Right… I want a new car/van 🙂 Something that can fit 2-3 bikes with wheels on comfortably with luggage (XL and small 29er). Ideally around 2-3k, fairly cheap to run and undesirable (for the reason below).

Sunday night (around 11:45PM) I heard what sounded like a drilling noise outside. So I looked out of the window and spotted someone under my car. Managed to chase them off with a handle bar, then they tried to come back, just before police arrived! Looked like they were after my number plates.

Police arrived soon after, took a statement and had a look around the area.

Fast forward to this morning (5:45am), heard the same noise again and my alarm actually went off this time. Missus shouted “they’re back!” Ran out again, wife’s head has completely gone so much that she didn’t notice 3 of them sitting in a car. I drove them off again, shouted at her to phone police again.

Police arrive again, speak to them and they drive off. Scrotes come back again! This time we hid and phoned police in the hope that they could catch them under the car. Realised by this time it was a battery angle grinder and they were after the exhaust/cat.

Police van turned up and gave chase, then returned to us when they got away. Had another chat etc and left. Then, they came back again!! (7:00am). On phone to Police while I’m watching them drag my exhaust into their car and drive off…

Rare car is going to equals expensive replacement (Forester XTEN 2.5 Turbo). I think my insurance excess is going to be cheaper so will probably end up getting it repaired and selling it. Keeping it in the warehouse at work till it’s sold now.

It’s a shame because I love the car, but I love sleeping more lol.

So for those reasons, please help me find a cheap undesirable, practical vehicle 🙂

Sounds like a Citroen Berlingo is the car you need.

As to the other thing – 😮 repeat attempts after you’ve chased them off and the police chase! Blimey. Presumably they were in a stolen car or at least one with dodgy plates otherwise they won’t be hard to locate.

Shame you can’t wire the exhaust to the battery, or perhaps a tiger.

Police told me it’s what they call a “trade car”. Basically it’s unregistered to anyone and they’ll just pass it around then burn it out eventually.

I might have jokingly suggested wiring it up to the lamp post, but ironically it wasn’t working!

Something like a Berlingo is a good shout. Cheap, roomy and hopefully comfortable. No one will look twice at it either (at least that’s the plan).

Rare car is going to equals expensive replacement (Forester XTEN 2.5 Turbo).

Although theres a fair amount of scrap value in a CAT the persistence might indicate the fun you might have getting a replacement. Subaru can be a right royal pain in the chuff for some parts – not the cost but the time.

My sister in laws old Legacy got broken into and they broke the ignition barrel in the attempt to steel it. The time line for the replacement barrel and other related minor bits to get it mobile again was so long she just had to scrap the car.

Yeah I thought as much to be honest. The garage didn’t have much faith when I was talking to them this morning. Reckon it could be possible for the insurers to end up writing it off?

Would be less hassle really, but it would be a shame as it’s got every service/receipt with the car and I’m only the second owner. I’ve not even looked at any other damage that might have been caused.

Looks like the wire going into the rear diff is slightly damaged though.

de-cat and re-map?

Haha, would have been an idea! Nah, getting rid because Police can’t even stop them coming back. Good chance based on what’s happened that if I get it sorted, it’ll happen again.

Undesirable? Surely only one answer to that:

As for the receipts, value — be prepared to haggle, don’t take first offer etc. I had a car (owned from new) nicked, got a reasonable replacement value with resort to looking at s/h prices, getting letter from garage, detailing accessories and contents.

Another subsequent car was written off, garage was able to write a letter as to condition, service, value; after a couple of offers I got a decent amount again; I had full set of history of receipts, log book; what my boss called the ‘doof’ factor – basically collect as much as you can, to back up your case, and drop it on their desk.

would’ve been a great place to use one of those alarm mines!!

would’ve been a great place to use one of those alarm claymore mines!!

fixed that for you

Thanks for all the replies. I remember thinking the Multipla was the weirdest thing I’d seen when I was younger 🙂

I’ve already got plenty of auto trader examples of the same car saved and my folder with all the service history etc on hand. Insurance claim has been started, just waiting for the repair place to get in touch now.

