So I’m 50 in a couple of weeks, and the wife and daughter twisted my arm into throwing a bit of a party. I’ve decided on an 80s theme as I count the first half of the 80s as my formative years.

Got all the cliche bases covered, just looking for a few finishing touches. Collected a load of conkers today to add to the fun and games.

Ta!

Smack! Get everyone off their tits on brown. Everyone was doing it in the 80’s

Take a zimmer.

What’s wrong with a sunny coke-fuelled Miami Vice homage theme? Smack’s so dreary.

Close down any heavy industry in your local area?

That’d be a right laugh.

Get 200 tennis balls and do your best Mike Reid impression for an impromptu game of Runaround.

RRRRUNAROUND…………..NOW!

Switch off your power, don’t empty your bins, tell everyone your dog has rabies, no heating due a coal shortage, only tins and dry good no fresh food as you can’t afford due to no minimum wage and import cost due to fuel shortages.  Ah sorry that’s a Brexit party.

What’s the question?

Half the guests dress as miners, half as coppers aaaaaaand…..

Pick something upbeat:

Our family were so poor in the 80’s that our dog only had one rabie

Hows about a Jim’ll Fixit room??

Whatever you do, make sure your flies are done up properly on your trousers, otherwise Chernobyl fallout

🙂

The early and mid 80’s were totally shit! Everything about them! Grim! But because they were so shit everyone had enough of all the shitness by 88 and thought “sod it! Let’s put smiley face t-shirts on and get mashed off our faces on weapons grade E’s and have an absolute bloody ball.

You should just do that 😀

Binners in the 80s?

or

Or go punk.  Everyone thinks of the 80s as either raves or new romantics /. new wave but punk carried on into the early 80s

Replicate Charles and Diana’s wedding?

Grab a PC and pretend to program MS-Dos..

You could defend the Falklands all over again..

Dress up in leotards and pretend you are Jane Fonda..

Call someone up on the first cell phone call..

Wear some Nike trainers..

Knock next doors wall down and pretend to be the Hoff..

Beat it to thriller and Billie Jean!

Soundtrack by Stiff records and 2 tone

Back on topic…

Spend most of the evening building a huge wall separating couples from each other and then at the end of the evening tell them that technically they have to wait until tomorrow to knock it down. They are allowed to climb over the wall during the last half hour.

#notreallyapartyplanner

Joyriding was all the rage then, let’s fire up the quatro!

Compulsory tabs for everyone. Full on Barclays, none of your Silk Cut nonsense. It’s not an 80s party if there isn’t a blue/grey fug hanging around 12″ below the ceiling in every room.

Boycott all South African fruit.

Anybody who can prove that they have bought no South African produce whatsoever all day gets a free Nelson Mandela.

The early and mid 80’s were totally shit!

Far better in the 70’s with piles of rubbish in the streets and energy blackouts, eh binners?

And just to twist the knife; coal production was on a linear decline for a century to only be affected briefly by strikes.

The 80’s was **** awesome!

Half the guests dress as miners, half as coppers aaaaaaand…..

Pit closure themed parties have proved difficult to get off the ground:

From https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-42128595

A miners’ strike-themed student rugby club event has been criticised as “disgraceful” and swiftly cancelled.

FB invite:

😬

Play a game of Twister (ok, not uniquely 80s, and no doubt more of a challenge 30+ years on, but part of everyone’s formative years and potentially highly amusing).

Clearly it’s about the pudding. Black Forest gateaux. Artic Roll. Etc etc.

Get some ignorant **** in a shiny suit to walk around telling everyone else that he’s just ordered a Porsche.

if you’re entertaining outside remember to leave suitable amounts of hedgeporn dotted around the topiary (bonus points for white dog poo)

Play Killing Joke’s “Eighties” on endless loop so people get the idea.

And a good chance to dig the MC Hammer trousers out

got to be 80’s films. Top gun, cocktail, gemlins, goonies etc

Ooh, look I found a photo which sums up everything that was bad about the 80s. Includes fashion, miners’ strike, politics, the housing crisis, Michael Fish’s weather forecast error and music, all in this one picture

Mad Max party.

Also doubles as a Hard Brexit party.

Roller disco.

Safe as ****.

You knows it.

Half of the guests twoc some MG Maestros and do doughnuts outside your house while sniffing glue. The other half wear brogues or deck shoes and suits and act like a cross between Rees Mogg and an estate agent.