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  • What animal could you take on in unarmed combat
  • poah
    Free Member

    Not sure what is more worrying. ~30% of people don’t think they could take on a rat or 10% of americans think they could take on an elephant.

    What animal could you take on?

    matt_outandabout
    Full Member

    Brits are clearly more fighters lovers than the yanks

    joshvegas
    Free Member

    ~30% of people don’t think they could take on a rat

    I’d say that 30% are the informed minority!

    I’ve caught a rat with a spade and a hammer. **** going hand to hand.

    steezysix
    Free Member

    I’ve always thought I would win against a wolf (just one, not a pack). It’s just a big dog at the end of the day. I’m not saying I would escape unhurt, but pretty sure I could come out victorious. I love that more people think a king cobra would be easier to handle 😂

    Edit: A goose!? Hell no, those things are terrifying!

    funkmasterp
    Full Member

    I reckon I could take on a large dog. I’ve owned a few and they tend to be placid, slow and spend 99.9% of their time asleep. House cat, no problem and I fancy my chances against an eagle if indoors. Would be close though and I’d have some top scars for life.

    johnx2
    Free Member

    Where are midges?

    I don’t think a cobra would be a big deal. But an adult chimp could just pull your arms and legs off

    molgrips
    Full Member

    I’d say that 30% are the informed minority!

    It says take on, not defeat. I mean, if I had to kill a rat and had no weapons, I’d give it a go. I might not win but I doubt I’d lose. I’d be far less confident against an elephant.

    Large dog – depends on the stakes. For a bag of dog biscuits, unless I were starving then I’d let it. If it had my kid in its jaws, definitely.

    pondo
    Full Member

    I’d fancy my chances a boatload more against a kangaroo than I would a chimp! I can’t imagine the mindset that allows you to think you could beat a gorilla, lion, elephant or grizzly – I’ve never been that confident.

    mattyfez
    Full Member

    Are we talking hand-to hand/ or do we have a RAMBO knife?

    doomanic
    Full Member

    I reckon I’d stand a chance against a Quokka but I’d be forever an outcast once people found out.

    Northwind
    Full Member

    pondo
    Full Member

    I’d fancy my chances a boatload more against a kangaroo than I would a chimp! I can’t imagine the mindset that allows you to think you could beat a gorilla, lion, elephant or grizzly – I’ve never been that confident.

    The question is, what sort of unarmed combat. Like, if it’s no-holds-barred, I wouldn’t fancy my chances but I’d be pretty confident that an elephant doesn’t fully grasp the rules of boxing, frinstance, and is likely to get disqualified.

    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/ayMBxLX_700bwp.webpA horse of course

    Bruce
    Full Member

    I don’t fancy my chances with any of those, wild animals are best observed from a safe distance.

    tjagain
    Full Member

    Red kangaroos are nowt to be trifled with.  Up to 1.8 m tall, 90 kg and they grab round the neck with their front paws and disembowel with their powerful back legs.  They are used to fighting each other despite being herbivores  I would not fancy my chances.  I d rather take on a wolf.

    bfw
    Full Member

    There was a R4 prog a while back talking about people are more dumb now, ie I am sure I could fight a Grizzly… They were blaming the likes of YT

    sirromj
    Full Member

    I’m not keen to fight anything, is that okay?

    Saying that, I have seen all the Crocodile Dundee films so could probably kill a croc with my bear hands by repeatedly punching it in the face.

    kayak23
    Full Member

    I reckon I could seriously **** up a pigeon.

    Caher
    Full Member

    Love these, real pub conversation. Anyway I reckon I’d struggle against a T-Rex. And Zippy and Bungle.

    peter1979
    Free Member

    I would reckon I could take on a guinea pig if the fight was a fair one. I’d struggle against a russian dwarf hamster. They are vicious.

    Monkey wise, maybe I could take a tamarin, few kicks to the face. Smother it when it’s knocked out.

    matt_outandabout
    Full Member

    I fancy my chances against an eagle if indoors

    How big is the room?
    Banska Stiavnica - Erasmus+ Bioprofiles

    peter1979
    Free Member

    Just wondering wether I could take a goat down. That would be an interesting match up. A lot of dodging, then wrestling. I think that would be a really tough fight.

    nick1962
    Free Member

    My takeaway from this is that whoever designed this survey had clearly been microdosing. Alas they missed the more interesting subsidiary question of what would vegans do.

    matt_outandabout
    Full Member

    Also, that research needs a triangulated approach to give a centre ground.
    I vote that we ask the resident Aussies in the forum….

    thisisnotaspoon
    Full Member

    I’d fancy my chances a boatload more against a kangaroo than I would a chimp! I can’t imagine the mindset that allows you to think you could beat a gorilla, lion, elephant or grizzly – I’ve never been that confident.

