Unnecessarily Confrontational Bosses

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  • Unnecessarily Confrontational Bosses
  • Premier Icon binners
    Subscriber

    Surely the single, absolute number 1 element of being freelance is the ability to turn round and tell them to **** right off and walk?

    No contractual obligations mean there’s eff all they can do

    Premier Icon BigJohn
    Subscriber

    I find the phrase “a lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part” usually helps to calm things down a bit 8)

    I find the phrase “a lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part” usually helps to calm things down a bit

    One for the note book. 😀

    clubber
    Member

    1. receive snotty email
    2. go and TALK to the person about it – they’ll either be a bit embarassed face-to-face (it’s so much easier to do by email…) and probably think twice about it in future or if they’re still snotty face to face and don’t think they’ve done anything wrong then it’s time to consider whether you want to work for tehm.

    or

    3. write a similarly snotty email back ccing in anyone you think might help in embarassing the boss by pointing out why they’re unquestionably the one in the wrong. IME that tends to stop the snotty emails too.

    PJM1974
    Member

    I had one of those. If he gave an instruction that I didn’t understand, he’d repeat himself word for word only louder. His style of management was “if in doubt, shout”.

    I don’t work with him anymore, but it taught me not to be intimidated and to never baulk at explaining that their attitude isn’t helping the job get done.

    Emailing someone with an attitude problem leaves plenty of room for misinterpreting your intentions and should only be used if you have the support of management.

    alexxx
    Member

    Whats the dealio? how can you tell them they don’t have to be so aggressive in a professional way that keeps the peace still?

    I work freelance for a company and tired of feeling bad with totally OTT pressure for simple matters that can be resolved quickly and smoothly as normal nice people rather than edgy emails and “I’m right, your wrong” attitude (even if its not that black and white).

    Any ideas? The only option I figure is to leave as it doesn’t fit the way I like to live my life!

    I’m dealing with a bit of a dick who seems to have just discovered snotty emails and is sending stuff addressed to me but cc’ing all sorts of people who aren’t even involved.
    Reply All – one of best weapons in the email warrior’s armoury, especially when combined with the phrase “As I have already explained to you..”

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    “As I have already explained to you..”

    “With reference to my previous email / as discussed / as you know…”

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    If bosses are being unprofessional, you’ve got the high ground. I’ve had a team leader bawl me out in the middle of a packed open plan office before now. My reaction (after I’d quelled the initial desire to defenestrate him) was to say “office” and walk to the nearest empty room.

    He followed, still raging, and once outside I quietly explained that his behaviour was unprofessional and I wasn’t prepared to stand for it, and if it happened again I’d be taking it up with his boss and would consider tending my resignation and pursuing constructive dismissal proceedings. It was a risky gambit and I was running on adrenaline, but it didn’t happen again.

    Mostly though, when I’ve had Big Bosses who are unreasonable bullies, the only way I’ve ever fixed it is by voting with my feet.

    brooess
    Member

    the root cause of this kind of behaviour is usually massive insecurity or trying to cover their own shortcomings. It’s bullying, basically.
    If you’re well-liked and good at your job they probably feel threatened by you.
    personally I find political email responses only escalate the situation and plays into their passive aggressive territory.
    Go and have a chat as suggested ^^
    be mature, calm and pleasant and explain what you want. Stay reasonable and maintain the higher moral ground at all times
    You may find you have to do this quite a few times until they get the message and treat you with more respect. Don’t expect them to change tho. They’ll prob just find another target once you’ve made it clear you’re unwilling to be one.

    I like to go for the childlike but very effective “but why?” approach. People only every get to about the 4th “but why?” before their arguement falls apart. This is a very good way of winning an arguement even when you know you are wrong.

    samuri
    Member

    Email is easy, unless you use a crazy computer made by a marketing department, your computer will have a ‘delete’ button. Use that.

    If they’re talking to you and you’re lucky enough to be a man, simply turn on your sex imagination until the noise stops.

    toys19
    Member

    the root cause of this kind of behaviour is usually massive insecurity or trying to cover their own shortcomings. It’s bullying, basically.

    Or just your basic power addiction, some people love to shove their power down your throat.

    at my kids school I overheard the teacher telling a Mum “In all my years of teaching I’ve never met such a nuaghty child such as X” (teacher qualified in 2009)

    globalti
    Member

    I am having issues right now with a woman colleague who is extremely prickly and defensive and keeps sending me stroppy emails. All I can do is reply in as courteous and pleasant a tone as possible and try not to let her needle me; at least that gives me a feeling of moral superiority.

    Pieface
    Member

    Samuri – ‘If they’re talking to you and you’re lucky enough to be a man, simply turn on your sex imagination until the noise stops’

    You mean create a trouser tent?

    samuri
    Member

    Sure, at least that way they’ll know you’re no listening.

    Oh hang on, they might think it’s them doing it.

    Premier Icon chakaping
    Subscriber

    Surely the single, absolute number 1 element of being freelance is the ability to turn round and tell them to **** right off and walk?

    No, it’s the ability to eat a big bowl of shit and smile and ask for more.

    yunki
    Member

    a poke in the eye is generally considered the most efficient method..

