- Weddings do they really cost that much……..
as its usualy the ladys parents who pay
well that’s the tradition but it doesn’t always happen that way.
Apart from mrs_d’s dress and a couple of nights in the bridal suite for us, I paid for everything at our wedding. Twenty guests max – close family only; no stupid disco. Civil wedding at a hotel (which just happened to also be a 14thC castle!) and photographer – total cost to me about £4k.
It doesn’t have to be a £30k tasteless splurge inviting everybody who’s ever met the bride or groom or their parents…Posted 4 years agohoojaMember
£2500 for a 2 day wedding for 100+ guests, all in.Posted 4 years ago
People still tell us what an amazing day(s) it was, all it takes is hard work and some creativity and getting your mates to help out, instead of waste their money on pointless wedding gifts.
Amazes me how so many folk spend so much money on their wedding and moan about how they struggle to pay their mortgage, strange world we live in.legendMember
all it takes is hard work and some creativity and getting your mates to help out
Now I see where you’re coming from…. the exact opposite direction from us. We went for the approach of paying a venue to do pretty much everything for us, we just had to choose the sort of event we wantedPosted 4 years agocrikeyMember
Chatting with my old next door neighbour, he said he spent £75,000 marrying off his two daughters, both having the full on traditional Pakistani wedding.
He’d been saving up for 25 years, since they were born, and now has nothing, no savings, no pension.
Seems a bit daft to me, but fair play to him for the whole thing.Posted 4 years agothe-muffin-manSubscriber
If you’ve got the money then chuck 1000’s at your wedding.
For those who haven’t got it (and borrow to pay for it) then all I would say is don’t get brain-washed into the idea that your wedding day will be the most memorable day of you life. Yes it will be good, and hopefully good fun and not too stressful! But after 22 years of marriage I can honestly say that I have had many, many more memorable days and moments than my wedding day.
Treat it as a big party and nothing more.Posted 4 years ago
I proposed after 12 longs years of avoiding it in April… Such was the surprise my 28 year old now fiancé had a stroke haha…
Anyway if you want a venue that is not a grotty worn out hotel then you can expect the venue alone to be at least £5k we have found… And even some at that price are not great.
£50 a head is pretty standard for just a basic 3 course meal.
£1000 for a photographer for the day, without getting ANY photographs is in normal, and cheap. An album… £500 extra, memory stick with photos £300 extra.
Wedding dresses that are not mass produced by debenhams, at least £1k
Drinks packes from £15 per head is normal, not many cheaper (we picked a venue that has let us take our own drinks, with no corkage fees, which can be £7.50 a bottle or more).
I don’t know many people by any stretch of the imagination, in fact I lead a quite boring friendless life compared to some, but we got to 80+ people in the day, and 120+ in the evening.
The most costly part of all… Family relationships… Right from the start all you get is ‘are you inviting such and such’… ‘why are you not inviting you 5th step cousin’.
I now know why I put it off for 12 years, and I wish I had put it off another 12 years… It’s frankly a farce and not worth it.Posted 4 years agob rMember
First time around our folks paid for it 50/50. Not silly money but still not cheap (as chips) with church, cars, do etc.
Second time myself and current OH paid. Ourselves plus 4 for the reg. office, very good meal in a private room at a very good restaurant then w/e in Paris. We then had a party at home, built a full bar outside inc. optics and hired a barmaid.
Both were good.Posted 4 years agoprojectMember
and why spend that much on a meal and some drinks.
Basicly someone i know is geting married and theyre going to spend 60 quid per person on the wedding guests, and having 50 odd guests.
Why not save the cash and spend it on the mortgage or leave it in the bank,ands asits usualy the ladys parents who pay,what happens if theyre unemployed or short of money.
Then there is the question of what to buy them for a wedding present,something novel, cheap and memorable pleasePosted 4 years agoDracSubscriber
No they don’t have to cost anything like that at all, just look around and you will find them cheap enough. We got married here and it’s still cheap, not even £500 never mind £5k for the place.Posted 4 years agofootflapsSubscriber
We’re getting married in August, all in it will come to something like £15k for 60 guests. Yep it’s a lot of money for just one day, and it does grate a bit. We’re paying for it ourselves rather than the parents, but then we both have good jobs and no kids, so are time poor rather than cash poor.
Of the top of my head, cost breakdown is something like venue £2.5k (half price for booking a Friday this year), Caterers will be something like £60 / head, Free bar £1.5k, Band £1k, Dress £1k, Civil ceremony fees are about £500, my suit £500. Can’t remember where the rest goes, but it all adds up alarmingly quickly.
