- Unnecessarily Confrontational Bosses
1. receive snotty email
2. go and TALK to the person about it – they’ll either be a bit embarassed face-to-face (it’s so much easier to do by email…) and probably think twice about it in future or if they’re still snotty face to face and don’t think they’ve done anything wrong then it’s time to consider whether you want to work for tehm.
3. write a similarly snotty email back ccing in anyone you think might help in embarassing the boss by pointing out why they’re unquestionably the one in the wrong. IME that tends to stop the snotty emails too.Posted 6 years agoPJM1974Member
I had one of those. If he gave an instruction that I didn’t understand, he’d repeat himself word for word only louder. His style of management was “if in doubt, shout”.
I don’t work with him anymore, but it taught me not to be intimidated and to never baulk at explaining that their attitude isn’t helping the job get done.
Emailing someone with an attitude problem leaves plenty of room for misinterpreting your intentions and should only be used if you have the support of management.Posted 6 years agoalexxxMember
Whats the dealio? how can you tell them they don’t have to be so aggressive in a professional way that keeps the peace still?
I work freelance for a company and tired of feeling bad with totally OTT pressure for simple matters that can be resolved quickly and smoothly as normal nice people rather than edgy emails and “I’m right, your wrong” attitude (even if its not that black and white).
Any ideas? The only option I figure is to leave as it doesn’t fit the way I like to live my life!Posted 6 years agoBigButSlimmerBlokeMember
I’m dealing with a bit of a dick who seems to have just discovered snotty emails and is sending stuff addressed to me but cc’ing all sorts of people who aren’t even involved.Posted 6 years ago
Reply All – one of best weapons in the email warrior’s armoury, especially when combined with the phrase “As I have already explained to you..”CougarSubscriber
If bosses are being unprofessional, you’ve got the high ground. I’ve had a team leader bawl me out in the middle of a packed open plan office before now. My reaction (after I’d quelled the initial desire to defenestrate him) was to say “office” and walk to the nearest empty room.
He followed, still raging, and once outside I quietly explained that his behaviour was unprofessional and I wasn’t prepared to stand for it, and if it happened again I’d be taking it up with his boss and would consider tending my resignation and pursuing constructive dismissal proceedings. It was a risky gambit and I was running on adrenaline, but it didn’t happen again.
Mostly though, when I’ve had Big Bosses who are unreasonable bullies, the only way I’ve ever fixed it is by voting with my feet.Posted 6 years agobrooessMember
the root cause of this kind of behaviour is usually massive insecurity or trying to cover their own shortcomings. It’s bullying, basically.Posted 6 years ago
If you’re well-liked and good at your job they probably feel threatened by you.
personally I find political email responses only escalate the situation and plays into their passive aggressive territory.
Go and have a chat as suggested ^^
be mature, calm and pleasant and explain what you want. Stay reasonable and maintain the higher moral ground at all times
You may find you have to do this quite a few times until they get the message and treat you with more respect. Don’t expect them to change tho. They’ll prob just find another target once you’ve made it clear you’re unwilling to be one.toys19Member
the root cause of this kind of behaviour is usually massive insecurity or trying to cover their own shortcomings. It’s bullying, basically.
Or just your basic power addiction, some people love to shove their power down your throat.
at my kids school I overheard the teacher telling a Mum “In all my years of teaching I’ve never met such a nuaghty child such as X” (teacher qualified in 2009)Posted 6 years agoglobaltiMember
I am having issues right now with a woman colleague who is extremely prickly and defensive and keeps sending me stroppy emails. All I can do is reply in as courteous and pleasant a tone as possible and try not to let her needle me; at least that gives me a feeling of moral superiority.Posted 6 years agochakapingSubscriber
Oh, and in the past I have found it quite effective to privately ask awkward or aggressive colleagues if I’ve done something to upset them because it seems they’re angry with me quite a lot.
Give it a try, might make yr boss realise s/he is being a bit of a tool.
🙂Posted 6 years agoZedsdeadMember
My brother in law was made to feel pretty bad by someone just like that. They were pretty much abusing their position and talking the mick.
