Valued tea lady retiring after many years – give me some jokes for a speech.

As it says, our much-loved and valued tea lady finishes tomorrow and I’ve been volunteered to do the speech. She loves smutty innuendo so I’ll be sure to include the one about a tea bag going in dry, coming out wet and giving two people great pleasure.

Got any more jokes?

You need to mention one of these

Enjoy your rest, you’ve urned it !!!!

We’ve replaced you with a soulless machine, viva la revolucion!

she always did it better than a Goblin teasmade

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teasmade

*may be understood by elderly smutty people

bloody hell, that’ll teach me to multitask and not read properly- sorry beaten to it

try something about a long spout

Combining smut and tea – 50 Shades of Earl Grey.

Sorry? A tea lady? The 70s return: first white dog pooh and now a tea lady!

I’ve not watched all of this but may well contain innuendo.

Tea ladies? smut? You are a time traveller from the 1970s and I claim my 10 pounds. Edit: soooooo slow

Having said that there are probably riffs on the themes of old bags and how do you take it?

A couple of good ideas there lads, thanks.

(Note: I work at a old-fashioned company; we have money in the bank and we pay cash for stuff including cars.)

Probably mileage in dunking as well. You can open up biscuit innuendo then. Viennese finger anyone?

She loves smutty innuendo

Worked with 2 scoucers witrha limited vocabulary, i made a joke about something, andf my mate said thats a good inuendo, to which one of the soucers said in a loud mouth, Whats a a f**KING inuendo.

Also mention you like dunking your hob nobs in her daily 50 shades of earl grey.
Also wish her the best on her transfer from, coasta nothing to costa lotta coffee house.

Oh and when a tight arse left a place we used to work at, he didnt like paying towards tea bags, we framed one and gave it to him as an emergency supply, with a break glass sticker attached, you can buy the boxes from screwfix

http://www.screwfix.com/p/sterling-emergency-key-safe-safe-break-glass/66994

she always did it better than a Goblin teasmade

Surely there’s nothing more satisfying than a good Goblin?

Ahhh Go On, you will, you will, go on…

…..old bag….

the reason the place runs so well is when she started the boss asked for bourbon(s) with his tea, one little error andit all went up hill from there

[Carry On]
Great buns/baps/meat filling etc.
Finger sanwhiches.
Good for a quick roll at lunchtime.
Treacle tart.
[/Carry On]

Surely some mention of ‘tea-bagging’ is in order here?

“I’d always wanted to give her my custard cream but instead over the years she’s given me many a chocolate finger.”

“She often used to be seen spooning furiously to satisfy (insert name of sweet tea drinker)’s cravings but since he showed her his sugar lumps she’s never been the same.”

Hmmmm yes…. warm and wet with two lumps….

Call her a burglar as all proper-tea is theft!

IGMC