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  • University open day ?
  • Premier Icon taxi25
    Free Member

    My sons attending a university open day next week.I’m going to take him, but what’s the right thing for parents to do. Do you just drop you kids off and pick them up later, or do you trapse around with them ? I’d like to look around myself,but its him going (maybe) not me.He says to just drop him off,but my wife says to stay with him.

    Premier Icon PJ266
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    My mum stayed with me, as did most other parents. They did split us off to show us round.

    Premier Icon Jammy111
    Free Member

    yer go with him, i went through the whole open days thing a couple of years ago and most people had their parents with them. Some uni’s then separate parents and kids off into two groups others dont.

    Premier Icon Jammy111
    Free Member

    Premier Icon TijuanaTaxi
    Free Member

    We went to the introductory talk together and then left the kid go off to the talks about the courses she was interested in and went for a cuppa. I did attend the Maths lecture at one, but dropped off i’m ashamed to say
    Met up later and went to look at the accomodation together and generally discuss things
    Worth going to at least one of the talks about the finance side of things

    Found some of the open days were very well organised and others not so good. Best was LSE, got coffee there and worst was Surrey,trying to find the courses on a board someone was holding up
    Bath and York were nice days out although the former had awful traffic congestion and took an hour from the M4

    Bit annoying that when the youngsters get an offer you are invited back again, so if they are only interested in three or four might just as well wait and then go the ones they get the offers for before they decide their final selection order

    Premier Icon jonb
    Free Member

    Depends, what are they doing? Just been shown around or is there “fun things” on offer.

    When I was looking some places I just went to on my own, others I went to with my parents. There was always a mix of both at each, didn’t really make any difference.

    If he wants to be dropped off do that, he may feel more comfortable looking and asking questions without you there.

    Premier Icon TandemJeremy
    Free Member

    I would let him go on his own. Discuss beforehand what he might want to find out.

    I find the parental mollycoddling really irritating. I went on the train alone to mine and so did most others – a good few years ago tho

    Premier Icon meikle_partans
    Full Member

    helicopter parent!

    me and all my friends went on our own. pretty much my first taste of really organising things myself. this was in 2001, i didnt realise things had chanegd that much since then. ive read a whole load of newspaper articles about universities getting increasingly frustrated with parents at uni open days. i say let him go on his own.

    Premier Icon allyharp
    Full Member

    I remember attending various open days and there were no parents there, but as far as I remember these were organised through school.

    But I also remember attending 2 specific department open days. I think these come around after you’ve applied for various courses, perhaps even after they’ve given you an offer which they’re hoping you’ll accept. There were parents at both of those events (though I only brought mine once) and at one of them they separated students and parents.

    Premier Icon atlaz
    Free Member

    I either went on the train or my dad dropped me off for mine and then went and had a walk around the town I was in. My parents would come to university to visit but I think the first time they spent much more time than it took to than pick me up and drop me off was when I graduated.

    At university I did a lot of “guiding” for these groups and almost always, having a parent in tow made most of the rest of the group feel a bit awkward and it made it hard at times for the others in the group to get a good feel for the place. I’d recommend that you walk around the campus a bit and see what the place is like, just not with your son.

    To be blunt, if he’s going away to university soon, may as well let him have the freedom to choose the one he wants without you muddying the water.

    Premier Icon willsimmons
    Free Member

    I agree with all the recommendations to let them look around on their own. If he’s old enough to be going to University he is old enough to make these decisions on his own. Nothing wrong with having a look round on your own after dropping him off but it’s his decision to make, not yours. If you walk round on your own you will be able to offer an opinion IF he asks for it!

    Hope that is not too blunt. I started University in 2002 and went to all open days on my own, which was actively encouraged by my parents. I’m glad that I have parents that were able to take a step back and let me get on with it. They were confident enough that I would make the right decision for ME.

    Just make sure he doesn’t turn into one of those wet weekend students that pop home every weekend to see mummy and daddy as they’re too weak to stand on their own two feet. Seen plenty of those in my university time, none of which have gone on to do anything of note either while at the university or afterwards! University is a great opportunity to stand on your own two feet and develop character. I think that starts with the open days and deciding where he wants to go!

    Premier Icon TijuanaTaxi
    Free Member

    So by that reasoning everyone who stayed living at home with as you put it Mummy and Daddy are lily livered failures. When I was a kid nobody went off for a three year holiday, out to work and that usually meant living at home
    Obviously my schoolmate the multi millionaire really blew it along with all the other reasonably successful people I know.