I spend too much time on here, I was thinking of those mines today haha.

What about these with front wheels removed (bikes, not car)?
https://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/201909202449372?advertising-location=at_cars&postcode=wn71ex&onesearchad=Used&onesearchad=Nearly%20New&onesearchad=New&sort=distance&radius=1500&price-from=500&price-to=3000&page=11

https://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/202002056992137?advertising-location=at_cars&postcode=wn71ex&onesearchad=Used&onesearchad=Nearly%20New&onesearchad=New&sort=distance&radius=1500&price-from=500&price-to=3000&page=11

I just can’t believe that I have reached a point in my life where a Berlingo is my dream car!

kcal

Subscriber

As for the receipts, value — be prepared to haggle, don’t take first offer etc. I had a car (owned from new) nicked, got a reasonable replacement value with resort to looking at s/h prices, getting letter from garage, detailing accessories and contents.

I had this recently, and even with screen shots from autotrader they would not budge from (IIRC) the average of three book prices and pointed me to the bit in industry guidelines which said as much. **** annoying because it was well below what we could by a replacement for, for a non-fault accident.

I used to love my cars, it’s partly why I bought the Forester rather than something cheaper to run. Now I don’t care what it looks like. Function over form for me now!

Cheap to run/repair and space for outdoor stuff like big bikes etc.

I’d avoid the Renault. 18 years old and if a thing went wrong with the 4wd system parts probably hard to get hold of. Pretty cool though.

Yeah, point taken on the Renault. There’s plenty of normal ones knocking about too I might look at.

Something like a Berlingo is a good shout. Cheap, roomy and hopefully comfortable.

Horrid things, I hate them with an overwhelming passion! Most have very little seat adjustment, being van-based, so when seated your legs are bent like sitting at a dining table, and there’s a footrest on the side of the transmission bulge next to the brake/clutch pedal, meaning it’s impossible to stretch your legs out on long journeys.
Which might be fine if you have little stumpy legs, but mine are average, and I have a shonky left knee, with osteoarthritis, after coming off my bike, and the driving position in Partner/Berlingo cars has had me almost in tears when I was driving for BCA, I dreaded picking one up in Cornwall and having a 230 mile, three hour drive back home. The auto version has a very slow shift as well, giving a nodding donkey effect as you accelerate, which is annoying.
There are other, similar vehicles around with a greater range of adjustment for driver and passengers, something like the Ford Tourneo is much more comfortable, has a much, much better auto ‘box, and you get things like a heated screen as well.

Start the search for a s/h Cat.
In the meanwhile, De-Cat it till MOT time.

I’m used to that seating position from driving the work’s Expert van and I don’t really mind it to be honest. I’ll have to have a sit in one though to make sure.

Car is in the hands of the insurer now and I’m not keeping it anyway. Now they know they can get away with it, they’ll try again if I keep it. My mate used to have an Impreza and his house got broken into twice looking for his keys!

I’d consider a Tourneo, but I doubt I’d get something for less that 3.5k.

I just can’t believe that I have reached a point in my life where a Berlingo is my dream car!

Just so I’ve got some advance warning, what age does that happen? 79? 80? 90?

Skoda Octavia Scout?

Now I don’t care what it looks like. Function over form for me now!

you are/were driving a forester. that ship sailed a long time ago 😉

I might go out a check in a bit that the exhaust is still on my outback…

something like the Ford Tourneo i

tourneo (newer shape) is way more expensive than an equivalent age berlingo though.

Have you tried slipping your shoe off and sliding your foot under the clutch pedal? works for me on similar cars..

Which might be fine if you have little stumpy legs, but mine are average, and I have a shonky left knee, with osteoarthritis, after coming off my bike, and the driving position in Partner/Berlingo cars has had me almost in tears when I was driving for BCA

I’m sorry your short with arthritis and bad posture.

But as someone with long legs considered tall no arthritis and good posture.

The Berlingo is more comfortable than any other car I’ve had to the point I’ve driven from Amsterdam to bourg d’ossans in one stint with no pain.
My parents range rover was comfier I’ll give you that. Similar sit up position but just nicer more supportive surrounding seats.

