Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)
  • Wedding Presents
  • BigDummy
    Free Member

    You are sold into slavery and bought by Nigel Farage to be his wife. As a wedding gift, a wise wizard offers you one of three gifts. Which do you choose:

    The Cauldron of Hymir (which will brew on command limitless quantities of the finest mead there has ever been;

    A sophisticated virtual reality immersion tank in which you can remain in an immersive simulation indefinitely. The immersion tank will prolong your lifespan to about 300 years, although it is not guaranteed that you will be able to exit the tank. The simulation will be chosen for you by Richard Madeley, or (in the future) by a computer into which Richard Madeley’s personality has been uploaded and may change from time to time.

    The Sword of Bees. This sword is a mighty magical weapon which allows you to defeat a powerful adversary in battle. However, when it strikes down your enemy, it will tear out your entrails and you will die in your moment of triumph.

    What will you choose?

    funkmasterp
    Full Member

    The Cauldron Of Hymir without a single doubt. I’d need to be seriously inebriated simply to cope with looking at Farage. Does it also give a +10 to constitution, but with a -20 to acrobatics?

    Rubber_Buccaneer
    Full Member

    Can I not have a matching kettle and toaster?

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    crapjumper
    Free Member

    Richard madeley doesn’t have a personality . I’d go for the booze

    MarkBrewer
    Free Member

    None of them, I would just be content with the fact that I was married to Nigel Farage 😯

    Probably the cauldron 😉

    bodgy
    Free Member

    John Lewis vouchers, please!

    2tyred
    Full Member

    Could I re-purpose the Cauldron Of Hymir as a wok? That’s the one I’d probably go for, unless someone else had already bought us a wok. No household needs two woks.

    jekkyl
    Full Member

    Richard Madeley’s quite a nice guy, I doubt he’d punish you.

    YoKaiser
    Free Member

    Married to Farage, have to be a Brassneck surely?

    zippykona
    Full Member

    Don’t worry , I got it!

    dangeourbrain
    Free Member

    The sword, obviously. I’d use it on husband dearest, preferably at the altar, and as i died in gurgling agony I’d comfort myself with the knowledge every moment spent with Nige would be immeasurably worse.

    BigDummy
    Free Member

    The sword, obviously. I’d use it on husband dearest, preferably at the altar,

    A hero arises! dangeourbrain is the man our nation needs. 🙂

    theotherjonv
    Full Member

    Married to Farage! Anyone can make a mistake, but come on!

Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)

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