    Premier Icon chakaping
    Subscriber

    Oh, and in the past I have found it quite effective to privately ask awkward or aggressive colleagues if I’ve done something to upset them because it seems they’re angry with me quite a lot.

    Give it a try, might make yr boss realise s/he is being a bit of a tool.

    🙂

    Junkyard
    Member

    Have you thought about having a fight with them?

    wrecker
    Member

    Yess Junky. Punch him right in the cock. No warning just stroll over and BOOF!

    Zedsdead
    Member

    My brother in law was made to feel pretty bad by someone just like that. They were pretty much abusing their position and talking the mick.

    Anyhow, he waited. Saw him going to the toilet and then followed him in. No one else about so he picked up the cleaners mop and belted him right across his head.

    He felt much better after that. lol

    Dodgy Boss? It’ll cost you but I’ll catch him for you…

    We had this problem in my organisation.

    A manager whose careerist ambition was in direct inverse proportion to her actual ability had been making life hell for various members of staff for quite some time.

    We began to report every single breach of protocol/managerial error by her to senior management. Later, we copied every unreasonable email from her to them too along with the HR department and our union representatives. Eventually management realised what we’d all known for many months and demoted her.

    bigbloke
    Member

    Can’t stand work bullies especially those that abuse their position.

    I once had a supervisor that gave me a hard time, overlooked me for overtime etc. I waited for him one morning in the carpark before an early shift, as soon as he arrived i went over and confronted him straight face to face bluntly and asked why i got such a load of crap off him. A few words were exchanged but the situation changed somewhat after that and i was treated the same as the rest of the employees.

    Not sure it would work in all cases but did in mine.

    JulianA
    Member

    Had a boss who refused to let me take a 20 minute lunch break and leave 1/2 an hour early (so doing more than the contracted hours) ‘for the sake of appearances’… As there were people who were working long hours ‘and wouldn’t like me leaving on time’

    T****r – I walked and their project is going at least six weeks right.

    WTF is there to do in Farnborough for an hour anyway? It’s foul!

    Unemployed and looking forward to my next role doing something sensible.

    Premier Icon NZCol
    Subscriber

    Am dealing with something like this just now. On the email thing don’t underestimate how little people read email, my little friend likes to send factually incorrect, borderline abusive emails to everyone despite agreeing totally different things. His boss and one above that both said to me they just delete them anyway however they bothbgrew some ands yesterday and sacked him it would seem. I did try and counsel him that actual face to face convos might reduce the need to act like a complete **** but clearly not. I’m learning to ignore this stuff.

    Repeat each sentence back to them with a lift and a question mark at the end.

    Print out snotty email, and wave in their face: “What’s all this about?” and “Why was it necessary to email everyone on the Planet?”.

    Let them know that you won’t be cowed.

    crikey
    Member

    Point out to them that you go on STW, and will whine and moan along with everyone else about how nasty they are to you.
    That should do it.

    A James
    Member

    Leadership is usually defined by two generalised characteristics these are influence or control. A controlling leader will rely upon transactional power to assert their will on subordinates . Exerting our will on those who we have responsibility for leading is necessary but those who lack confidence or personal expertise to genuinely motivate people will fall back on the only thing that they are assured of; their power over you. So what to do?

    Let me tell you something controversial but ‘powerful’ : we not only have resonsibility for those that we lead but for those who lead us and how they do it! What can you do to help him to be less of an arse?

    allthepies
    Member

    WTF is there to do in Farnborough for an hour anyway? It’s foul!

    Poundland is where it’s all at.

    brooess
    Member

    What can you do to help him to be less of an arse?

    If they’re a good person getting things wrong, this might work.
    BUT
    This kind of personality is generally insecure, a bully and sometimes a full-on white collar psychopath.
    They won’t change, and ‘helping’ them just means you’re playing by their rules. It’s not your problem.
    But I agree if the person just genuinely can’t manage well but mean to then being a good follower can gain some ground.

    Premier Icon geoffj
    Subscriber

    It’s not your problem

    It quite clearly is the OP’s problem.

    don simon
    Member

    Surely the single, absolute number 1 element of being freelance is the ability to turn round and tell them to **** right off and walk?

    Could someone clarify for me that the definition of freelance has changes, please? I would agree with binners on this one with regard to the traditional definition, but the more I see, the more I understand is that the freelancer has been removed from the payroll and contract then given the job back under the title of freelance. This is obviously beneficial to the company as they now don’t have contractual obligations, redundancy pay etc, but not necessarily for the freelance worker.
    This relationship will clearly affect how you respond to the situation.

    konabunny
    Member

    at my kids school I overheard the teacher telling a Mum “In all my years of teaching I’ve never met such a nuaghty child such as X” (teacher qualified in 2009)

    In my extensive experience, people who make a point of referring to their extensive experience are usually total bullshitters who can’t substantiate what they’re saying on any other ground.

    JulianA
    Member

    allthepies – Member

    WTF is there to do in Farnborough for an hour anyway? It’s foul!

    Poundland is where it’s all at.

    Shame Farnborough didn’t have rioting – it might have caused several million pounds’ worth of improvement!

    I think I might have seen Hope there, chained to a post with vultures pecking out his liver every day (although a mate says that Hope never went to Farnborough: actually, I’m inclined to agree)

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