As for whether it was worth it, I’ll let you know in three months…Posted 4 years agodurhambikerMember
The original plan for our wedding was a fancy do at Durham Castle after the ceremony itself at the registry office. After looking at how much saving that was going to take, we decided to bin that idea. Were we personally going to get the benefit out of spending all that cash? No chance, it was going to be a special day anyway for us, so we re-evauluated the plans.
Stuck with the registry office, which in Durham is in a gorgeous building anyway and the staff were amazing. 17 guests at the ceremony that we then had a slap up lunch for in the adjoining restaurant which was the priciest bit of the day, but was no more than £30 per head. We then buggered off to a hotel for the afternoon before heading to the evening reception.
Rather than Durham Castle, we had our reception in our favourite pub in town. They closed the place for us, the chef did an amazing spread of food and then outright refused to take any money for it, and they even got onto one of the local breweries who got a special brew on for us. We then got nicely drunk, in our local, with our friends and family, and genuinely believe we had a better time than if we’d gone for the castle.
Then used the savings to go to Bali. Get your priorities straight!Posted 4 years agoNorthwindSubscriber
Aye, as expensive as you want it to be. First rule is, never go to a wedding show. Second rule is, if you ever see a wedding magazine in the house destroy it with fire. Colleagues of mine at work spent £30000, they’d saved every penny for years, they had a nice day I suppose but it looked… Well, it looked exactly like you’d expect if a totally normal couple decide to spend £30000 on their “fairytale” wedding. Tiaras, pink everything, all that bollocks. Doves in a cage crapping on the guests.Posted 4 years ago
I’ve spunked so much money on ours so far I was dreading the thought that I wouldn’t enjoy it, divorced parents are a nightmare, children of random cousins also a nightmare, most things actually are a nightmare where wedding plans are involved.
That being said I can’t wait, I also can’t believe it’s only about 17 weeks away!Posted 4 years agoRichPennyMember
Ours was a bit shotgun, and thus very cheap as we had no money at the time. Mum and dad very kindly offered to pay for booze and food respectively. This is what I remember of the costs for 35 people:
£300 Church plus flowers, organist etc
£200 booze, plus some treats I had in the wine rack
£100 hotel room, nice 4 poster overlooking salisbury water meadows
£100 Photographer, a friend who did some studio shots with us on the morning
£60 Suit hire
Free Wedding dress, made by my wife
Free wedding rings, made by my father in law
Free invitations, made by my wife
Free venue, borrowed rooms in the lovely old place that did the food. My sis worked there.
Free car, borrowed a Bentley from work. It was black tho 😉
Free entertainment, used hi fi equipment I own
Still with all that free stuff it was expensive, and with lots of little things I’ve forgotten about.
The best wedding aside from my own that I’ve been to was in the Swiss alps, overlooking the eiger. That one must have cost a fortune, but they had the money and it was a great extended holiday for everyone.
Ours was small because most of our family are abroad and I only wanted close friends to be there. I appreciate that when you’ve got plenty of guests it can easily spiral out of control.Posted 4 years agobigdaddyMember
Its about priorities isn’t it? For us the marriage was more important than the wedding – spent about £3k all in 12years ago. Friends and family helped with favours and it was the best day ever, truly a top party with all our favourite people, much more important than wasting thousands. That money’s needed for funding subsequent children!Posted 4 years agoNZColSubscriber
2 grand for ours in a small scottish castle. Another grand for a monster party back in nz for friends. Both exceptional fun. I have been to a couple of six figure efforts, one of which the groom told me the night before that he was banging the chief bridesmaid and had been for 2 years !Posted 4 years agoampthillSubscriber
My parents paid for mine
No guilt I think it cost 10% of their cash savings and they had always said they would. I could have had an expensive wedding but actually it was cheap
I think getting married in a registry office with a smaller group and then doing an event later for the masses saves loads as then you don’t need a licenced venue.
I didn’t even realise a mate had done this. I assumed I’d watched him get married but actually it wasn’t a legal ceremony.
My wife and I ran our own service in a deconsecrated church. We did readings and sang songs and made up our own vows. Sister decorated the church with foraged stuff
No photographer. Dad said the meal cost about the same as buying a pub meal for each person
We paid for wine but not a free bar as myself and so many cousins had been getting out of order at other weddings feeling obliged to drink loads as it was freePosted 4 years ago
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