Their eclass was not even close in comfort. It had that slouch position you prefer though.

And the fact they are still made suggests the issue is with your physiology rather than the vehicle.

There are other, similar vehicles around with a greater range of adjustment for driver and passengers, something like the Ford Tourneo

At twice the price. If by similar we are accepting of huge price hikes then why not a v class.

@DaveyBoyWonder

I don’t think it’s an age thing, I started to get aroused by practical cars when my 1.0 Focus looked like this:

Having kids, boats and bikes is what initiates these practical ideas.

I have a very narrow drive so I find sliding doors are very stimulating and I would love to have something that a bike would fit in, to make it slightly more theft-proof.

I’m currently not feeling the love for Ford, after finding litres of water in secret compartments underneath the boot (common fault with Mk3 Focus apparently).

Mick

Recovery truck picked it up today. It sounded fantastic when it was fired up! We’ll see if it gets written off (kinda hoping it does now). Got a Fiesta courtesy car, so it’s the pump track for the time being 🙂

Thanks for cheering me up more than anything.

Just get a full size mpv like a Ford galaxy or citroen equivalent

Almost van like space, very comfortable and practical, drives and handles like a car, crash tested

It’s what I’ll do when kids are bigger

Zafira tourer is supposed to drive acceptably, though not as well as s max

Had a 2.2 Galaxy on my watch list, but I understand the Berlingo/Parner has a taller load space, which is what I need really. I don’t mind having to take the front wheels off to stand them up, but I hated transporting bikes laying on top of each other.

Also looked at a C4 Grand Picasso as they look pretty huge! Biggest bike is an XL Trek Slash and Ibis DV9. Smallest are a 29er Marin B17 and Pro Caliber (small).

Driven a few and owned a couple of Vauxhall. Wouldn’t do it again 🙂

Got a Fiesta courtesy car, so it’s the pump track for the time being

Will it not bottom out?

😉

Horrid things, I hate them with an overwhelming passion! Most have very little seat adjustment, being van-based, so when seated your legs are bent like sitting at a dining table,

the first generation were absolutely fine in that respect. And probably has one of the best ride qualities you can buy.  The second generation – which will be the majority on the road now- have a terrible pedal position for taller drivers. But thats the case of all the Citroen /peugeots of that era. Its not a van-based thing its an NCAP thing – all the cars on that platform move the drivers feet back into the cabin and behind the door pillar out of harms way. In the Berlingo that moves your heals back and your knees up but the seat position /shape doesn’t account for that so your thighs are unsupported by the seat base. In their other cars on that platform you can never really find a balance between with the pedals being too close and the steering wheel too far away.

We have a newish Peugeot Partner and I loved it.

I’m really tall and the driving positron works well for works well for me as well as my wife who is much much shorter.

The load space is great on terms of volume but it’s quite short. The rear seats fold forward reducing the floor length still further. I don’t think my mountain bike goes in with a rear seat present and rear wheel on. Both wheels off no problem. It’s much better if you take the seat out. But I’d check with some one with with a more modern 29er to see how they get on.

I use to own a Renault grand scenic. Much much longer load area still with good height. But terrible reliability. I’d be wary of buying an old Renault

Haha, @poly, we shall see 🙂

I think I’ll take a tape measure when I go looking to see how they’ll go in. Some people might frown if I turn up and try to shoe horn bikes in the back of their cars!

Skoda roomster with a 1.9 pd TDI engine.

Loved by Christians so must be brilliant.

Probably the best diesel engine ever made, decent to drive and fits everything in.

Way superior to a bellingo

I had a look at the Roomster, but I couldn’t see many available nearer to me. Going to have another look though while I’m waiting for the verdict.

VW Sharan. Mate had one pretty huge and bomb proof.

Had a look at those and most that are a reasonable distance away are well out of my price range.

Mild thread hijack…

Berlingo (mk2) owners – with winter tyres they are reasonable on wintery back roads aren’t they?

Stuff that looks like this rather than pushing through a snow drift or a few snowflakes:-