    Allowing for some reading comprehension, the gun owning ones?

    johnners
    Free Member

    Edit: A goose!? Hell no, those things are terrifying!

    That reminds me, one of those bastards used to terrorise me on one of my COVID walking routes during spring 2020 lockdown. It’d lay in wait somewhere as I passed the farm then suddenly appear from nowhere and put the absolute shits up me. I always swore I’d come back in my car when lockdown was over and run the sod over.

    Now on the list of Thursday’s jobs, goose murdering!

    dissonance
    Full Member

    I’d struggle against a russian dwarf hamster. They are vicious.

    They are still semi-tameable though. Its the other species which have cant be which are the really scary ones.

    I am curious who thinks they could take an elephant unarmed. Exactly what is their plan of attack there.

    Northwind
    Full Member

    matt_outandabout
    Full Member

    I vote that we ask the resident Aussies in the forum….

    WE could do but they wouldn’t answer, they’re all too busy fighting spiders

    theotherjonv
    Full Member

    could probably kill a croc with my bear hands

    Chance are significantly enhanced if you have bear hands, as opposed to bare ones.

    thisisnotaspoon
    Full Member

    Surely there’s a point at which biomechanically it’s no longer possible?

    If you got lucky then you could break the neck of anything smaller than the medium dog, or the snake, but anything larger and in the absence of tools, what’s the strategy?

    more interesting subsidiary question of what would vegans do.

    Laugh from the sidelines as all the “I’d definitely be prepared to kill my own food” get mauled.

    Shout “he’s behind you” as Basic-Bacon-Bro is distracted from the gorilla as he tells the “how can you tell someone is vegan?” joke for the hundredth time.

    Eats shoots and leaves.

    tthew
    Full Member

    I am curious who thinks they could take an elephant unarmed. Exactly what is their plan of attack there.

    Run round behind it and punch it in the bollocks. Easy. Next!.

    matt_outandabout
    Full Member

    but anything larger and in the absence of tools, what’s the strategy?

    Kick in the bollocks.

    Edit: beaten to it

    2md edit: failing finding balls.

    Not a cat

    kayak23
    Full Member

    I am curious who thinks they could take an elephant unarmed. Exactly what is their plan of attack there.

    Trip it up then suffocate it by putting its nose up your jumper.

    tjagain
    Full Member

    but anything larger and in the absence of tools, what’s the strategy?

    Choke it to death by getting stuck in its throat

    shermer75
    Free Member

    If you got lucky then you could break the neck of anything smaller than the medium dog, or the snake, but anything larger and in the absence of tools, what’s the strategy?

    Our unique ability to turn our hands into fists is one of the more overlooked things that gave us an edge over our competitors in the food chain back in the day, so you could use those

    https://www.economist.com/science-and-technology/2012/12/22/making-a-fist-of-it

    nickc
    Full Member

    People are stupid, a chimp could pull you apart without really breaking a sweat. I’ve been 20ft away from a black bear, and it was obvious to both of us who was in charge, the idea of taking on a Grizzly is fantasy land really.

    thisisnotaspoon
    Full Member

    Our unique ability to turn our hands into fists is one of the more overlooked things that gave us an edge over our competitors in the food chain back in the day, so you could use those

    Yea, but the lion isn’t going to just stand there for 12 rounds

    People are stupid, a chimp could pull you apart without really breaking a sweat. I’ve been 20ft away from a black bear, and it was obvious to both of us who was in charge, the idea of taking on a Grizzly is fantasy land really.

    I once wrote a design spec for a chimpanzee proof camera housing.

    We started with the one we developed for polar bears and made it tougher.

    shinton
    Free Member

    I reckon I could seriously **** up a pigeon.

    Have you ever tried to kick a pigeon? Even if you zero in on one with one leg you can’t do it.

    RIP Sean Lock

    matt_outandabout
    Full Member

    the idea of taking on a Grizzly is fantasy land really.

    Those crazy ‘mericans

    https://www.thejournal.ie/chasing-black-bears-massacusetts-2098908-May2015/

    MoreCashThanDash
    Full Member

    I reckon I’d stand a chance against a Quokka but I’d be forever an outcast once people found out.

    You monster!

    bikesandboots
    Full Member

    Variation – you have a multi tool and one minute to remove a part from your bike for use in the fight. What part do you use and which otherwise undefeatable animal can you win against?

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