Lets say there was a tournament of champions type event.

BMX
4X
XC racing
Endruo
Downhill
Gravel
CX Crit style
RR Crit
RR long/tour

For example, you rode all events against ‘peers’ which event do you think you’d perform best in and why ?

For me, i think XC Racing would be about my best relative performance indicator, possibly even gravel, I’m OK at slogging out the miles when i need to, but XC i have enough skills at times and on the right layouts i can hold my own in mid-pack against your average MTBer. But DH and enduro are above my skill level (unless a fairly easy Enrudo, certainly not something like EWS). Crits/road race etc i’m just too damn big for them… I have power but the weight kills off any chance in them.

So what’s yours, why ?

Falling off!

AA was too quick with the same response as me. I fell of riding up a simple hill the other day. Glasses steamed up so went to remove them and missed a rock sticking up and over the handlebars I go! Nice Garmin imprint on my stomach.

I genuinely wouldn’t shine in any event there. Downhill on the road is about the only place that I can outshine my peers!

Fettlin’

Wandering around the scenery looking for picnic spots. Me and t’missus are champion picnicers. Mind you I am not sure this is a competative event.

Spectating.

pushing uphill.

#noshameinpushing

Bike cleaning. By the end of the season it would be podium position for me.

The only bicycle race I have ever won was the slow bicycle race at school sports day, aged about 9, but I don’t see that on your list.

I’ve also won the Wight Diamond Crazy Golf Challenge, but that was largely because we were the only ones doing it, we invented it and did it for about five years running when we should have been doing the proper event, and eventually the Trail Break guys gave us a prize (a golf ball each).

So if it involves riding slowly and stopping regularly to be a bit of a dick, I’m in 👍

Cake eating.

Messing about and bimbling

Long distance – I can go slow for ages.
and if faffing pre ride was an event ,I’d be the World champ.

BEST EVENT
Eating jelly babies to keep me going.

WHY
I’m diabetic and there’s lots of easy to eat energy

In truth, and it’s not on the list.
First few miles of all,I go out always like a rocket, and suffer later.
So the shortest discipline would be my best.

My mates say go steady not Stoddy.

Hill climbing. All of my KOMs and top 10 times are up hill (on road and gravel)

I would have added BMX if it were 35 years ago when I was very quick round the local tracks but that speed is just a memory now.

Having just checked my Garmin it appears my ‘mincing’ profile has the most miles on it this year…

24hr XC, by far my best event. Then if I had to pick from that list, it’d be XC

Faffing at the start of the ride

Losing the tool I’ve just put down

Is there a raffle? I hope there’s a raffle.

Purchasing useless bling.

Bimbling around until i reach the top of a hill. Things tend to do downhill quickly after that.

Definitely cake eating. But I’d be top-ten in espresso drinking too.

I’m not very fast or very skillful compared to my friends, however, I am very stubborn and have the ability to just keep going so I guess long distance endurance as my friends would get bored and give up before me.

Berating the mechanical ineptitude of others… and then spending 3 hours making a non-tubeless tyre fail to inflate on a tubeless wheel.

Steep 1 minute climbs. Or road bike descents in mountains, tend to be overtaking most of the way in big events although starting from mid pack obscurity at the top.

One of my proudest moments was being congratulated by an old French guy who had followed me down the Portillon during the Haute Route Alps.

Used to be single speeding in that I would regularly beat people on their 21 speed new fangled gadgets but these days CX.

Commute Road Raging. Podium place, no doubt.

5-10 years ago when i was in my 30’s i would of said Bmx

[url=https://flic.kr/p/23y8LFS]nbmx166[/url] by escrs1, on Flickr

2-3 years ago i would of said road bike (averaged 250 miles a week, every week)

Right now, nothing, have a baby so time is limited but did buy a e-mtb so i could have more fun in a short amount of time, although im doing ok against other mates with e-mtb’s in our little challenges

My best would probably be Downhill, not because I’m amazing at it, just because its bloody terrifying and great fun

Right now – nothing.
I suppose when i’m fit, the only one of those I race (a bit) is xc so i’ll have to pick xc. I am getting tempted by enduro though. Seems to be lots of local races, so I will have a go at some point.

I thought I was going to be funny by saying “maintenance” but I was beaten to it by over 2 hours and I’m not even that good at it.

I did once win a 12 hour XC race, although it was a small field, so I’d have to say that. Not true any longer – I don’d have so much time to ride enough any more!

Explaining the finer points of my bike to strangers who never asked for the information.

Eating crisps.

“Peers”?
I had to google the term to be sure of it’s actual meaning. Turns out it means your equal and seems to be age related and if you’re good enough at something you can apparenly be “peerless”
I’m way more skilled, stylish and confident on a bike than 99% of folk my age but probably fairly average fitness wise these days apart from strength.
so…

DH is probably the only genuine competitive event I could still excel in my age category at but I honestly have no interest in competing anymore.

I do love doing whips and mannys though so probably those. (seeing as most 49yr olds can’t do either)

I would say staring out of the window procrastinating just long enough so that i don’t actually have time to ride anymore because we need to f***ing to go to ikea.

Race bike prep.
I am gold medal material.
I don’t care what happens after the flag drops,but I loathe mechanical failures that steal any placings in an event.

If there was an xc hill climb then probably that. I’m not ballsy/skillful enough to be anything more than midpack in an xc race; all the time i make up climbing i loose by mincing down the b-lines. For the same reason I would nver dare try an enduro or DH race!

CX on the other hand, I feel my bike handling is better than a lot of the roadies and my fitness is good enough to get a few top tens each season. When I think about it that puts me in the top 1/4 to 1/3 of the pack so not actually that much better than my xc results. But for some reason I percieve it as better so that’s my best discipline. I also enjoy it more, which lets face it is the most important thing when you are jsut messing around on bikes on the weekend

Technical climbing – unfortunately there isn’t an event for that 🙁

Downhill.

I’m a little uncomfortable with bigging myself up but always been comfortable and in amongst the quickest with riding peers (even if I do say so myself).

Did a few races years ago and did well but quickly got annoyed with the cost versus standing around in queues with your bike waiting for an uplift ratio. Always a bit sketchy under pressure of racing too. Much better just with mates. 🙂

Never really had the riding time available and hence the fitness for enduro, too chunky for xc and no interest in riding around fields anyway.

I am the world champion beer tourer,

That bit where you stop for a chat and to catch your breath.