    Perhaps you weren’t actually wanted and ma and pa were glad to see the back of you.
    Everyone is different so how can you make such a sweeping statement, just as easy to say you were not ready to enter the adult world.

    Premier Icon timber
    Full Member

    Went to open days with my dad as was quite a drive and I didn’t have much time off work and chose uni’s at least a 500 mile drive away from home.

    He mostly did his own research into the places, seeing where would serve the best pint, one uni was a bit put off he didn’t want the financial talk or accommodation tour

    Premier Icon willsimmons
    Free Member

    So by that reasoning everyone who stayed living at home with as you put it Mummy and Daddy are lily livered failures. When I was a kid nobody went off for a three year holiday, out to work and that usually meant living at home
    Obviously my schoolmate the multi millionaire really blew it along with all the other reasonably successful people I know.

    Perhaps you weren’t actually wanted and ma and pa were glad to see the back of you.
    Everyone is different so how can you make such a sweeping statement, just as easy to say you were not ready to enter the adult world.

    Eh? I don’t understand your point, if there is one. I was talking about the student that goes home every weekend throughout term time. Did you read my post?

    You are right though, my parents didn’t want me at home forever. They wanted me to have the ability to stand on my own two feet, and I would say they have succeeded. The first few weeks in first year accommodation were interesting, seeing who could actually cook a meal for themselves.

    Premier Icon sadmadalan
    Full Member

    Just going through this with my elder son. So far we have taken him and hung around attending the various talks. It has been useful for me to see about the finance bit (since I am having to fund this bit of his education) and to get a feeling about the place. Also get to talk to him about what he thinks.

    However having been to a couple of talks on maths and a couple on chemical engineering I have a better idea of what he needs to put on his personal statement depending on the choice of course. Generally if he applies and they are interested in him he will get to go back and in that case he can do it by himself.

    (Personally I the thought of spending four years studying maths almost made me fall asleep and chemical engineering is much the same. Still as I not in a good position to talk as I did a computer science degree nearly 30 years ago!)

    Premier Icon meikle_partans
    Full Member

    [/url]null

    and it gets worse!:
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2008/jan/02/students.uk

    Premier Icon lethal_frizzle
    Free Member

    the first uni open day i went to, my parents came with me.

    the second time i went by myself, was one of the first times i had properly been away for a few days on my own. (the uni is a long way from home)
    the long and the short of it is that a 17 year old me ended up having more than a few drinks with some students i befriended and spent the bus journey home in the toilet for a lot of it. not sure what my parent thought.
    i dont know if you as a parent would be too keen on that happening to your son, should be ok if its a day trip think!
    i think after that my parents knew i could probably handle going travelling for 6 months by myself though 😉

    Premier Icon thisisnotaspoon
    Full Member

    depends on the open day,

    whole uni ones are largely pointless, you may as well not bother,just wait for the department ones.

    most departments will invite you up for an interview, which will ucualy take up a day with tours, lectures etc.

    Usualy it says in the letter from the uni whether parents can come or not. Mine went to the loughborough ones because theyd heard it was a good one for getting all the info on loans etc.

    Premier Icon taxi25
    Free Member

    Cheers for the advise.There seems to be two schools of thought though.I’m deff.no Helicopter parent WTF !!! They seem a total nightmare. It’s a departmental open day so I’ll pop in for a bit but keep a low profile.

    Premier Icon timbercombe
    Free Member

    I’ve just been through the whole Uni process and waiting on A Level Results,
    I had one interview for Medicine at UEA which I went to on my own, more stressful, but gives you a better feel for the uni, what it’d be like getting there, and you have no-one to chat to so on the bus/walking in the uni etc. you talk to students and get a less manufactured feel.
    2nd interview was at Notts, Dad drove me up this time he dropped me off at the meeting point then pootled off into town and had a day about Nottingham, he got a feel for the city whilst I got a feel for the uni and had the talks.
    With Nottingham I didn’t mind Dad being there and it took a little stress off of making sure trains/taxi’s all connect up etc. and he didn’t molly-coddle me but got to see where his son could potentially end up in life, I didn’t mind either way.
    I must say though (it doesn’t sound like you’ll do it) but if my parent/s sat with me through finance talks/tours etc. I’d feel a right fool and that you have a lesser experience as you’re exploring the university less and more in a comfort zone you’re less likely to move out of in order to have a chat with students/other people on the open day/interview.

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