- Tried to talk to my son tonight…
Tried to explain where Mom’s been the past couple of days, and what’s happening.
For about 2 weeks she’s been having migraines. Vomiting. Loss of vision. He’s five, and been great. Just goes off to the kitchen, get’s a bowl. “Here’s a sicky bowl, Mom”. Lies in bed with her, cuddling.
Last Thursday I sent her to the docs. Doc says he’ll do a referral for a head CT which notes a 26mm mass in right ventricle. Still getting headaches, so he thinks a MRI is needed. On Friday night I say she should go to ED, explain the symptoms and get them to organise an MRI, but at the weekends they say it’s not possible to get one done, will have to be after the weekend. Check her out, phone consult a neurologist and think she’ll be fine for the weekend.
Monday, she keeps the boy off school, takes him with her for the MRI. Results go back to GP who phones and wants to see her pronto.
GP confirms mass, appears to be tumorous. So Monday afternoon we’re trying to find a private neurologist to see her ASAP. After a few calls and in some cases “we’ll get back to you in a couple of days” we decide it’s a good idea if she goes to another hospital where the neuro consultants and professors are based.
She’s been in since Monday night. Neuro is 90% sure it’s a benign tumour, but will have to be removed, so looks like surgery on Monday. She had another MRI today (a wafer mri) which the surgeons will work from.
I’m optimistic, on the whole. I was a little worried when she told me social workers and welfare officers had been to see her as “you have 2 young kids” which I’m not sure is standard protocol for brain surgery, or damage limitation for the worst case scenario.
Neurologist says might turn out sinister but at this stage doesn’t think so. Impossible to be certain though. Might affect speech, sight, memory, movement, can’t drive, may have seizures. 6 weeks plus recovery time. Maybe physio.
My boy says “can’t they use a special gun and turn her brain inside out and just get it?”
Naturally everyone is shocked, stunned, mortified. First couple of days it didn’t sink in for me. I work in mental health, I’m well aware of how this all works. One of the docs / friend from work has been messaging me as I went in to see her yesterday in a sort of “WTF, got any decent neuro mates?” way.
I”m gonna be off work until the end of the week but I’m planning on going back on Sat.
Keep having flashbacks of things we’ve said. Notably early last week when I finally booked a vasectomy (it’s our ten year anniversary too) and she jokingly said, “are you sure you want to do this? what if I die and your new wife wants kids”
Well, I think I’ve waffled enough. If you got this far, thanks. I always see these type of threads and think it’s good to just write it all down. Clears things in your head a little.Posted 2 years agoMoreCashThanDashSubscriber
Absolutely my nightmare scenario, and I’m not going to pretend I know what to say that can help you, other than to know that there are a load of on here who will be rooting for you all and will be here to listen at any time of the day or night if you need to off load or brain dump the turmoil.
I hope it’s benign as they are suggesting or at least caught in time. Be strong for your wife and your boy, come on here and sob your heart out if you need to.Posted 2 years ago4130s0ulMember
Wishing you and your loved ones all the best of luck mate.
You know you have a great support network here so if there’s anything you need just pop up a post, I’m sure whatever the time it is there’ll be someone here to give you support.
healing vibes being sent to your Mrs
4130Posted 2 years agoT666DOMSubscriber
Just to weigh up different options, may not be suitable in your wife’s case. My Dad was diagnosed with a benign tumour, about as big as a walnut on his auditory nerve, he was advised against surgery due to his age and had ‘Gamma Knife’ radiotherapy in Sheffield, where they basically bolt you into a MRI scanner to map out the tumour then use a focal radiotherapy beam to accurately target the tumour.
The professor at Sheffield strongly advised against surgery, but a local junior neuro consultant wanted to operate & Dad thought he seemed a bit to quick to want to get him under the knife.
Might be worth a mention if the Gamma-Knife is a possible alternative, the only issue he had post op which may have been unrelated was temporary Bell’s palsy like symptoms.
Hope it all goes wellPosted 2 years agofunkmasterpSubscriber
Really sorry to hear this apex. Hope that the surgery goes well and any side effects are limited and short term. Where are you based? If you want someone to have a drink with, talk to etc and you’re near me I’d be happy to oblige. I have a demented three year old who could keep your son amused.Posted 2 years agoshermer75Member
Well done for being so strong and for being there for your son and wife, you can be absolutely certain that it is meaning everything to them right now. It sounds like very tough times but you are a very long way from needing to give up hope yet- one step at a time!
As above you are not waffling, if it helps to keep writing then keep writing. You will find nothing but support here.
You are doing all the right things and you will get through this. You’ll get through this because you have to, so you will get through this. Keep at it!!!Posted 2 years ago
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