Anyone got/seen amusing ones?

The best i’ve had was from a professor colleague which simply said: “I’m on a beach.”

From a civils engineer I’m currently working with ‘I’ve dug another tunnel and escaped to France”

He’s a tunneller… [sighs]

Goodbye I have left the country and will not be returning. Please contact someone else

(not sure how long the account stayed open though

“I’m either on leave or else your message is unimportant to me and I’ve added this to avoid you. I get lots of messages when I’m away and I struggle with long sentences when I get back; If you feel I do need to see your message please hesitate to send it again after …”

(it doesn’t, but it should)

My last one 14th July 2010 read. Leave me alone, I’ve retired…. (I was 40 and 1 month)

thegreatape is on leave until xx/xx/xx. If your enquiry is urgent then good luck with that.

I am spending a year dead for tax reasons.