Chamois cream without the bike tax basically?

Sudacreme, just don’t get it on your cat

i’m always amazed that people recommend Sudocrem, it’s thick, sticky and as it’s water repellent it blocks pores rather then helping things breathe, it’s specifically designed to treat nappy rash rather than prevent any nasties down there

udder cream is a frequently suggested cheap alternative (only available over specific counters though)

Sudocrem is lanolin based.

Lanolin comes from sheep.

Avoid the consumer product tax and just rub yourself on a sheep’s oily secretions.

£3.

https://www.planetx.co.uk/i/q/HNEZBHCC/enzos-buttonhole-chamois-cream

Px stuff.

Ovelle Aqueous Cream works for me on long rides.

About £3 / 500g tub from Sainsbury’s, etc. One tub last for yonks.

Sudocrem is good for healing sores, etc. if you let them develop.

Sudocrem is lanolin based.

4%. Hardly “lanolin based”. I use it if I’ve got a sore botty but I don’t think it’s “anti-friction” enough to use as a chamois cream.

take-away restaurants often leave tubs of old cooking oil in the street, if you get the right kind of take-away the oil will contain lamb/beef/chicken fats to improve the mix.
1 can will last you a lifetime.

or do what normal people do and buy a tub/tube of chamois cream for a few quid.

Deb cleanser, just avoid the gritted scrub version.

E45 from the tub not tube

Germolene with local anaesthetic works for me. If you get sore the anaesthetic stops you feeling it. Except you won’t know if youv’ve got a sore bum or not. 🙂

I just use Sudacreme, seems to work fine.

E45 or if I know I’m gonna be arse crack deep in clag sudocrem

Zerobase Emollient cream,buy the 500gm dispensing tubs,very cost effective and works well.

Get thee to Waitrose!

This stuff is dope. I’ve used it for ages and it works really well.

Gold Label Udder Cream

That stuff looks good. Anyone else tempted by some of those other products? I want a gleaming coat!

BRINICOMBE Think Pink 309B

I find a normal size tub of chamois cream lasts me about a year, using on bum & knees.

I tend to get Muc Off when it’s half price for £10, they’ll probably be dong it again for Black Friday.

Hardly worth mucking about with veterinary products to save a few quid, IMO. Sudocrem seems far too thick and sticky.

Some years ago, a friend of a friend joined a group ride at Afan. As we all faffed in the car park while getting ready, he calmly pulled a bottle of Durex motion lotion out of his kit bag, squeezed a dollop on his hand and down the shorts it went.

He assured us it was better than any Assos or other arse lard.

He was also a massive bellend, but that’s beside the point.

What can you buy over the counter cheap, to use as bum butter?

Erm, well, Bum butter. It’s pretty dammed cheap and it lasts ages. It’s not like it’s a modern tyre, where it costs £60 and is done inside of 3 months.

I have nothing to add other than this marvellous occurrence in the topics list…

+1 for the Waitrose baby stuff…

I find a normal size tub of chamois cream lasts me about a year, using on bum & knees

Knees? You have friction problems on your knees? How are you pedalling?

He assured us it was better than any Assos or other arse lard.

If you’ve just accidentally pulled a tube of sex lube out of your kit bag one option is to style it out I suppose.  Friend of a friend you say?

If you’ve just accidentally pulled a tube of sex lube out of your kit bag one option is to style it out I suppose.

Hadn’t thought of it like that! 😁

Friend of a friend you say?

Yep. Turned out to be a dick, so wasn’t invited back! Nothing to do with his bottle of go faster juice, though!

For the Sudocrem fans – you can get non-medicated nappy cream which is basically Sudocrem without the anti-bacterial stuff. Allegedly you don’t want to completely disinfect your skin unless you have a sore which might get infected if you didn’t.

I think the whole point about it is is it oil-based and so continues to provide lubrication in the wet. Given that a wet nappy is not dissimilar to a wet chamois pad (from rain…) the use cases are quite similar.

This was a life saver in Finale a few years ago, was thinking about importing it! 3 Euros a jar at the Finalborgo chemists…

Marbles are re-usable

The deprived communities of the north of England will be following this thread with interest once they’ve voted Boris in and he goes in dry.

I once went on a mate’s ride after a night up to no good with the missus. Forgot my bum cream but still had the sex lube so just rammed some of that down my shorts. Worked a treat, the others seem a bit put off by it but they were dicks so never rode with them again.

Knees? You have friction problems on your knees? How are you pedalling?

Kneepad chafage prevention.

😁

So jimmy, you forgot your chammy cream but just happened to have your lube with you? Who were expecting to meet on your “mate’s ride”?