cards because you’re ugly and smell of wee, nothing to do with your wine. ๐Ÿ™‚

    King-ocelot
    Member

    The whole rounds thing. It’s ok to opt out of it, but it’s when people place thier orders and happily drink what you buy and then vanish when it’s thier turn to go to the bar.

    b r
    Member

    Once had a tight friend/acquintance. Everybody was annoyed by his tightness, but nobody did/said anything.

    I just told him straight one day, and then just stopped inviting him (I use to organise all the rides). He got the message. But does still require reminding – or embarrassing in the pub etc. But we all have a laugh about it.

    Spud
    Member

    Don’t get me started!

    Without wanting to sound ungrateful or poncey… if someone brings a cheap wine round that will offend my delicate palate, or ruin my exquisite cooking, I sensitively decant it into the sink and then refill the bottle with a suitable accompaniment from my extensive cellar.

    hels
    Member

    I’m with TJ on this, no way is it bad form to open the guest’s wine.

    You have the best wine with dinner while you can still taste it, and progressively open the lesser bottles (the host makes this decision) until you are falling over drunk and TSY’s friends are licking the kitchen sink for the cheap stuff.

    But yes mean friends when it comes to drink – if you can’t discuss it with them they aren’t really friends are they ? Get them told. But do it before you all start drinking.

    mogrim
    Member

    Without wanting to sound ungrateful or poncey… if someone brings a cheap wine round that will offend my delicate palate, or ruin my exquisite cooking, I sensitively decant it into the sink and then refill the bottle with a suitable accompaniment from my extensive cellar.

    One is slightly surprised that you were unable to call upon the butler or cellarer to perform this seemingly simple task.

    hels
    Member

    P.S Now, couples who think that they only have to buy one round between them – thats what I call poor form, I feel like buying them half a drink each…

    One is slightly surprised that you were unable to call upon the butler or cellarer to perform this seemingly simple task.

    One didn’t wish to sound too poncey ๐Ÿ˜†

    If they are true friends then it should never be an issue. Read into that what you will.

    Premier Icon chakaping
    Subscriber

    If the rumours are to be believed you didn’t get any Xmas cards because you’re ugly and smell of wee, nothing to do with your wine.

    Please let me blame it on the wine.

    ๐Ÿ™

    b r
    Member

    And once you get to a certain age you realise that best times are had with people who have the same outlook on life – and the same kinda attitude to spending (income helps here too).

    drslow
    Member

    Does anyone do kittys?

    We have a mate who is generally the kitty master. We each give him ยฃ20 and once this is done we top up the kitty. Upside is, everyone has to pay to get a drink (we usually all drink the same). The down side to this approach is by the 3rd 4th kitty he’s at the bar buying shots for the closest group of females. If your not within earshot you cant get your order in and the kitty is quickly depleted, making him look like Mr flash cash at everyone’s expense.

    mogrim
    Member

    The down side to this approach is by the 3rd 4th kitty he’s at the bar buying shots for the closest group of females. If your not within earshot you cant get your order in and the kitty is quickly depleted, making him look like Mr flash cash at everyone’s expense.

    Given that he is generally the kitty master it’s not at your expense, you’re effectively paying him – as compensation for having to look after the cash. How he then spends the money is his affair…

    Moses
    Member

    Kitties are great if you all drink the same value & at the same rate. I don’t mind rounds, but if I contribute ยฃ20 and drink halves instead of pints, then I’m missing out; similarly they would think I’m taking the p if I have a big glass of wine to their pints.

    devs
    Member

    This was the source of much amusement/arguments when I joined up in the RAF and moved to England. They do it different in different countries. Despite the Jocks having a reputation for being tight it’s actually the English that pint count and get wound up if they have bought a round more!
    As far as the OP goes it’s quite simple. You take what you are drinking to a party. However the host will always have a stock of blandstein supermarket lager for the vagrants and surprise spur of the minute guests to drink. Offer your tight pals cans of Tesco Value bitter and they’ll soon be digging into the cool box and heading back for resupplies. The only time you drink the host’s gear is when it is offered as a chaser to what you are on or if it’s a dragged out of the pub party when you have no chance to get supplies.
    As for the getting the message across bit, I find that using humour to disguise it works best. So I would just say to them when I next saw them – hope you’re still coming to mine at New Year then? Gonnae bring some drink this time then ya pair of scrooges! And then laugh.
    It’ll work. trust me.

