Tried to talk to my son tonight…

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  • Tried to talk to my son tonight…
  • aphex_2k
    Member

    Tried to explain where Mom’s been the past couple of days, and what’s happening.

    For about 2 weeks she’s been having migraines. Vomiting. Loss of vision. He’s five, and been great. Just goes off to the kitchen, get’s a bowl. “Here’s a sicky bowl, Mom”. Lies in bed with her, cuddling.

    Last Thursday I sent her to the docs. Doc says he’ll do a referral for a head CT which notes a 26mm mass in right ventricle. Still getting headaches, so he thinks a MRI is needed. On Friday night I say she should go to ED, explain the symptoms and get them to organise an MRI, but at the weekends they say it’s not possible to get one done, will have to be after the weekend. Check her out, phone consult a neurologist and think she’ll be fine for the weekend.

    Monday, she keeps the boy off school, takes him with her for the MRI. Results go back to GP who phones and wants to see her pronto.

    GP confirms mass, appears to be tumorous. So Monday afternoon we’re trying to find a private neurologist to see her ASAP. After a few calls and in some cases “we’ll get back to you in a couple of days” we decide it’s a good idea if she goes to another hospital where the neuro consultants and professors are based.

    She’s been in since Monday night. Neuro is 90% sure it’s a benign tumour, but will have to be removed, so looks like surgery on Monday. She had another MRI today (a wafer mri) which the surgeons will work from.

    I’m optimistic, on the whole. I was a little worried when she told me social workers and welfare officers had been to see her as “you have 2 young kids” which I’m not sure is standard protocol for brain surgery, or damage limitation for the worst case scenario.

    Neurologist says might turn out sinister but at this stage doesn’t think so. Impossible to be certain though. Might affect speech, sight, memory, movement, can’t drive, may have seizures. 6 weeks plus recovery time. Maybe physio.

    My boy says “can’t they use a special gun and turn her brain inside out and just get it?”

    Naturally everyone is shocked, stunned, mortified. First couple of days it didn’t sink in for me. I work in mental health, I’m well aware of how this all works. One of the docs / friend from work has been messaging me as I went in to see her yesterday in a sort of “WTF, got any decent neuro mates?” way.

    I”m gonna be off work until the end of the week but I’m planning on going back on Sat.

    Mental.

    Keep having flashbacks of things we’ve said. Notably early last week when I finally booked a vasectomy (it’s our ten year anniversary too) and she jokingly said, “are you sure you want to do this? what if I die and your new wife wants kids”

    Well, I think I’ve waffled enough. If you got this far, thanks. I always see these type of threads and think it’s good to just write it all down. Clears things in your head a little.

    finbar
    Member

    That’s the sort of thing I have nightmares about. I’m really sorry. I hope its benign.

    Man, that is awful.

    Hope it all turns out OK. Best wishes to you and your family.

    Premier Icon spawnofyorkshire
    Subscriber

    Feel free to waffle more OP

    Best wishes, hope everything goes ok

    Wow, that is awful news. Hope all goes as well as it possibly can.

    Wishing you all the very best of luck.

    Premier Icon MoreCashThanDash
    Subscriber

    Absolutely my nightmare scenario, and I’m not going to pretend I know what to say that can help you, other than to know that there are a load of on here who will be rooting for you all and will be here to listen at any time of the day or night if you need to off load or brain dump the turmoil.

    I hope it’s benign as they are suggesting or at least caught in time. Be strong for your wife and your boy, come on here and sob your heart out if you need to.

    That’s awful – my best wishes for you all and fingers crossed for next week.

    Premier Icon davosaurusrex
    Subscriber

    Blimey. What a thing to have to deal with. Thoughts with you all. Chin up though, modern medicine is bloody remarkable.

    4130s0ul
    Member

    Wishing you and your loved ones all the best of luck mate.

    You know you have a great support network here so if there’s anything you need just pop up a post, I’m sure whatever the time it is there’ll be someone here to give you support.

    healing vibes being sent to your Mrs

    4130

    devash
    Member

    Very sorry to hear, hopefully the optimistic outlook of the surgeon will be the way it transpires. Try not to think of other avenues as hopefully everything will turn out ok.

    scud
    Member

    Terrible news, but as hard as it can be, stay strong for your wife and lad, they will need an anchor.

    Fingers and toes crossed and all the best

    allthegear
    Member

    Hope enjoy manage to get it all okay and she makes a full recovery. Hang in there and waffle all you like.

