Although I’m not sure if it was life changing, I had my first flight related panic attack leading to a blackout leading to pronounced unfit to fly at Heathrow airport after being cajoled by work to take United Airlines flight to US en-route to NZ.  I never boarded the flight.

My flight was scheduled late afternoon, September 10th 2001.

‘At 10 weeks old after having an operation ( pyloric stenosis)..my parents were told that I would probably have died within 3 days if they hadn’t operated when they did .’

Dejavu with that one. Also, still see the scar, also 61 (this year).

At 48, diagnosed with bowel cancer. (Went to Doctor with back ache, pulled a muscle jet washing drive, patio etc. She was actually more interested why I was on iron tablets. Previous visit to another Doctor a few months earlier when I was feeling ‘a bit off colour’. He put me on those. She knew that wasn’t right)

Full works, radiotherapy, chemotherapy,surgery. 18 months off work. Now fitter than before.

2 bullets dodged!

We managed to be on a trident returning from Spain in the 70’s to Heathrow. On final approach the pilot got to the end of the runway and then applied full throttle and maximum climb. All around the cabin last nights Sangria and the morning breakfast was deposited in the sick bags. The pilot apologised and said some fool allowed another plane to take off as he was landing!

My first girlfriend at 16 was a Louise..nice girl but just way too quiet .we didn’t last too long ..

Neither did I when I was 16…

I can add two bathtub-related near misses. First I was too young to remember, but my mum went to answer the phone whilst giving me a bath. When she got back I’d slid under the water and had stopped breathing. Dad resuscitated me, apparently.

Second I was a teenager. Nice hot bath, pulled the plug out, stood up and promptly fainted. Woke up some time later flat on my back with a sore head in the bottom of a cold, empty bath. I’d evidently collapsed and twatted my noggin off the bath on my way down. Might have been nasty if I’d not pulled the plug before standing up!

Happiness.

I was about 18 and was at Cannock Chase with a few mates, anyhow we decided to climb the pine trees.

I’d climbed right to the top of mine which was about 30′, but the tree my mate was in was taller, so I got him to swing his tree side to side whilst I did the same, when they crossed I made a grab for his ending up spread eagled between the two trees at the very top. A bit more swaying and a leap and I was across, right until the top of the tree snapped off in my hands and I fell backwards through the branches, passing my mate on the way down.

I remember it seemingly taking ages to fall, even wondering on the way down about  where the floor was and snapping my neck once I did hit it.

Anyhow I came to lying on my back in a load of pine needles, with everyone standing around me and the top of the tree still in my hands. 18″ to my left was a tree stump sticking a foot out of the ground. A few seconds later I was up and walking away laughing with nothing but a few scratches on my neck.

I nearly choked to death on a piece of artichoke at Pizza Express on Christmas Eve. I started spluttering so left the table and went to the loo, which in hindsight was a massive mistake. After what felt like hours without breathing, but was probably only about 90 seconds, I realised that I was in trouble… and alone.

I ended up chucking myself backwards into the loo door, which dislodged the artichoke, and then sprayed the opposite wall of the loo with bile, phlegm and about 50% of a Caesar Salad.

The racket that I made alerted the staff who very kindly gave me some water and allowed me to collapse in the corridor behind the till bench thing.

Dodged a bullet and scared myself shitless.

Got off a fairground ride and helped a young lass into what was my seat.

As I walked away her carriage flew off into the crowd, injuring a few and killing her.

Don’t go on rides anymore.

4weeks ago, 5maybe. I was driving down the A9 about 5.30-6.00 pm, you know that horrible light but not light time. I’m about a mile from my turn off (Carrbridge) car on cruise control due to average speed cameras when it suddenly dawns on me that those headlights in front of me are in my lane. Shhiiiiittt! Slammed on the brakes (as did the logging lorry the lassie in the Corsa was overtaking) and somehow the car pulled in before we met head-on. I think her name might’ve been Louise (but I’m not sure).

Same night, when I got to the A93 just outside Ballater the road was blocked and a tailback starting to form. I got out the car to see what the problem was, a car and a bus had collided. As I was asking whether anyone was hurt I heard a guy on the phone to emergency services saying ‘well, he’s breathing but…’ not for much longer unfortunately. He died. Crash had happened 10-15minutes earlier.

when I was 21 I borrowed my brothers GS750 (which was bored out to 890 with a Yoshi racing kit) and managed to glance it off a stone dyke travelling somewhere between 80-100mph. Fortunately I was thrown over the bars as had I hit square I’d probably have separated my torso from the bottom half of my body as that appears common… I (literally) walked away with a couple minor broken bones (nose, scaphoid), skinned knees, my skull showing in a couple places and hundreds of other cuts and bruises….