Anyhow, he waited. Saw him going to the toilet and then followed him in. No one else about so he picked up the cleaners mop and belted him right across his head.
He felt much better after that. lolPosted 6 years agobravohotel8erMember
We had this problem in my organisation.
A manager whose careerist ambition was in direct inverse proportion to her actual ability had been making life hell for various members of staff for quite some time.
We began to report every single breach of protocol/managerial error by her to senior management. Later, we copied every unreasonable email from her to them too along with the HR department and our union representatives. Eventually management realised what we’d all known for many months and demoted her.Posted 6 years agobigblokeMember
Can’t stand work bullies especially those that abuse their position.
I once had a supervisor that gave me a hard time, overlooked me for overtime etc. I waited for him one morning in the carpark before an early shift, as soon as he arrived i went over and confronted him straight face to face bluntly and asked why i got such a load of crap off him. A few words were exchanged but the situation changed somewhat after that and i was treated the same as the rest of the employees.
Not sure it would work in all cases but did in mine.Posted 6 years agoJulianAMember
Had a boss who refused to let me take a 20 minute lunch break and leave 1/2 an hour early (so doing more than the contracted hours) ‘for the sake of appearances’… As there were people who were working long hours ‘and wouldn’t like me leaving on time’
T****r – I walked and their project is going at least six weeks right.
WTF is there to do in Farnborough for an hour anyway? It’s foul!
Unemployed and looking forward to my next role doing something sensible.Posted 6 years agoNZColSubscriber
Am dealing with something like this just now. On the email thing don’t underestimate how little people read email, my little friend likes to send factually incorrect, borderline abusive emails to everyone despite agreeing totally different things. His boss and one above that both said to me they just delete them anyway however they bothbgrew some ands yesterday and sacked him it would seem. I did try and counsel him that actual face to face convos might reduce the need to act like a complete **** but clearly not. I’m learning to ignore this stuff.Posted 6 years agoA JamesMember
Leadership is usually defined by two generalised characteristics these are influence or control. A controlling leader will rely upon transactional power to assert their will on subordinates . Exerting our will on those who we have responsibility for leading is necessary but those who lack confidence or personal expertise to genuinely motivate people will fall back on the only thing that they are assured of; their power over you. So what to do?
Let me tell you something controversial but ‘powerful’ : we not only have resonsibility for those that we lead but for those who lead us and how they do it! What can you do to help him to be less of an arse?Posted 6 years agobrooessMember
What can you do to help him to be less of an arse?
If they’re a good person getting things wrong, this might work.Posted 6 years ago
This kind of personality is generally insecure, a bully and sometimes a full-on white collar psychopath.
They won’t change, and ‘helping’ them just means you’re playing by their rules. It’s not your problem.
But I agree if the person just genuinely can’t manage well but mean to then being a good follower can gain some ground.don simonMember
Surely the single, absolute number 1 element of being freelance is the ability to turn round and tell them to **** right off and walk?
Could someone clarify for me that the definition of freelance has changes, please? I would agree with binners on this one with regard to the traditional definition, but the more I see, the more I understand is that the freelancer has been removed from the payroll and contract then given the job back under the title of freelance. This is obviously beneficial to the company as they now don’t have contractual obligations, redundancy pay etc, but not necessarily for the freelance worker.Posted 6 years ago
This relationship will clearly affect how you respond to the situation.konabunnyMember
at my kids school I overheard the teacher telling a Mum “In all my years of teaching I’ve never met such a nuaghty child such as X” (teacher qualified in 2009)
In my extensive experience, people who make a point of referring to their extensive experience are usually total bullshitters who can’t substantiate what they’re saying on any other ground.Posted 6 years agoJulianAMember
allthepies – Member
WTF is there to do in Farnborough for an hour anyway? It’s foul!
Poundland is where it’s all at.
Shame Farnborough didn’t have rioting – it might have caused several million pounds’ worth of improvement!
I think I might have seen Hope there, chained to a post with vultures pecking out his liver every day (although a mate says that Hope never went to Farnborough: actually, I’m inclined to agree)Posted 6 years ago
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