This evening I decided to try the "pump them to 120psi" method to seat my tyres properly. Trouble is, my track pump hasn't got a pressure gauge. Never mind – my car tyres are pretty solid at 30psi, so I thought I'd just pump them that hard, then add four times as much. Easy peasy.
So I'm stood in the garage, pumping for a good 5 mins, when my wife comes in to get some peas out of the fridge/freezer.
"What are you doing?" Pfft, pfft, pfft.
"Getting my tyres to fit properly" pfft, pfft, pfft
"Dinner will be 20 minutes" pfft, pfft pfft, pfft
"Great" pffffft, pffffffffft, pffffffffffffft
The handle is needing my full weight behind it now to push down on the pump. Pffffffffffffft
Wife's rummaging around the freezer drawer at floor level with fridge door open above and all is well with the world. Pffffffffffffffffffffft.
"Are you going out on your bi…"….BANG!!!!!!!!
THE-FRIGHT-OF-MY-LIFE. My wife jumps up, hits her head on the open fridge door, bottles of lager and vegetables roll out and crash on the floor. Meanwhile, the dog has run into the wall, yelping, and has limped ever since. My wife, wobbling from head to foot and eyeballs oscillating, then gives me a right ear bashing (wasted on me though because I can't hear anything through the tinnitus) and has been speaking in loud tones ever since. Through the window, the neighbours are all out, shrugging quizzically at each other and looking to the sky. Now I've got a tremor so bad that I can't put a cuppa to my thick lip and my wife's suddenly wearing a different pair of jeans (which I hope is a result of spilled lager but I daren't ask in case not)
My brother says I've got it all wrong and that I should learn how to spray lighter fluid on the rim and set it alight, because they self inflate and snap on the rim nicely that way. I learned to buy a track pump with a pressure gauge instead of relying on guesswork and that soapy water/GT85 probably works better.