    Premier Icon MrOvershoot
    Subscriber

    TandemJeremy – Member

    I find the differeing attitudes with wine to meals interesting

    When I cook for people I tell them to bring wine. I tell them what the meal is so they can chose the right wine.

    I’ll make a joke out of opening it – ” which ones the best we will have that first”
    Pretty much the same here, though I don’t “tell” them to bring wine but I usually say “I’m cooking <whatever I’m cooking> are you OK with that” then at least they know what might go with that?

    In the past we have found a bit of light humour “piss taking” works well with the tightwads.

    My Sister in Law & Husband are how shall I put this “frugal” they once came for a big family lunch & did bring a bottle of red (I was cooking a seafood Risotto) at going home time the bottle was unopened in the kitchen so the plucked it off the side & took it home!
    Oh they have had so much ribbing about that over the years ๐Ÿ˜€

    I do tend to cook for others more than they cook for me so this way it evens out. I buy the food they buy the wine

    i cook, she washes up, they bring the funk.

    thats the way it rolls in my hizzle.

    i dont buy friendship with wine ๐Ÿ˜† you all sound like you drink wine with every meal… bunch of problem drinkers, you know its a gateway drug and you’ll be snorting permanent maker next?!

    (if people want to drink whilst visiting then they can bring their own booze, if i do decide i want a drink (less than 2 “units” worth a month on average) then i will of course offer whatever i’m having to any guests at the time.)

    don simon
    Member

    Spud – Member

    Don’t get me started!

    Holy crap! iDave’s dog has got a log in!!! ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

    How are you new dog owners getting on?

    Would you bring a tea bag or coffee sachet (or whatever those things are caled that George Clooney advertises are called) or even biscuits if I invite you for a coffee?
    If I invite you to my home it’s out of frienship and the cost is not important. Equally with rounds, a round is a round and you pay, the guy who orders triple vodka and Red Bull for each round and orders themselves a tap water is unlikely to be a friend for much longer!!

    CaptJon
    Member

    Wow, the politics are incredible for some of you.

    I don’t buy people a drink with the expectation that they will return the favour, i buy them a drink because i want to, if they want to buy me one in return it is a bonus, but i don’t expect it. The people i drink with are a mix of drinkers and non-drinkers, who drink various drinks at various speeds. People buy people drinks whenever. It might not even out over the night, but in the long term it probably does. And some people are more than happy to pay for more than they receive because some people aren’t as wealthy as others – one friend gets incredibly generous when he has had a few. So much so he disappeared for 40 minutes during someone’s leaving do and returned with a ยฃ500 bottle of wine for which he refused to take any money despite everyone sampling it.

    waynekerr
    Member

    devs knows the score

    iDave
    Member

    Spud needs to balance the border terrier niche, so he has his own STW account now.

    Apart from having a go at a husky in the pub he’s is grand. Pub regulars appreciate his stance on being a terrier.

    lazybike
    Member

    Unfriendly or trolling?

    KT1973
    Member

    philconsequence – Member
    i cook, she washes up, they bring the funk.

    thats the way it rolls in my hizzle.

    i dont buy friendship with wine you all sound like you drink wine with every meal… bunch of problem drinkers, you know its a gateway drug and you’ll be snorting permanent maker next?!

    (if people want to drink whilst visiting then they can bring their own booze, if i do decide i want a drink (less than 2 “units” worth a month on average) then i will of course offer whatever i’m having to any guests at the time.)

    Top notch postage my man!

Viewing 29 posts - 41 through 69 (of 69 total)

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