    Rachel x

    TurnerGuy
    Member

    really hope everything works out for everyone, fingers crossed here.

    dantsw13
    Member

    Even though your lad sounds strong, it will affect him – make sure he is ok. Good luck to you all – wishing for a positive outcome.

    bensales
    Member

    Good luck.

    Premier Icon T666DOM
    Subscriber

    Just to weigh up different options, may not be suitable in your wife’s case. My Dad was diagnosed with a benign tumour, about as big as a walnut on his auditory nerve, he was advised against surgery due to his age and had ‘Gamma Knife’ radiotherapy in Sheffield, where they basically bolt you into a MRI scanner to map out the tumour then use a focal radiotherapy beam to accurately target the tumour.

    The professor at Sheffield strongly advised against surgery, but a local junior neuro consultant wanted to operate & Dad thought he seemed a bit to quick to want to get him under the knife.

    Might be worth a mention if the Gamma-Knife is a possible alternative, the only issue he had post op which may have been unrelated was temporary Bell’s palsy like symptoms.

    Hope it all goes well

    onlysteel
    Member

    Don’t worry about waffling -if it helps in any way to get it out there then it’s all good.
    Best of luck to you all.

    Premier Icon Pik n Mix
    Subscriber

    That’s a hell of a lot to deal with. Good luck.

    stumpy01
    Member

    Fingers crossed for a happy outcome…..I’m sure we’ll all be thinking of you.

    sandboy
    Member

    Wishing and praying for a positive outcome! Stay strong fella.

    xico
    Member

    Best wishes, OP. My eyes filled up when I read the bit about your little boy’s questions. I hope everything works out well for all of you.

    ninfan
    Member

    Shit news – fingers crossed that it works out well for all of you. Make sure you find some good stuff to do with the boy to take his mind off it, and rather than just going from and to and then hanging around in hospitals.

    Thinking of you. Good luck to you all.

    You’re right, writing these things down can be very cathartic. We’re a good bunch to off-load on.

    willard
    Member

    Shit dude. There’s not much more I can add but my very best wishes and hopes for you all.

    Premier Icon scaled
    Subscriber

    Blimey, fingers crossed for a speedy recovery to Mrs 2k.

    Pigface
    Member

    Fingers crossed for a happy ending, my thoughts and best wished to you.

    badnewz
    Member

    90% is very optimistic, so it should hopefully all be ok.
    Fingers crossed for you all.

    Premier Icon wwaswas
    Subscriber

    shit.

    What a dreadful situation for all of you.

    Hope the surgery goes well and the initial diagnosis/prognosis is confirmed.

    Very best of luck OP. A friend has recently gone through something very similar – ironically he’s a GP in the forces. He’s had surgery and is still walking / talking / riding.

    Fingers crossed for you all and sending positive thoughts your way.

    ads678
    Member

    Hope everything turns out ok for you and your family. I don’t know how i’d cope with that sort of shit.

    Kuco
    Member

    Best wishes and hope everything turns out okay.

    Markie
    Member

    Best wishes to you.

    wanderer
    Member

    Hoping for you all.

    No matter the outcome, you probably won’t regret hugging and kissing her and your boy as much as possible right now.

    Premier Icon funkmasterp
    Subscriber

    Really sorry to hear this apex. Hope that the surgery goes well and any side effects are limited and short term. Where are you based? If you want someone to have a drink with, talk to etc and you’re near me I’d be happy to oblige. I have a demented three year old who could keep your son amused.

    Premier Icon tuskaloosa
    Subscriber

    sorry to hear OP, wish you and your family all the best.

    Stay strong

    nealglover
    Member

    Well, I think I’ve waffled enough.

    Anything that helps.

    Feel free to waffle as much as you need to, plenty of people here to help who have been in similar situations. Or just to offer sympathy if that’s what me needed.

    shermer75
    Member

    Well done for being so strong and for being there for your son and wife, you can be absolutely certain that it is meaning everything to them right now. It sounds like very tough times but you are a very long way from needing to give up hope yet- one step at a time!

    As above you are not waffling, if it helps to keep writing then keep writing. You will find nothing but support here.

    You are doing all the right things and you will get through this. You’ll get through this because you have to, so you will get through this. Keep at it!!!

    Premier Icon Drac
    Subscriber

    **** hell.

    I’ve just had my issues put back into perspective.

    Here’s to thinking and wishing for you and your family.

    Best wishes.

    Premier Icon Mary Hinge
    Subscriber

    Best wishes to you your wife and your family.

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